We is essential
Listening yesterday to Sebastian Junger’s Ted Talk, “Our lonely society makes it hard to come home from war” (posted May 2016) was another poignant reminder that, with some exceptions, we humans are tribal/social animals. Mr. Junger was a war correspondent for 15 years and became interested in PTSD and “dis eases” of those returning from living in active war situations. Given his background in anthropology and his fieldwork on the Navajo reservation, he postulates that Native Americans, such as the Navajos, returning from fighting did not have PTSD because they were coming home to the tribe.
The suicide rate among those, especially men, who were veterans of the Vietnam War has been very high. The rate of suicide is not related to the extent of their involvement in active combat. In fact, Mr. Junger explores the question of the relationship between suicide of veterans and the kind of society veterans return home to.
For many years I counseled veterans, primarily Vietnam Veterans. Although I am a veteran I was never in a combat situation and, in fact, never left the United States. I was, however, working for/with those who were experiencing grief and often what would eventually be officially labeled as having post-traumatic stress syndrome. I was also working with/for victims of domestic violence and those who were labeled as the perpetrators of domestic violence. In both groups I often noted the symptoms of depression.
I became very interested in those who, although scarred by their war experience or their experience of living in violent domestic situations, seemed to emerge relatively psychologically healthy.
I devoured books on surviving traumatic situations. Books by such individuals as Phillip Caputo, Gloria Emerson, Lenore Walker, Dr. Alice Miller and others were very helpful. Interviewing returning veterans who were doing relatively well was also a great source of help. As I sit here, some years later, acutely aware that we continue to send a great many people into combat, have a high rate of domestic violence and foster the creation of a culture which is increasingly diverse and increasingly an us – them society, I am aware of the following:
· Those in active combat situations with other individuals continue to experience a level of teamwork and closeness seldom found in neighborhood and work situations when they return home. Those involved in organized team sports may experience a similar level of closeness and teamwork.
· Those who survive traumatic situations relatively intact emotionally are those who (1) in the midst of a traumatic situations, without excessive use of alcohol or other drugs which would increase danger, are able to use time out moments to enjoy friendships, a letter from home, a sunset or sunrise tend to retain the ability to see both negative and positive when they return home and (2) those who return to a supportive family and a life which feels meaningful tend to fare better.
· Even men and women who hate combat miss the closeness one experiences with one’s teammates/unit. There is an enormous closeness even among men when one is in situations in which one is dependent on each other for survival.
· Some have suggested that when we men are in a role which is traditionally considered very masculine, we allow a level of affection and closeness with other men we do not otherwise allow. One’s masculinity cannot be questioned if one is fighting a war and engaging in a very tough physical, team sport such as football or hockey.
· In the United States and in many other places the sense of tribe or extended family is less present for most people. Living in a suburb where one uses a clicker to open and close a garage door before one enters the sanctity of one’s private home (with or without a nuclear family) which likely has a privacy hedge or fence insures that one does not have to deal with one’s neighbors (tribe).
· More and more individuals are taking advantage of being able to work from home where they may or may not be taking care of children. Our sense of a work-time tribe may be limited to those we see at the library or at our local connected coffee shop.
· We in the United States build more and more prisons which are not even administered by local, state or federal governments but by private firms. We fill these prisons with those we labels as criminals, them, the bad people, or the undesirable. The sense of tribe is very limited in this, dangerous, frightening environment.
· More and more children in the United States are homeschooled.
· We know that a sense of disconnection from the tribe/family/community/self/God of one’s understanding is a both a symptom of depression and something which can cause depression.
· One of the most common statements of someone who has become addicted to alcohol, drugs, sex, money, food, power or some other substance or activity is that they have never felt a part of a community/family/tribe.
· Out of sight, out of mind, seems to be a coping mechanism. Just this morning I was talking to a man who had just returned from a visit to Washington, DC with his brother. He remarked that he loved the fact that the city has been cleaned up and there are no homeless people in evidence. He seemed offended when I asked what had happened to the homeless in DC. He shrugged his shoulders and said, “Perhaps under the bridge.”
· Terrorist groups and some criminal gangs have both a strong sense of community and a strong sense of moral purpose.
· Fewer people are attending organized church services. The May 20,2016 edition of the Huffington Post reports that with some exceptions fewer than 20% of people in the United States regularly attend a religious service.
Mr. Junger in his most recent Ted talk states:
“Certainly, modern society is hard on the human psyche by every metric that we have. As wealth goes up in a society, the suicide rate goes up instead of down. If you live in modern society, you're up to eight times more likely to suffer from depression in your lifetime than if you live in a poor, agrarian society. Modern society has probably produced the highest rates of suicide and depression and anxiety and loneliness and child abuse ever in human history. I saw one study that compared women in Nigeria, one of the most chaotic and violent and corrupt and poorest countries in Africa, to women in North America. And the highest rates of depression were urban women in North America. That was also the wealthiest group. “
Certainly there are those humans who work better in isolation, whose brain may be missing the ability or need to be empathetic and, thus, the need or desire to be close with others – to be an active member of a tribe. Research in recently years indicates this may be the case with those on the autism spectrum. Most of us, however do better when:
· We are an active member of the community – a tribe.
· We recognize and honor the fact that we live in an interactional body and universe. We are interdependent. At one level everything we do and, thus, everything we do not do affects the entire universe.
· We will sink into depression with accompanying anger, violence, and disconnection or find ways of connection even if that connection is with a Third Reich or other terrorist group. (The Allies paid a high price for their treatment of the German people following World War I.)
A sense of “we” is essential for our survival. We cannot survive or thrive long term without restoring the tribe.
Written May 20, 2016
Listening yesterday to Sebastian Junger’s Ted Talk, “Our lonely society makes it hard to come home from war” (posted May 2016) was another poignant reminder that, with some exceptions, we humans are tribal/social animals. Mr. Junger was a war correspondent for 15 years and became interested in PTSD and “dis eases” of those returning from living in active war situations. Given his background in anthropology and his fieldwork on the Navajo reservation, he postulates that Native Americans, such as the Navajos, returning from fighting did not have PTSD because they were coming home to the tribe.
The suicide rate among those, especially men, who were veterans of the Vietnam War has been very high. The rate of suicide is not related to the extent of their involvement in active combat. In fact, Mr. Junger explores the question of the relationship between suicide of veterans and the kind of society veterans return home to.
For many years I counseled veterans, primarily Vietnam Veterans. Although I am a veteran I was never in a combat situation and, in fact, never left the United States. I was, however, working for/with those who were experiencing grief and often what would eventually be officially labeled as having post-traumatic stress syndrome. I was also working with/for victims of domestic violence and those who were labeled as the perpetrators of domestic violence. In both groups I often noted the symptoms of depression.
I became very interested in those who, although scarred by their war experience or their experience of living in violent domestic situations, seemed to emerge relatively psychologically healthy.
I devoured books on surviving traumatic situations. Books by such individuals as Phillip Caputo, Gloria Emerson, Lenore Walker, Dr. Alice Miller and others were very helpful. Interviewing returning veterans who were doing relatively well was also a great source of help. As I sit here, some years later, acutely aware that we continue to send a great many people into combat, have a high rate of domestic violence and foster the creation of a culture which is increasingly diverse and increasingly an us – them society, I am aware of the following:
· Those in active combat situations with other individuals continue to experience a level of teamwork and closeness seldom found in neighborhood and work situations when they return home. Those involved in organized team sports may experience a similar level of closeness and teamwork.
· Those who survive traumatic situations relatively intact emotionally are those who (1) in the midst of a traumatic situations, without excessive use of alcohol or other drugs which would increase danger, are able to use time out moments to enjoy friendships, a letter from home, a sunset or sunrise tend to retain the ability to see both negative and positive when they return home and (2) those who return to a supportive family and a life which feels meaningful tend to fare better.
· Even men and women who hate combat miss the closeness one experiences with one’s teammates/unit. There is an enormous closeness even among men when one is in situations in which one is dependent on each other for survival.
· Some have suggested that when we men are in a role which is traditionally considered very masculine, we allow a level of affection and closeness with other men we do not otherwise allow. One’s masculinity cannot be questioned if one is fighting a war and engaging in a very tough physical, team sport such as football or hockey.
· In the United States and in many other places the sense of tribe or extended family is less present for most people. Living in a suburb where one uses a clicker to open and close a garage door before one enters the sanctity of one’s private home (with or without a nuclear family) which likely has a privacy hedge or fence insures that one does not have to deal with one’s neighbors (tribe).
· More and more individuals are taking advantage of being able to work from home where they may or may not be taking care of children. Our sense of a work-time tribe may be limited to those we see at the library or at our local connected coffee shop.
· We in the United States build more and more prisons which are not even administered by local, state or federal governments but by private firms. We fill these prisons with those we labels as criminals, them, the bad people, or the undesirable. The sense of tribe is very limited in this, dangerous, frightening environment.
· More and more children in the United States are homeschooled.
· We know that a sense of disconnection from the tribe/family/community/self/God of one’s understanding is a both a symptom of depression and something which can cause depression.
· One of the most common statements of someone who has become addicted to alcohol, drugs, sex, money, food, power or some other substance or activity is that they have never felt a part of a community/family/tribe.
· Out of sight, out of mind, seems to be a coping mechanism. Just this morning I was talking to a man who had just returned from a visit to Washington, DC with his brother. He remarked that he loved the fact that the city has been cleaned up and there are no homeless people in evidence. He seemed offended when I asked what had happened to the homeless in DC. He shrugged his shoulders and said, “Perhaps under the bridge.”
· Terrorist groups and some criminal gangs have both a strong sense of community and a strong sense of moral purpose.
· Fewer people are attending organized church services. The May 20,2016 edition of the Huffington Post reports that with some exceptions fewer than 20% of people in the United States regularly attend a religious service.
Mr. Junger in his most recent Ted talk states:
“Certainly, modern society is hard on the human psyche by every metric that we have. As wealth goes up in a society, the suicide rate goes up instead of down. If you live in modern society, you're up to eight times more likely to suffer from depression in your lifetime than if you live in a poor, agrarian society. Modern society has probably produced the highest rates of suicide and depression and anxiety and loneliness and child abuse ever in human history. I saw one study that compared women in Nigeria, one of the most chaotic and violent and corrupt and poorest countries in Africa, to women in North America. And the highest rates of depression were urban women in North America. That was also the wealthiest group. “
Certainly there are those humans who work better in isolation, whose brain may be missing the ability or need to be empathetic and, thus, the need or desire to be close with others – to be an active member of a tribe. Research in recently years indicates this may be the case with those on the autism spectrum. Most of us, however do better when:
· We are an active member of the community – a tribe.
· We recognize and honor the fact that we live in an interactional body and universe. We are interdependent. At one level everything we do and, thus, everything we do not do affects the entire universe.
· We will sink into depression with accompanying anger, violence, and disconnection or find ways of connection even if that connection is with a Third Reich or other terrorist group. (The Allies paid a high price for their treatment of the German people following World War I.)
A sense of “we” is essential for our survival. We cannot survive or thrive long term without restoring the tribe.
Written May 20, 2016
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