Welcome death?
For a number of reasons, including the fact that later today I will stop at the funeral home to pay my respects to the family of a man who was very kind to me when I first arrived in Wheeling, the fact that I was listening to this week’s conversation on On Being between host Krista Tippett and her guest, poet Christian Wiman, which included his thoughts on death once he began treatment for a very serious illness, a reminder of some of the gifts a young man is enjoying which very sadly have been possible because of the untimely death of both of his parents, and my thoughts about the fact that new possibilities always require a death. Oh yes, last evening I met with parents who have recently lost an adult son to addiction. We have, moreover, just said goodbye to 2017 and welcomed (or not) 2018. Obviously 2018 is only possible because of the death of 2017.
Unlike the years, which we mark off on a calendar, most deaths occur in a less predictable manner. Of course, I “know”, as I and my peer’s age we get closer to the end of this life journey. Still, every time I hear of the death of someone I know, I seem to be surprised. I have now had 77 ½ years to get used to the idea of death – death of plans, marriages, people, phases of education, jobs, abilities, things such as phones, appliances, cars and other things which can be replaced. I know that one day – perhaps today – I will face the fact that I am breathing my last few breaths. Perhaps I will be aware that I am dying or perhaps it will just happen. It is not as if I have not had time to prepare. When I was diagnosed with AIDS and told I probably would not live long, I was reminded that one could die at any age. I was only then 45. Obviously, I did not die although my life did change. Here I am 32 years later and again facing the fact that I and many of my peers will soon end this journey. Until that time arrives I will continue to face the death of things, phases of my life, and friends (including family members).
I know death is a constant companion on this life journey. Surely by the time one is my age, one has made peace with it. Yet, when I think of the possibility of certain deaths I often become very anxious and begin to ask, “What if this happens? What will I do? This will be terrible.” And so forth and so forth.
I know form experience – evidence based!
One could continue with this list and, thus, continue to reassure oneself that although one might not welcome death one will survive and, if one allows oneself, one will thrive.
Yet, at that moment when death arrives or when we are reminded of our own impending death …
Written January 5, 2018
For a number of reasons, including the fact that later today I will stop at the funeral home to pay my respects to the family of a man who was very kind to me when I first arrived in Wheeling, the fact that I was listening to this week’s conversation on On Being between host Krista Tippett and her guest, poet Christian Wiman, which included his thoughts on death once he began treatment for a very serious illness, a reminder of some of the gifts a young man is enjoying which very sadly have been possible because of the untimely death of both of his parents, and my thoughts about the fact that new possibilities always require a death. Oh yes, last evening I met with parents who have recently lost an adult son to addiction. We have, moreover, just said goodbye to 2017 and welcomed (or not) 2018. Obviously 2018 is only possible because of the death of 2017.
Unlike the years, which we mark off on a calendar, most deaths occur in a less predictable manner. Of course, I “know”, as I and my peer’s age we get closer to the end of this life journey. Still, every time I hear of the death of someone I know, I seem to be surprised. I have now had 77 ½ years to get used to the idea of death – death of plans, marriages, people, phases of education, jobs, abilities, things such as phones, appliances, cars and other things which can be replaced. I know that one day – perhaps today – I will face the fact that I am breathing my last few breaths. Perhaps I will be aware that I am dying or perhaps it will just happen. It is not as if I have not had time to prepare. When I was diagnosed with AIDS and told I probably would not live long, I was reminded that one could die at any age. I was only then 45. Obviously, I did not die although my life did change. Here I am 32 years later and again facing the fact that I and many of my peers will soon end this journey. Until that time arrives I will continue to face the death of things, phases of my life, and friends (including family members).
I know death is a constant companion on this life journey. Surely by the time one is my age, one has made peace with it. Yet, when I think of the possibility of certain deaths I often become very anxious and begin to ask, “What if this happens? What will I do? This will be terrible.” And so forth and so forth.
I know form experience – evidence based!
- Death always opens new doors.
- In a very strange way I do not quite understand or accept, all things work together for good.
- Control is always an illusion.
- I am a strong, capable person. I will deal with whatever comes my way.
- It is okay to feel sad while still moving forward.
- I can choose to focus on the blessings of what I had or the loss of what I had hoped for.
One could continue with this list and, thus, continue to reassure oneself that although one might not welcome death one will survive and, if one allows oneself, one will thrive.
Yet, at that moment when death arrives or when we are reminded of our own impending death …
Written January 5, 2018
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