Welcome
I have just come from a coining at the treatment program where I volunteer. The coining is the ceremony during which staff, clients, sponsors, family members and sometimes other members of the recovery community gather to congratulate a person who has completed a phase of recovery treatment. A coin is passed around in which each person present puts something in the coin such as love, patience, humility or some other quality or tool which the person needs to continue on their recovery journey. As is true for all graduations, it is a ceremony to welcome the person to the next step of their journey. It is also a reminder of two equally important truths:
Often the these two are in conflict with each other. None of us are an island. All of us need loving support and some practical help. We cannot do this journey alone. At the same time, from the time we are infants, we need to discover and practice using our own abilities. Of course, there is always danger in honoring the need to test the extent of our abilities. The infant learning to walk may fall a few times. We can make the space as safe as possible but sometimes the infant may fall and experience some minor injury. As that child grows the potential dangers increase. We parents may hold our breath, pray and issue a long list of safety reminders, but, at some point, our child needs to drive on their own even though there is a risk of a life-threatening accident. No matter what our particular path, each new step presents some physical, emotional, spiritual, or economic dangers. The parent, treatment professional, sponsor., spouse or friend of the addict or mentally ill person must:
Those supporting or helping the struggling addict or mentally ill person also need a “we” for support and to help make educated guess about how much to help and when to back off. Despite the many books on “co dependence” there are no clear lines between the two.
Welcome to the next step in recovery/healing.
Welcome to the journey of the addict or mentally ill person.
Welcome to the next step in the journey of loving, treating and supporting the addict or mentally ill person.
Written November 21, 2018
I have just come from a coining at the treatment program where I volunteer. The coining is the ceremony during which staff, clients, sponsors, family members and sometimes other members of the recovery community gather to congratulate a person who has completed a phase of recovery treatment. A coin is passed around in which each person present puts something in the coin such as love, patience, humility or some other quality or tool which the person needs to continue on their recovery journey. As is true for all graduations, it is a ceremony to welcome the person to the next step of their journey. It is also a reminder of two equally important truths:
- We all need emotional, spiritual and often practical support/help.
- We all need to claim our own abilities
Often the these two are in conflict with each other. None of us are an island. All of us need loving support and some practical help. We cannot do this journey alone. At the same time, from the time we are infants, we need to discover and practice using our own abilities. Of course, there is always danger in honoring the need to test the extent of our abilities. The infant learning to walk may fall a few times. We can make the space as safe as possible but sometimes the infant may fall and experience some minor injury. As that child grows the potential dangers increase. We parents may hold our breath, pray and issue a long list of safety reminders, but, at some point, our child needs to drive on their own even though there is a risk of a life-threatening accident. No matter what our particular path, each new step presents some physical, emotional, spiritual, or economic dangers. The parent, treatment professional, sponsor., spouse or friend of the addict or mentally ill person must:
- Not take behavior of the addict or mentally ill person personally.
- Love unconditionally even when the person does not experience it as love.
- Trust the ability of the person to do what they need to do.
- If there are solid reasons to suspect that the person is IMMEDIATELY homicidal, suicidal, otherwise about to harm someone, or neglect basic needs of a child then involuntary commitment needs to be initiated.
Those supporting or helping the struggling addict or mentally ill person also need a “we” for support and to help make educated guess about how much to help and when to back off. Despite the many books on “co dependence” there are no clear lines between the two.
Welcome to the next step in recovery/healing.
Welcome to the journey of the addict or mentally ill person.
Welcome to the next step in the journey of loving, treating and supporting the addict or mentally ill person.
Written November 21, 2018
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