What am I to learn?
For most of us humans focusing on what is wrong in the moment seems to come naturally. There are many individuals who seem justified in feeling as if they are drowning in bad luck, injustice or karma/sins of the ancestors. Those living in refugee camps; those stuck in prison for the sin of having mental illness including addiction; those fleeing poverty and violence sent back to their home country regardless of even their Covid-19 status; those who are without homes and living on the streets; those who cannot celebrate with others the life of their recently deceased loved ones; those in hospitals and nursing homes who cannot live their last days surrounded by loved ones have plenty to complain and be sad or even angry about. Yet, often it seems the ones who are living with no resources and multiple hardships are the ones who find it the easiest to find that silver lining.
Pema Chodron, the Buddhist nun writes about the times in her life when it felt as if she was losing all that was important to her only to later discover that it was at those times that she grew the most spiritually. Those in 12 step programs say that it is when individuals reach their bottom - when all has been lost or taken from one – that one begins their journey of spiritual growth. Last night I watched a move about a young athlete who after an accident and becoming paralyzed from the waist down discovers that letting go of the attachment to proving oneself allows one to begin to receive and give love.
I often think about the fact that if I changed one event in my past I would not be sitting here in my home office writing on my computer; would not have the friends I now have; wound not be living and working in West Virginia; would not be a parent to my son Jamie. In fact changing one event would start an entirely different chain of events – positive and negative.
On the one hand, I would like to think that I am capable of learning what I need to learn to grow spiritually and emotionally without being pinned again the wall feeling trapped and vulnerable. The truth is sometimes I will be sitting very peacefully and suddenly a lightbulb will turn on revealing some important knowledge about myself or the world. I may even pay attention and take a small step in this journey of spiritual growth. More often, however, it seems as if it is in times of acute stress; times which Pema Chödrön describes as falling apart that I learn the most.
A friend of mine some years ago gave me a small frame to hang on the wall which contains the words “The barn burned down. Now I can see the moon.”
The fact is, of course, the barn did burn down which requires one address multiple issues such as insurance claims (or worse no insurance), deceased animals who were trapped, machinery and feed to be replaced., and a host of other issues Yet for the first time I might see the moon.
I do not believe some divine being causes bad or positive things to happen. I do think that life shows up and I have the opportunity to learn and to grow. Barring illness which affects my ability to access a shared reality I have the choice of seeing and listening for what I need to learn or doing best imitation of Job; wringing my hands, tearing my clothes and crying “Woe is me. Woe is me.”
Written May 12, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
For most of us humans focusing on what is wrong in the moment seems to come naturally. There are many individuals who seem justified in feeling as if they are drowning in bad luck, injustice or karma/sins of the ancestors. Those living in refugee camps; those stuck in prison for the sin of having mental illness including addiction; those fleeing poverty and violence sent back to their home country regardless of even their Covid-19 status; those who are without homes and living on the streets; those who cannot celebrate with others the life of their recently deceased loved ones; those in hospitals and nursing homes who cannot live their last days surrounded by loved ones have plenty to complain and be sad or even angry about. Yet, often it seems the ones who are living with no resources and multiple hardships are the ones who find it the easiest to find that silver lining.
Pema Chodron, the Buddhist nun writes about the times in her life when it felt as if she was losing all that was important to her only to later discover that it was at those times that she grew the most spiritually. Those in 12 step programs say that it is when individuals reach their bottom - when all has been lost or taken from one – that one begins their journey of spiritual growth. Last night I watched a move about a young athlete who after an accident and becoming paralyzed from the waist down discovers that letting go of the attachment to proving oneself allows one to begin to receive and give love.
I often think about the fact that if I changed one event in my past I would not be sitting here in my home office writing on my computer; would not have the friends I now have; wound not be living and working in West Virginia; would not be a parent to my son Jamie. In fact changing one event would start an entirely different chain of events – positive and negative.
On the one hand, I would like to think that I am capable of learning what I need to learn to grow spiritually and emotionally without being pinned again the wall feeling trapped and vulnerable. The truth is sometimes I will be sitting very peacefully and suddenly a lightbulb will turn on revealing some important knowledge about myself or the world. I may even pay attention and take a small step in this journey of spiritual growth. More often, however, it seems as if it is in times of acute stress; times which Pema Chödrön describes as falling apart that I learn the most.
A friend of mine some years ago gave me a small frame to hang on the wall which contains the words “The barn burned down. Now I can see the moon.”
The fact is, of course, the barn did burn down which requires one address multiple issues such as insurance claims (or worse no insurance), deceased animals who were trapped, machinery and feed to be replaced., and a host of other issues Yet for the first time I might see the moon.
I do not believe some divine being causes bad or positive things to happen. I do think that life shows up and I have the opportunity to learn and to grow. Barring illness which affects my ability to access a shared reality I have the choice of seeing and listening for what I need to learn or doing best imitation of Job; wringing my hands, tearing my clothes and crying “Woe is me. Woe is me.”
Written May 12, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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