What was I thinking?
As is true for all of us, there have been many pivotal points in my life. One of these was the decision to enlist in the U.S. Navy when I graduated from high school. On the surface this decision was not consistent with my goals or what I wanted to achieve. Yet, this was also a time in my life when it seemed as if life happened to me.
Although I did well academically in high school I do not recall any teacher or family member suggesting that a way could be found for me to go to college. Everyone seemed to assume that I would work or join the military service. Although I had some female relatives on the paternal side of the family who had professional careers, no one in my immediate family had gone to college or talked about college. As it turned out I had cousins on my maternal side of the family who would go to college, but we weren’t emotionally or geographically close.
It was also a time in my life when I very much wanted to please my father which I did not feel as if I had done up to that point. My father was a brilliant, creative man who was always designing and making something. As the oldest male I was often his assigned helper. It seems as if this physically diminutive young man –me - whose daydreaming mind was not often present constantly failed to be the helper my father wanted or needed.
Signing up for the military service seemed to be the only available option. I enlisted in the U. S. Navy and then embarked on a diet of bananas and other food which would ensure that I could gain the pounds needed to meet the minimal weight. By September I was off to San Diego for basic training. We arrived in the middle of the night and some sadistic person decided that we would fill out forms, have our buck naked bodies examined in places no self-respecting digits should have gone and after an hour or so of sleep were marched to a mess hall which smelled as if someone had mistaken the compost for the food. Obviously, I did not belong there, but what was I was to do except endure the colorful language of the platoon leader who assured us that our position relative to the feces of dogs rated, at best, the compost pile or worse.
What in the world had I been thinking? What kept me from exploring college options on my own? I knew I wanted to attend and, yet, it did not occur to me to explore options. Certainly there was no internet to connect me to people who could have assured me that a way could be found.
Yet, that decision would take me on a journey which would leave a trail of blessings which included a marriage, an amazing son, college degrees including two graduate degrees, kind, wise people who would lead me on a dance to discover the magic of art, music, and, not seven wonders, but thousands of wonders which the combination of the human heart and mind can spawn.
When I think of this journey I am reminded that in a magical, mysterious way, “all things work together for good.” Indeed, all decisions are exactly the right decisions except when the decisions lead to pain to causing pain to others. Still, here I am exactly where I need to be.
Written November 13, 2016
Words 588
As is true for all of us, there have been many pivotal points in my life. One of these was the decision to enlist in the U.S. Navy when I graduated from high school. On the surface this decision was not consistent with my goals or what I wanted to achieve. Yet, this was also a time in my life when it seemed as if life happened to me.
Although I did well academically in high school I do not recall any teacher or family member suggesting that a way could be found for me to go to college. Everyone seemed to assume that I would work or join the military service. Although I had some female relatives on the paternal side of the family who had professional careers, no one in my immediate family had gone to college or talked about college. As it turned out I had cousins on my maternal side of the family who would go to college, but we weren’t emotionally or geographically close.
It was also a time in my life when I very much wanted to please my father which I did not feel as if I had done up to that point. My father was a brilliant, creative man who was always designing and making something. As the oldest male I was often his assigned helper. It seems as if this physically diminutive young man –me - whose daydreaming mind was not often present constantly failed to be the helper my father wanted or needed.
Signing up for the military service seemed to be the only available option. I enlisted in the U. S. Navy and then embarked on a diet of bananas and other food which would ensure that I could gain the pounds needed to meet the minimal weight. By September I was off to San Diego for basic training. We arrived in the middle of the night and some sadistic person decided that we would fill out forms, have our buck naked bodies examined in places no self-respecting digits should have gone and after an hour or so of sleep were marched to a mess hall which smelled as if someone had mistaken the compost for the food. Obviously, I did not belong there, but what was I was to do except endure the colorful language of the platoon leader who assured us that our position relative to the feces of dogs rated, at best, the compost pile or worse.
What in the world had I been thinking? What kept me from exploring college options on my own? I knew I wanted to attend and, yet, it did not occur to me to explore options. Certainly there was no internet to connect me to people who could have assured me that a way could be found.
Yet, that decision would take me on a journey which would leave a trail of blessings which included a marriage, an amazing son, college degrees including two graduate degrees, kind, wise people who would lead me on a dance to discover the magic of art, music, and, not seven wonders, but thousands of wonders which the combination of the human heart and mind can spawn.
When I think of this journey I am reminded that in a magical, mysterious way, “all things work together for good.” Indeed, all decisions are exactly the right decisions except when the decisions lead to pain to causing pain to others. Still, here I am exactly where I need to be.
Written November 13, 2016
Words 588
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