Who am I? Who are you?
Often I am eager to partake of the wisdom which has been noted or recorded in a podcast, Ted Talks or on Storycorps. In the midst of political turmoil, mass shootings, war, and tweets I especially appreciate stories which focus on the best of who we are as humans. Recently, I stumbled on the story of Brian Peterson and Matt Faris as recorded on Storycorps. Brian, on the surface, is an person who works for a living in Santa Ana California. Matt, on the surface, is a homeless person who would often sit outside of Brian’s apartment building. One day Brain made a decision to “see” Matt. This decision led to a painting of Matt by Brain, the proceeds of which would make possible the recording of a CD by Matt. Just as important, it led to a rich friendship. Brian had not painted in 8 years. He says that Matt “captured my heart and gave me a subject to paint? He saw “not the homeless man but the musicians who had moved to California from Kentucky to pursue a career in music.” (One can google Storycorps Brian Peterson, Matt Faris and see a photograph of the painting.)
I suggested to a client this afternoon that every morning she look in the mirror and ask herself, “Who am I?” She is not her anxiety, her job, her gender, her IQ or even her physical beauty. As are all of us, she is many people trapped in one body. We discussed the fact that often when an actor plays a role he or she accesses a part of themselves which they may not allow on the stage of their everyday life. All of us behave and think differently when we are in different roles. The woman with whom I was talking is aware that she behaves differently at work than she does at home. It is as if she leaves that strong, assertive, confident woman in the desk drawer. Yet, she “knows” that is not the case. She has unconsciously fed the habit of allowing the anxiety to keep her home self smaller and less assertive than her work self. When she is in her aunt role she is another self. She is an adventuresome, playful self.
It is easy for many of us to fall into the trap of believing we and others are defined by a limited set of characteristics, appearance, or defining, limited labels or roles.
Our beliefs determine our thoughts which then determine how much of our physical bodies functions. Many people have observed that often a person who is living their last days appear and act much healthier than they had for some time. Once they have let go of the fight to live their body may be free to allow themselves to actually live.
Obviously, it is true that all of us have a limited life span. It is also true that our mind will not allow a 5’5” frame to suddenly morph into a 7’ frame. Not all of us can be have a voice like Beverly Sills or Sam Smith. Yet, we are all more than any particular role or label. Our beliefs and thoughts are, as Dwayne Dyer and other have suggested, more powerful in determining our health and our life path than most of we adults allow. Our beliefs about others also determines, in large measure, who we see and experience. Perhaps we can ask each morning, “Who do I want to be today? Who are you or who might you be today?”
Written November 8, 2017
Often I am eager to partake of the wisdom which has been noted or recorded in a podcast, Ted Talks or on Storycorps. In the midst of political turmoil, mass shootings, war, and tweets I especially appreciate stories which focus on the best of who we are as humans. Recently, I stumbled on the story of Brian Peterson and Matt Faris as recorded on Storycorps. Brian, on the surface, is an person who works for a living in Santa Ana California. Matt, on the surface, is a homeless person who would often sit outside of Brian’s apartment building. One day Brain made a decision to “see” Matt. This decision led to a painting of Matt by Brain, the proceeds of which would make possible the recording of a CD by Matt. Just as important, it led to a rich friendship. Brian had not painted in 8 years. He says that Matt “captured my heart and gave me a subject to paint? He saw “not the homeless man but the musicians who had moved to California from Kentucky to pursue a career in music.” (One can google Storycorps Brian Peterson, Matt Faris and see a photograph of the painting.)
I suggested to a client this afternoon that every morning she look in the mirror and ask herself, “Who am I?” She is not her anxiety, her job, her gender, her IQ or even her physical beauty. As are all of us, she is many people trapped in one body. We discussed the fact that often when an actor plays a role he or she accesses a part of themselves which they may not allow on the stage of their everyday life. All of us behave and think differently when we are in different roles. The woman with whom I was talking is aware that she behaves differently at work than she does at home. It is as if she leaves that strong, assertive, confident woman in the desk drawer. Yet, she “knows” that is not the case. She has unconsciously fed the habit of allowing the anxiety to keep her home self smaller and less assertive than her work self. When she is in her aunt role she is another self. She is an adventuresome, playful self.
It is easy for many of us to fall into the trap of believing we and others are defined by a limited set of characteristics, appearance, or defining, limited labels or roles.
Our beliefs determine our thoughts which then determine how much of our physical bodies functions. Many people have observed that often a person who is living their last days appear and act much healthier than they had for some time. Once they have let go of the fight to live their body may be free to allow themselves to actually live.
Obviously, it is true that all of us have a limited life span. It is also true that our mind will not allow a 5’5” frame to suddenly morph into a 7’ frame. Not all of us can be have a voice like Beverly Sills or Sam Smith. Yet, we are all more than any particular role or label. Our beliefs and thoughts are, as Dwayne Dyer and other have suggested, more powerful in determining our health and our life path than most of we adults allow. Our beliefs about others also determines, in large measure, who we see and experience. Perhaps we can ask each morning, “Who do I want to be today? Who are you or who might you be today?”
Written November 8, 2017
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