Who is listening?
I have been sharing the healing journey of individuals, families and organizations for nearly 50 years and I have not yet learned how to know how well I listened and if I “heard” what was essential or important. Often those who I think are making great strides in returning themselves to themselves are the ones who may suddenly quit coming and then experience a setback which may for some ends in death. On the other hand, those who I fear are not moving forward in their journey often end up being the strongest and healthiest role models in their community. I never know whether I have done or said anything which was helpful. Occasionally I get a note, a phone call or an email informing me that something I said or did - perhaps something I did not say or do - was the one word or statement which connected the dots for a person, couple or organization. Yesterday I received an email from someone I saw in 2012. Today he has achieved goals he did not think possible including his dream job and his dream partner.
This morning I replied to a long email form a person who indicated that nothing I have been saying or doing is lessening their pain. Not only does this person have the pain she had the first time we communicated, but she now has the pain of feeling she has not been heard by me. Right after that I had a text from someone who assured me that many years ago when she was feeling unheard and was also a very angry person another part of her brain was registering an alternative reality which I had suggested she consider. I had no way of knowing this.
Soon it will be spring here in Wheeling, WV and I will plant seeds and some young plants. Some will survive and some will not. I will have no way of knowing which was which. I will not be able to take any credit or blame if I carefully do my part in correctly planting each according to directions. This is equally true of all the people I will encounter today and the days to follow. Whether it is seeing individuals in my professional role, making an effort to leave a smile with a store clerk, playing it forward with the person behind me in the line at the grocery store or telling a parent who is caring for children what a good job he or she is doing, I never know what a difference it makes. Likewise when I get self-absorbed and do none of those actions, I have no idea of what negative impact that had on others and all those with whom he or she interacts.
It is not my place or job to know how much difference – positive or negative – I will make in the lives of all those I encounter today. It is my place or my job to be very intentional about listening with love and acting with love with all I encounter. I am responsible for planting seeds, watering them, keeping the weeds from taking all the nutrients and doing what I can to protect them.
Written April 24, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org\
I have been sharing the healing journey of individuals, families and organizations for nearly 50 years and I have not yet learned how to know how well I listened and if I “heard” what was essential or important. Often those who I think are making great strides in returning themselves to themselves are the ones who may suddenly quit coming and then experience a setback which may for some ends in death. On the other hand, those who I fear are not moving forward in their journey often end up being the strongest and healthiest role models in their community. I never know whether I have done or said anything which was helpful. Occasionally I get a note, a phone call or an email informing me that something I said or did - perhaps something I did not say or do - was the one word or statement which connected the dots for a person, couple or organization. Yesterday I received an email from someone I saw in 2012. Today he has achieved goals he did not think possible including his dream job and his dream partner.
This morning I replied to a long email form a person who indicated that nothing I have been saying or doing is lessening their pain. Not only does this person have the pain she had the first time we communicated, but she now has the pain of feeling she has not been heard by me. Right after that I had a text from someone who assured me that many years ago when she was feeling unheard and was also a very angry person another part of her brain was registering an alternative reality which I had suggested she consider. I had no way of knowing this.
Soon it will be spring here in Wheeling, WV and I will plant seeds and some young plants. Some will survive and some will not. I will have no way of knowing which was which. I will not be able to take any credit or blame if I carefully do my part in correctly planting each according to directions. This is equally true of all the people I will encounter today and the days to follow. Whether it is seeing individuals in my professional role, making an effort to leave a smile with a store clerk, playing it forward with the person behind me in the line at the grocery store or telling a parent who is caring for children what a good job he or she is doing, I never know what a difference it makes. Likewise when I get self-absorbed and do none of those actions, I have no idea of what negative impact that had on others and all those with whom he or she interacts.
It is not my place or job to know how much difference – positive or negative – I will make in the lives of all those I encounter today. It is my place or my job to be very intentional about listening with love and acting with love with all I encounter. I am responsible for planting seeds, watering them, keeping the weeds from taking all the nutrients and doing what I can to protect them.
Written April 24, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org\
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