Would you explain that please?
I am fascinated by the spoken and written language. I am acutely aware that I frequently use the same word to describe my thoughts, feelings or opinions about people, places and objects. For example, I say:
What is I am hoping to convey by using the word love in all of these contexts? Does the seemingly indiscriminate use of the word diminish its power and meaning? Surely my love for my son is not the same as my love for my MacBook or a particular meal.
Both give me pleasure, but I could easily buy a new MacBook if necessary without any enormous sense of grief over the loss of my old one. I would grieve the loss of my son for the rest of my life.
I suspect that there are many words I and others use which do not communicate anything helpful, which are used to deflect what I am feeling or which allow me to pretend to know what is going on. One common example is the word lazy. In fact, I just heard someone described as lazy.
It seemed that this word was intended to convey a character defect in the person about whom it was used. Yet, what does the word mean? Oxford dictionary defines lazy as:
I often work with/for those struggling to reclaim their lives from the disease of active addiction. If a person does not do the work recommended by their counselor or sponsor, one might describe that person as lazy. What is meant by that? Why are they unwilling or unable to follow directions and trust that the work will pay off? What has happened in this life to lose faith in what adults tell them? Are they one of those bright, talented people who have never had to work at learning or accomplishing something? What do I need to do differently to help them trust that doing X will lead to positive result Y?
A very good man I know frequently does not notice many of the home maintenance items which his partner notices. His partner sees that tasks X through Z need to be done now. He is not purposely ignoring them. He simply does not see them and often, even if he notices them, he does not believe they need to be put on the urgent list. She sometimes thinks of him as lazy even though he works as hard as she does at a professional, demanding job, helps to take care of an aged mother and often helps other extended family members. He does do a number of home chores. I do not think of him as lazy. It is true that since that they are going to continue to be married and live together they have to agree on how to effectively balance their time and energy. Some tasks obviously will not get done. He may never have her eye which notices every detail and she may never have his eye which does not notice every detail. Neither are wrong, bad or lazy.
I and many others often use words which sound like an accurate description, assessment or diagnosis, but which, in fact are vague and communicate very little which is helpful or accurate.
I commit to being more intentional about what it is I hope to communicate by my choice of words.
Written April 18, 2018
I am fascinated by the spoken and written language. I am acutely aware that I frequently use the same word to describe my thoughts, feelings or opinions about people, places and objects. For example, I say:
- I love that meal.
- I love that outfit.
- I love my home.
- I love my son.
- I love riding my bike.
- I love my MacBook.
What is I am hoping to convey by using the word love in all of these contexts? Does the seemingly indiscriminate use of the word diminish its power and meaning? Surely my love for my son is not the same as my love for my MacBook or a particular meal.
Both give me pleasure, but I could easily buy a new MacBook if necessary without any enormous sense of grief over the loss of my old one. I would grieve the loss of my son for the rest of my life.
I suspect that there are many words I and others use which do not communicate anything helpful, which are used to deflect what I am feeling or which allow me to pretend to know what is going on. One common example is the word lazy. In fact, I just heard someone described as lazy.
It seemed that this word was intended to convey a character defect in the person about whom it was used. Yet, what does the word mean? Oxford dictionary defines lazy as:
- Unwilling to work or use energy
- Characterized by lack of effort or activity
I often work with/for those struggling to reclaim their lives from the disease of active addiction. If a person does not do the work recommended by their counselor or sponsor, one might describe that person as lazy. What is meant by that? Why are they unwilling or unable to follow directions and trust that the work will pay off? What has happened in this life to lose faith in what adults tell them? Are they one of those bright, talented people who have never had to work at learning or accomplishing something? What do I need to do differently to help them trust that doing X will lead to positive result Y?
A very good man I know frequently does not notice many of the home maintenance items which his partner notices. His partner sees that tasks X through Z need to be done now. He is not purposely ignoring them. He simply does not see them and often, even if he notices them, he does not believe they need to be put on the urgent list. She sometimes thinks of him as lazy even though he works as hard as she does at a professional, demanding job, helps to take care of an aged mother and often helps other extended family members. He does do a number of home chores. I do not think of him as lazy. It is true that since that they are going to continue to be married and live together they have to agree on how to effectively balance their time and energy. Some tasks obviously will not get done. He may never have her eye which notices every detail and she may never have his eye which does not notice every detail. Neither are wrong, bad or lazy.
I and many others often use words which sound like an accurate description, assessment or diagnosis, but which, in fact are vague and communicate very little which is helpful or accurate.
I commit to being more intentional about what it is I hope to communicate by my choice of words.
Written April 18, 2018
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