​A master of tautologies
 
This morning I am reminded of some of my logic classes  when I was  getting a degree in philosophy.  There is doom and gloom or elation and bully threats regarding Mr. Trumps continued popularity with a certain, large segment of the U. S. Population.   Mr. Trump is alleged to have said if the party tries to block him,  “You’d have riots.” (Associated Press article by Julie Pace and Steve Peoples entitled “Trump’s warning to “GOP: Rally around me or expect riots.” In Tampa Tribune, March 17, 2016 p 8).  Opposition to Trump and his supporters is being labeled as opposition to free speech. If I understand the crux of their argument, free speech is the right to call anyone who is non-white, non-Christian, non-male, non-heterosexual derogatory names and to suggest that they should not object  to being bullied.   Free speech is also the right to make such statements which directly or indirectly advocate a violent response to anyone who objects to bullying behavior.    
 
It seems as the supporters of Mr. Trump have a different understanding of free speech than I do. Apparently free speech would entitle any school kid to tell their teacher and classmate to get out my f…king face. 
 
It is also interesting that so many evangelical Christians are such avid supporters of Mr. Trump.   I do understand that there are many who label themselves as Christians who sincerely believe that God is an angry, Old Testament vengeful God, that feminist views are an anathema to the God of their understanding, that homosexuality would offend the God of their understanding, and that  the God of their understanding cannot accept a Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist or other framework for spirituality.    I have no idea what they do with such new Testament passages as I Corinthians.   Actually that is not true.  I do understand that many are able to take such passages which advocate unconditional love and restrict it to that relatively small group of people who fit into the framework outlined above.      My understanding of the teachings of Jesus is much different.  My understanding is that Jesus, just like Allah, and the Buddha was very inclusive.  
 
Marks and Engels who, when writing the Communist Manifesto, redefined when someone became humans and  thus, limited who was deserving of respect and equal access to the benefits of a society.  Hitler limited his understanding of the Chosen ones.    I also understand that different groups within the Jewish religious umbrella understand the concept of the Chosen people differently than I do.   Individuals such as the Nazi doctors who are chronicled by the author Jay Lipton understand getting rid of all the groups of people in the death camps the same as amputating limbs so a body can live.    In short, I am well aware that we humans have gone to great lengths to assuage our basic fear that we have to somehow make ourselves special in order to be worthwhile.  For many religious individuals it is not conceivable  that the God of one’s understanding can love and value all of life, including all humans, equally and completely.
 
On the one hand  it takes a very skilled person to make this an argument about free speech.  To many it will feel, as it does for my friend Cheryl, reminiscent of being with a dysfunctional, often alcoholic family or group of  dysfunctional people.   In such a family one says that “The furnace is off”  and someone  says,  “You have on the wrong shoes”  as if the shoes one is wearing has something to do with the furnace.   One is not related to the other.  Philosophers and others who studied logic often talk the fallacy of tautologies .  An example of a tautology is, “The red wagon is red.”  The statement is obviously a true statement.  Of course, all red wagons are red.  What other color would red wagons be.  In other words a tautology is making a true statement which does not add to one’s knowledge,  but if one  states it in a very assertive, important way it will sound as if it has meaning.    If one says that FREE SPEECH IS FREE SPEECH  then one has not said anything.  If one says that the constitution and  laws of the United States restrict the use of free speech, it is accurate.  The example which is commonly used is that one does not have the legal right to go into a crowded theater and scream fire when there is no fire.  There  would be panic and many people might die as a result.  If there is a fire the theater managers might announce very calmly that they need to check  something and that they are going to help the audience make an orderly exit, row by row, from the theater. That would be responsible behavior unrelated to the issue of free speech.
 
If  someone says that  “Most terrorists have been Muslim; we must keep out all Muslims”  it might seem at first to some people that this is a logical statement.  What is wrong with it logically?  While it is true that some Muslims are terrorists it is not true that all  Muslims are terrorists. It is also not true that all terrorists are coming into the country illegally.  Some are United States citizens who live  within the borders of the United States.  It is true that some Christians are members of the Ku Klux Klan.  It does not follow that all Christians are members of the Ku Klux Klan
 
Mr. Trump and many of his supporters are very talented in appearing to say something without saying anything.  If his statements are called into question he turns it around in a way which makes it difficult to debate or argue.   He does this with the violence. He makes statements about wanting to be violent and then he says that the other side is responsible for the violence. It is very accurate that no one can make me a commit a violent act.  The protesters who are violent are responsible for their violence.   That is a  true statement. It is also true that leaders have the responsibility to lead by examples.  Mr. Trump never or seldom addresses the fact that he advocates violence.   He instead responds with a true statement that has nothing to do with the question.  He gets an A grade in “crazy making” and the use of tautologies.   Thus he can say that, “THE RED WAGON IS RED”  with the voice of a rabbi, priest, or prophet coming down off the mountain from a face-to-face meeting with the God of his understanding.   It is as if, “I have just come from God and he/she/it says,  The Red wagon is red.”  Sensible people do not argue with God or try question the logic of God.
 
Newsflash.   I am not convinced that Mr. Trump is the new prophet.  I am not convinced that being a master of tautologies should be the primary qualification for the leader of a country. I am not convinced that “crazy making” will make the most effective tool of diplomacy. On the other hand, perhaps I am wrong and all we need to do is to build a larger version of Guantanamo Bay staffed by psychiatrists who are willing to just keep all the world leaders, except Mr. Trump, effectively drugged so that they do not experience such confusion and emotional discomfort from the experience of dealing with Mr. Trump. Perhaps we could label the new illness as Trumpism or Tautological Syndrome.
 
Since I am writing on St. Patrick’s Day I must acknowledge the assistance of the leprechauns since the muse seemed to be on break this morning.  
 
Written  March 17, 2016
 

​The  unreasonable invitation?
 
The morning following super Tuesday in the United States 2016 presidential primary election I was listening to a Ted talk by Zak Ebrahim entitled “I am the son of a  terrorist.  Here’s how I choose peace.”. There is also a Ted book entitled:  A Terrorist Son: A story of choice.”     For obvious reasons he has changed his name.  No one would want to have to respond to people as the son of a terrorist who was responsible for extremist views and actions which resulted in the death of many.
 
Of course it is wonderful that his very bright, well-spoken man was able to open his mind and heart to the possibility that the God of his understanding did not create him essentially any different than those who are Jewish, those who are members of the GLBT community, or  others that he was brought up to believe were enemies of  the God of his father’s understanding.  I cannot help but wonder what allowed him to open his heart and mind to getting to know those who he has been taught to hate because their beliefs and actions did not please the God of his father’s understanding.    We know that once any of us opens our mind and hearts to experience the shared humanness of others that it is difficult to hold on to judgment and hatred.  Yet, many are seem unable to take that first step.
 
Although this question has haunted me for as long as I can remember, I have been particularly cognizant of this question this election period in the United States. I have usually had some fairly strong or even strong preferences for particular candidates or some particularly strong negatives about a particular candidate,  I am having a difficult time remembering  having such a strong, negative feeling as I have towards the candidacy of one particular person.  I find myself thinking unkind thoughts, predicting dire consequences should he be elected president, and struggling to identify any shared humanness with him.  Although I have previously had strong moments of  fear or even anger towards some individuals I perceived or experienced as bullies,  I cannot recall having such consistent, long term feelings of disgust. Even before I was pressed by the media to think about the issues of Mr. Trump having a penis much less the size of it, I had to fight the gag reflex every time I heard his name. I know, of course, that the bully is an essentially lonely, fearful person who has to constantly attempt to prove his or her worth.  I can almost always call up an image of holding my infant son in my arms as we took him home from the hospital and imagine that the bully I am tempted to discount was once such a small, innocent child who was easy to love. I know that the same bully was easy to love as an infant  unless he or she had a diagnosis such as autism or some other brain dysfunction.
 
I also know what it is like to attach oneself to a very conservative religious group who promises  that if one fits oneself into this tiny little, behavioral box God and all His/her servants will one day be proud of you and welcome you home to the heavy room He/She has prepared for you. The rent on this room will be paid for eternity. Even though one “knows” that one has sinful thoughts and feelings if one does not act upon them one will be loved.  When one feels underserving, unloved, and disconnected that is a powerful promise.  I was that young teenager and then a young man who was baptized and washed clean by the blood of Jesus.  The arms of the congregants were open to embrace this poor sinner. I patiently waited for the sinful thoughts and desires to finish the wash cycle.  It never happened. I “knew” that I was not a “true” or “absolute” believer and that I would never fit in.   Fortunately the bully religious group of which I was a member did not require proof of one’s sincerity by becoming a suicide bomber. It did often require judgments of others who were not like us. Sometimes the judgment was “merely” pretentious, patronizing pity.   One did not call one’s behavior hatred or consider that it might drive others to suicide because we had consciously or unconsciously affirmed that the sinner whose repentance was obviously not truly sincere was not deserving of God’s love.
 
The distance between the judgmental religious group to which I tried desperately to belong, the extremist groups who lynch in the name of the God of their understanding, and the groups which convince true believers to become true martyrs as they strap on the bomb, carry them onto airplanes, drive them to a crowd of people, publicly behead the infidels – this distance is very narrow.   While it may be comforting to think that self- righteous judgment is different than encouraging the terrorist or the suicide bomber martyr,  it seems to me that the truth is that hatred is taught on a continuum. Teaching a little bit of hatred and calling it concern for the sinner is like becoming a little bit pregnant. 
 
We are not going to defeat the terrorist or the extremist bully by inviting them to a more fluffy version of hatred.   I am not going to be able to justify a limited version of inclusiveness or unconditional love.   
 
Certainly, if the Jewish person, the gay person, or the others who opened their arms and hearts to Mr. Ebrahim had said to him, “Your father is a terrorist. He is a Muslim.  You are a Muslim. You are not worthy of love”  he would not have learned that those “others” were the same as him and “the others” would not have learned that he was the same as him.   
 
The challenge for me if I truly want to do my part to create a less frightening, less hateful world is to open my heart to Mr. Ebrahim’s father, and to that presidential candidate who mirrors an unattractive part of me. As I understand it, this was the challenge or the invitation of the Buddha, Jesus, Mother Teresa,  Gandhi, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and many other spiritual leaders.  It was an invitation to love even those as unlovable as this writer.
 
 
Written March 16, 2016
 

​The guests have arrived!
 
Every day I receive a number of email notices, various news letters or on line publications. Some of them would be considered politically liberal and some would be considered politically conservative.  Some of those which are politically liberal might be very economically conservative.  Many, in other words, discuss the issues on an issue by issue basis.   During this past year or so, especially  since the beginning of the presidential primary election campaign in the United States, I  have received even more of these. I do not, of course, read them all since I also get spiritual newsletters and reminders, notices on new books, and  many personal notes and/or comments about my blogs. Obviously there is just too much information to read and assimilate each day.  As with all of us, I am a person who has some very particular concerns and interests.   Currently, I am particularly cognizant of the following:
 
      The extremism which is based in very narrow religious beliefs.
      The enormous growth of spiritual practices in the world in the past few years.  By this I am talking about the number of individuals who seem very intentional in thinking about their spiritual beliefs rather than just adopting those of their immediate family or community.
      The yin and yang of greater oppression based on race, sexual preference, age, and gender alongside of the more acceptance of the richness that each of us brings to the table.
      The role that children/young people play in the lives of the elders of the community whether that be in the board room, the classroom, the religious institutions or other venues.
 
Recently, on March 10, 2016, President Barack Obama and First lady Michelle Obama hosted a state dinner to honor Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and his wife Sophie Gregoire-Trudeau.  The elegance and  grace which accompanied this event may have brought to  mind to some of we elders the youthful President Kennedy, his wife  Jackie and their children Caroline and John Jr..  The presence of the 14 year old  and 17 year old Obama daughters, Malia and Sasha, clearly reminded Mr. Trudeau of his own childhood when his father was prime minister of Canada.  Prime Minister Trudeau seemed delighted by their presence and with the gathering which the President, his wife and, of course the White House staff had organized.  
 
I was very interested in the public reaction to this event.  Some of the reaction seem to focus  on:
 
      The poise and elegance of these two beautiful young women.
      The fact that they were wearing designer gowns which cost $19,000.00 and $17,000.00 respectively.  It was not reported whether these gowns were on loan, a gift, personally paid for by  the taxpayers of the United States or by the President and his wife.  Sadly, many assumed that they were just another lavish expense by a government official. 
      The fact that guests were expected to sit and converse with children.
      Some veiled and not so veiled racist comments which, sadly have persisted during the Presidency of President Obama.  It is interesting that on Saturday, the 12th of March, two days following the state dinner and one day after the violence which erupted at a political event in Chicago, the following occurred:
“The exchange was captured on Saturday. A male voice is heard saying: “Typical f—–‘ n—–.” Later in the exchange, another voice is heard saying, “Black lives matter, [unintelligible], f—–, n——.”
Chicago police spokesman Anthony Guglielmi said an investigation is underway to determine the origin of the comment.
“This morning, CPD was made aware of inappropriate transmission on a police frequency,” Guglielmi said in a statement.
A spokeswoman for the Office of Emergency Management and Communications says OEMC officials have reviewed the audio and don’t believe a city-programmed radio was used because the audio lacks the identifying characteristics of an official police radio…”(Chicago.cbs.local.com)
 
Sadly, it does not take much of an internet search on any given day to locate racial statements about President Obama.  Although I do not believe that racism is a part of the core values of the majority of individuals in the United States, I do believe that for many of we humans it is easy to respond to our fear by discounting other individuals and groups.  I also believe that the campaigns of all the presidential candidates have, to a more or lesser extent, attempted to capitalize on the fear of many of we voters in the United States.   If our fear can be channeled to anger and even rage at other people or groups based on race, religious beliefs, age, sexual orientation or we can avoid dealing with our fear  of not being successful enough, a good provider, a worthwhile community  member or whatever  we may be convinced to vote for a particular candidate.   If someone else is always to blame – a black president, a child, an “illegal,” a religions group, or those representing a faction of a political party it can be temporarily comforting.
 
Personally I think I would have found the conversation at the State Dinner very invigorating.  I think celebratory events honoring guests can be very important.  Whether the venue is a Texas barbeque, an informal evening at Camp David, a gathering at a church hall, or a quickly prepared omelet at my house when honored guests unexpectedly stop by – an old friend, a person who may have first met as a client, a colleague, a homeless person who has been told I would feed them, or the teenagers – these gatherings are important rituals.   If one does not want to stand out in a negative way, each venue will call for a certain costume.  I do have many costumes in my closet including jeans and cowboy boots, a tuxedo with appropriate shirts, cummerbunds, ties and shoes, shorts and tee shirts and others.   Although I am not convinced that the Obama daughters needed to wear such expensive costumes  if I was a designer I would certainly give or loan gowns to them for such an occasion and charge it off to marketing knowing it was a bargain in marketing terms.
 
Once appropriately costumed I would hope that I could be seated  next to one of the stimulating guests.  Without knowing the complete guest list, I would have most enjoyed sitting next to the Obama daughters, the Prime Minister and his wife  (I don’t think their young children were in attendance), or the Obamas.    If I had to make a choice I  probably would have chosen the Obama daughters, Malia and Sasha.   My experience is, as my conversation with my six-year old and twelve-year old adopted niece and nephew often reveal, is that they are the individuals with whom I often have the most stimulating conversations. Yes, I know. There are those times with both adults and children/teenager are not very communicative. I have spent more than one evening with adults or children who have been more engrossed in their book, newspaper or smart phone than in a conversation with me.   There have been times when kids and some adults who were more communicative in text messages than they were in person.  Still, I know that if we adults are serious about leaving a safer, kinder world for our children, we need to talk to our children.
 
The other group of people  from whom I have the most to learn are those whose fears and habits lead to opinions and even behavior which I personally find difficult to accept. This means that I need to spend a lot of time listening to those who make racist statements, to those who are fearful of those with religious beliefs which are different than mine, to those who support political candidates with who I strongly disagree, to those political candidates with whom I have the most disagreement.   
 
When Margaret Hefferman is doing training of the staff of an organization, she might invite individuals to make the presentation for the person with whom they have the strongest disagreement or whose expertise is totally different. In some respects it may sound like the high school or college debating team.   If I am forced to thoughtfully examine an opinion other than my own I will learn something. Always.  I am not suggesting that I find this comfortable or easy.   Sometimes I have to expend a lot of effort to quiet my loud mind which is internally shouting, “That opinion or position is stupid, immoral, or unkind.”   Oh my!    It is not always easy to quiet that part of my mind and as I age it does not get easier
 
The bottom line is that I can criticize and hurl arrogant sound bites to and about those with whom I disagree or I can learn to listen to their fears and hearts.   I know fear. I can empathize with fear. I might disagree with their analysis of what is causing their fear, but I can easily identify with and love the person who is fearful.
 
I can also hold on to my belief that we can celebrate the enormous growth of spiritual presence.
 
I may not get invited to a state dinner anytime soon or ever but I will have many opportunities to prepare a feast who all who stop by  to share this life journey.  With silver, good china, paper plates or West Virginia Fiestaware dishes, we will kill the fatted calf and celebrate the fact that we are all family.
 
Written march 15, 2016

The gift of uncertainty 
 
It is fascinating to me that so often I will read or hear something; I will then  think about it.  Then it seems as if that same theme confronts me at every turn.  Such has been the case with the subject of doubt or uncertainty.  Recently,  I have been reading Margaret Hefferman’s book, Beyond Measure,   As a former CEO, consultant and trainer for businesses, she often talks about the need to encourage all the members of the organization to ask questions, to be able to debate or argue the position of others in the company, and to focus on identifying what does not work and then problem solve as a team.   Casey Gerald in a Ted Talk about his history of buying into the predictions, fears or dreams of others rather than questioning  them  which often leads to disappointment or a sense of hopelessness.  This man who, at age 12,  believed in the prediction that Jesus would return for the rapture in the year 2000, in the success that a Yale undergraduate degree or a Harvard MBA would bring, and in the salve of the “right” philanthropic organization says:
 
“And this doubt, it fuels me, it gives me hope that when our troubles overwhelm us, when the paths laid out for us seem to lead to our demise, when our healers bring no comfort to our wounds, it will not be our blind faith -- no, it will be our humble doubt that shines a little light into the darkness of our lives and of our world and lets us raise our voice to whisper or to shout or to say simply, very simply, "There must be another way."
 
I also read an article in Slate for which very talented writers such as Chris Kirk writes.  One of his articles is entitled “In defense of American calling the U. S. “America.”   In this article, as the title suggests, he very eloquently and, at times, amusingly, defends the use of the term America to refer to the United Sates even though the term was originally coined to refer to the continent of America of which the now United States is but one country.  He reminds us that, “But John Adams used “America” to mean the “U.S.” in his first inaugural address, well before the nation emerged as a world power.”   He also points how awkward it would sound in many instances including in such songs as “American the Beautiful” to  use the term United States or to use another term.  He offers the following:
“The more pressing question is this: If Americans are supposed to drop the “America” from the vernacular, what should Americans call themselves if not “Americans?” The solution that always seems to come up is “United Statesian.” Are you kidding me? “Statesian” sounds like parseltongue, raises haunting memories of my fourth-grade lisp,…”
 
He is suggesting that Canadians, Mexicans, Central and South Americans just get over it if they are offended and hear the use of America to refer to the United States as arrogant and imperialistic.   
 
Rather than listening with empathy to the concerns of other American nations, Mr. Kirk puts the responsibility back on those who are offended. 
 
So too, those who question whether we in the United States have encouraged citizens of all ages to question the content of the so called, “American (United States) dream” are basically told to work harder, get rid of those who suggest that the sacred beliefs that (1) material riches come to those who work the hardest and who are thus the most deserving and (2) material riches are the apex of success have been called “Un-American (meaning United States like) and other derogatory names.
 
Lawrence Samuels has argued (quoted in an entry in Wikipedia on The American Dream) that:
 
“For many in both the working class and the middle class, upward mobility has served as the heart and soul of the American Dream, the prospect of "betterment" and to "improve one's lot" for oneself and one's children much of what this country is all about. "Work hard, save a little, send the kids to college so they can do better than you did, and retire happily to a warmer climate" has been the script we have all been handed.”
 
In the current political climate of the United States if one suggests that our goal as a country should be to question our role in the world, what we want to teach the kids about success, what our role in creating the extremists of the world has been or how the arrogance of the conservative Christian movement is similar to that of other extremists groups, even if less violent,  one can be silenced with a variety of names or even threats.
 
When Margaret Hefferman talks about creating a just culture in an organization she is talking  about such revolutionary concepts  as listening, team work, creativity, and empathy.  This is revolutionary talk which has the possibility of leading to a group of employees who might infect others in their families and larger community with the courage to question everything.
 
It is interesting to me that among those who are most critical of violent extremists, sharing of resources for health care, questioning the profit motive for medication or operating any business or organization as a group of equals are conservative Christians.  The very organization which claims as its head the historic figure of Jesus whose  legacy includes breaking many of the rules and the questioning  of the very concept of an angry, judgmental, punishing God. This is  the very same person who is supposed to have preached the love which is clearly outlined in I Corinthians. 
 
My Muslim friends are fond of quoting passages in the Quran about loving one’s neighbor and other passages which call into question everything that extremists Muslims are doing in hate.
 
I am suggesting that perhaps we raise our children to think which essentially means to question everything.  Questioning  has led to a more loving, inclusive community, to new inventions, to medicines, to a deeper understanding of our tiny, but important, role in the universe(s).  It has led us to question our concept of the God of our understanding, the efficacy of punishment, the role of male and females in our cultures and whether the reasons for certain religious beliefs are based  on what we know scientifically.
 
I am further suggesting just as Margaret Hefferman, Casey Gerald, and many others are suggesting that people who question are engaged, passionate, empathetic, curious, creative and, yes,  more loving/peaceful.  


Written March 14, 2016
 



​

“His memory is a blessing”
 
In the Christian tradition, today, March 13, 2016 is the 5th Sunday of Lent.  I am aware of this because I grew up with God as envisioned or posited in the Christian Tradition.   In that tradition, which may have been borrowed from a Pagan tradition as was many of the rituals in any religion,  Lent is a time of fasting and prayer. Some in the Christian church understand Lent as following the tradition of Jesus who went into the wilderness for 40 days and 40 nights where he resisted the temptations of the devil.  Lent, again in the Christian tradition culminates in that period between the death of Jesus on the cross, his subsequent burial, and his resurrection.
 
While searching through suggested meditations or homilies for this fifth Sunday of lent, I came across a reminder of the a “60 Minutes” segment by Bob Simon about the tiny Latin American town  of Cateura built on a garbage dump.  Deacon Greg Kandra says of this community, “People known as the Trash Pickers sift through the garbage, scrounging for anything they can sell—paper, pieces of plastic, cardboard… But one small band of trash pickers has done something amazing. They have found a way to turn trash into musical instruments: violins made from oven trays, cellos crafted from oil barrels, trumpets are made from drain pipes. All these pieces are brought together and used by children, who have formed an orchestra of their own, the Recycled Orchestra of Catuera.”
- See more at: http://aleteia.org/blogs/deacon-greg-kandra/second-chances-homily-for-march-13-2016-5th-sunday-of-lent/#sthash.pyxG3P1x.dpuf) 
 
This story is the perfect metaphor for the love of Christ, Buddha, Allah – the God of one’s understanding.      That love is unconditional.  As humans our lives are often messy and filled with the residue of the hurt which we have caused ourselves and others as well as the treasures of the small acts of kindness we often do.   We are simultaneously a blessing to others and one who leaves much emotional and physical trash as we proceed in this journey.  Yet, it is with open arms that the God of our understanding welcomes us home throughout every day.  There are times we are so full of ourselves that we do not even notice the trash we are leaving and there are times when all we see is the trash – the hurt of commission and omission.   Yet, this God of one’s understanding calls us to accept this unconditional acceptance and to in turn give unconditional acceptance and love.   It is easy, of course, to get busy with life and forget to go to the desert to be nakedly still in all of our humanness and to resist the ultimate devil of self-judgment.
 
Rabbi Lawrence Kushner said to Krista Tibbett on the NPR show, “On Being” of one of his mentors/professors, Jacob Petuchowki, “His memory is a blessing.”  This is the message of Lent and most other spiritual traditions:  The memory of us  is a blessing.  It is not the God of our understanding who judges us so harshly.  It is us.   We say, “What me, I am the worst possible sinner. I am unforgiveable. My sins of commission and omission are so great that I am unworthy of love.”  I am sure that Professor Jacob Petuchowki was as human as the rest of us and, yet, “His memory is a blessing.”
 
Dr. Rachel Remen, a physician, had to come to terms with her own humanness and the limit of much of traditional Western medicine when she got ill.  Out of her search for a more holistic approach to healing comes, among much else, the memory of her grandfather. She writes about him and his life in the book, “My Grandfather’s Blessings.” 
 
This word blessing.  What does it mean?  Oxford dictionary gives as its first meaning:  “God’s favor and protection.”  Or “A person’s approval or permission.”   We also use it in the sense of a gift  of someone’s life and perhaps teachings. That is the sense that Rabbi Kushner uses the word when taking about the professor.   Dr. Remen’s grandfather was acutely aware of the blessings/gifts he was given and was a blessing to many.
 
When I say that someone’s memory is a blessing I am not ignoring their humanness – the many shortcoming which may have made them so difficult at times -  I am saying that I am choosing to focus on, just as the God of my understanding focuses on the ways in which I am a blessing.  
 
On this fifth Sunday of  Lent it is my intention to be as honest as I know how  about the many times I have failed to love unconditionally, of the many times that I have kept track of the times that someone has not behaved the way that I wanted them to behave, of the many times that I have judged another to be less lovable and good than I, and  of the many times that have been angry because someone died or went on a different path before I was ready for them to do so.  It is also my intention to accept that it is only by acceptance of my own humanness  and of the humanness of others that I can experience the blessing of myself and others.
 
For me, both from a Christian and a Buddhist perspective, this is the blessing of the time out; that time which we can call Lent or a retreat or reflection or in the tradition of the 12-step program, a thorough 4th step which leads to the 5th through the 12th steps.
 
I think of the many people who have touch and who touch my life.  Their memory is a blessing.
 
Written March 13, 2016

​Twelve-year old Paul asks about non-lethal weapons
 
As spring approaches it seems that my adopted niece and nephew are busier than ever with school functions and spring sports.  They had also just gotten back from a brief vacation trip with their parents who had scheduled it for the spring break.  Thus, I was delighted when twelve-year old Paul called to ask if I could help him with a school project.  I had already made up the blueberry pancake batter and made the hot chocolate since I knew that Paul had to be at soccer practice in a couple of hours.
 
I look across to the house he and Sam share with their parents and see him just coming out of the kitchen door.
 
Me:  Good morning Paul.  Did you and the family have a good time on your trip?
 
Paul:  We did Uncle Jim. We went camping and it did not rain much. I love to camp, but I hate it when it is raining although I do get more frogs to put in Sam’s sleeping bag when it is raining.  She really  hates that!
 
Me: I am sure that she does. How are Sam and your parents?
 
Paul:  They are fine.  Mom wants to know if you will make homemade dinner rolls and bring to dinner tonight?
 
Me: Sure I will. How many people are coming to dinner?
 
Paul:  Me, Sam, mom and dad, our neighbors and Jenny and their children Tommy and Eldon.  How many is that Uncle Jim?
 
Me:  I think that is nine with me. Of course, we will have to have an extra one or two for Oscar even though we are not supposed to feed him from the table!  Oh, shall I start the pancakes? The hot chocolate is already made. Do you want some?
 
Paul:  Yes, please.
 
 
Paul:  Oscar and I love your rolls although I am glad I do not have to nibble at your feet to get them and eat them off the floor under the dining  room table!
 
Me: Yes, that is an advantage of being human!      Now what is homework assignment Paul?
 
Paul: Here is the assignment Uncle Jim.
 
Me: “Research the reason for and against the use of non-lethal weapons  by the police in the United States. For this assignment do not include any information or discussion about the use of non-lethal force by military forces.”   Okay, what have you found out so far, Paul.
 
(The pancakes our done.  I make a plate for Paul and one for me and then hand Paul the blueberry syrup we had made last year and which I have warmed up.)
 
Paul:  Thanks Uncle Jim.
 
Me:  Back to work. what have you found out so far Paul?
 
Paul:  Well, Uncle Jim there are a lot of non-lethal weapons.
 
Me:   Yes, I did not realize how many there are until  I did a little research myself.      I guess we better start with the term non-lethal.   What do you think it means Paul?
 
Paul:  I knew you would ask Uncle Jim. I looked it up even though I thought I knew. It means  death or killing. In this case it means weapons which do not kill, but all the so called non-lethal weapons can sometimes kill can’t they Uncle Jim?
 
Me:  Yes, they can.  So what we are really talking about are weapons designed to be  non-lethal but which sometimes can kill.  So, shall we use the laptop or the kitchen white board?
 
Paul:  Can we use both Uncle Jim?  
 
Me:  Sure I will use the white board and you can use the laptop. Okay? 
 
Paul:  Great. So the first thing is to write down the assignment.
 
I write it on the board and Paul types it in the computer.
 
“Research the reason for and against the use of non-lethal weapons  by the police in the United States. For this assignment do not include any information or discussion about the use of non-lethal force by  military forces.”   
 
Me:  Great.  So shall we make a note that what we are really talking about are weapons which are sometime lethal but not designed to be lethal.    I read  that they are now calling them less-lethal weapons.   What are some of these weapons Paul?
 
Paul:  There are a lot of them. These are some of the most common Uncle Jim:
 
“Light As a Less-Lethal Weapon
The new school of thought is to use light as a less-lethal weapon. The light is used to confuse, disable, and dominate your suspect. Powerful small flashlights that can be carried on your belt and produce 200 lumens or more (along with a built in strobe capability) are now used in room clearing to search out, make contact with, and control a suspect…
Chemical Agents
The most widespread less-lethal weapons are chemical agents dispersed in aerosol form. The three most widely used are CS, OC, or a combination of both. Regardless of what type you use, the effects are about the same; the suspect feels pain, burning, and irritation of exposed mucous membranes and skin. Some agents target the eyes to compromise vision. Others target the suspect's mouth, nose, and throat in order to adversely affect breathing.
Conducted Electrical Weapons
The most recent data I can find estimated that there are more than 11,000 agencies that use Conducted Electrical Weapons (CEWs). CEWs work by sending electronic pulses throughout the body that interfere with the communication between the brain and the muscles. They overwhelm the normal communication network, causing involuntary muscle contractions and impairment of motor function. 
Projectile Weapons
Another long standing group of less-lethal weapons are those that fire some type of blunt force round. The round is designed to cause pain but not penetrate the skin. It transfers and disperses its kinetic energy into its target. The most common rounds are those fired from a shotgun. The projectiles themselves come in a bean-bag form or fire some type of rubberized bullet. 
Launchable Pepper Projectiles
Instead of shooting paint balls, they shoot a type of OC pepper-spray pellet instead. Such projectiles contain pepper powder in hard frangible spheres that have a wide operating temperature range and can be deployed with specialized launchers...”
Policemag.com
 
Me:  That is a great list and similar to the overview of the lists that I found.  I found one document which claimed to have 54 pages covering some of the options.   
So what are the advantages and disadvantages Paul?
 
Paul:  Uncle Jim, the obvious advantage is that these less-lethal weapons do not usually cause death.
 
Me:   Why is that an advantage Paul?
 
Paul:  Well, in our house, as you know, we do not believe in killing. We believe that if police kill less often it is good modeling for the rest of the community.
 
Me:  Great point Paul.  Are there any other advantages?
 
Paul:  Just the other day the police shot some kid who had an air gun. They said they could not tell that it was an air gun.  If they had used a less-lethal weapon the kid probably would still be alive.
 
Me: Great. How shall we list that advantage?  How about mistakes are not as likely to be tragic?
 
Paul: Sounds good Uncle Jim.  Can you think of another advantages Uncle Jim.
 
Me: The person has another chance to change his or her life and the  law enforcement person does not feel so bad, especially if they make a mistake and shot a child.  What else Paul?  Do you think it is less expensive to use less-lethal weapons?
 
Paul: Do you mean that the weapons are cheaper Uncle Jim?
 
Me:  No, I am not sure that is always the case.  What are some of the costs involved in not killing someone or badly injuring them?  Let’s list them:
 
      Possibly lower medical costs. It is expensive to treat fatal or near fatal injuries.
 
Paul:  I am always reading stories of someone who starts off bad and then becomes a very famous person who owns a business or something.
      Possibly later making money and paying taxes or doing something really important.
 
Me:  Great.  How about?
 
      Less money on police to handle demonstrations and riots following the killing or near killing by police?
 
Paul:  That is great Uncle Jim. How about?
 
      Less money on law suits after a killing but more money on jail and court trials.
Me:  That is accurate Paul.  What are some of the other disadvantages?
 
Paul:  The two that I found Uncle Jim are:
 
      The police are more likely to use force if they think that they are using less-lethal or non-lethal means.
      Police get over confident and think that they are safe when they are not. 
 
I am not sure about another disadvantages but some of what I read said that people were just out to take away first amendment rights to protect themselves and that it would be really bad on companies which manufacture guns. On the other hand, some of the companies which make guns could make these less-lethal weapons.
 
Me:  Wow, Paul, you really did a lot of homework before we got together. I am, as always impressed. What about the primary disadvantage of less-lethal weapons being used more than lethal weapons?
 
Paul:  Well, you and our parents spend a lot of time teaching Sam and me how to not allow others to determine our behavior or our response.  Why couldn’t police learn to stay calm and not over react Uncle Jim?
 
Me: Great point Paul.  You think if kids can learn to stay calm and not accept the invitation to be confrontational or violent, we adults can learn too.
 
Paul:  I know old people have a harder time learning Uncle Jim but … (Paul is, as usual, teasing me about being old.)
 
Me: Point taken. I agree Paul. So one of the initial monetary disadvantages is that we would have to change the training in police academies and, for a time, spend more money providing training to those who were trained differently.
 
I see that the report cannot be longer than 500 words.  Shall we now work on writing the report using the notes we have made?
 
Paul:  We have only 30 minutes before I have to leave. Can we do it in 30 minutes Uncle Jim?
 
Me: I think so.  Let’s try. If we have to we can spend some time tomorrow to finish it. 
 
Written March 12, 2016
 

​Welcoming the mystic within us in the midst of suffering
 
None of us can escape the fact that suffering is a part of the process of this life journey for we humans.  Whether it is the mass suffering of groups of people inflicted by one group against another, the  result of a tragic accident,  the result of an illness, or the difficulty we experience when we lose someone we love, we all experience suffering.   While it may be true that some of we humans are incapable, for whatever reason, of emotionally experiencing  loss and some are unable to experience physical pain, the absence of the ability to experience loss is itself a tragedy.  Of course, if one is unable to experience suffering one then has to know that one was not able to experience the absence of suffering. In other words one is not able to experience a connectedness with both one’s own being or with other life forms.
 
Often, in times of our own suffering or the suffering of someone we love, we pray to some divine being, a universal force or the angels who we think/hope can intercede in the conditions or events which are leading to the suffering.
 
Sometimes the best we can hope for is the interruption of signals to the brain which certain drugs might provide.  Our prayer might then be that the we or someone we love not experience pain and can heal or let go  as quickly as possible. 
 
When we pray, to what or to whom are we praying?  What are we expecting to happen?  Is this divine being or beings going to suddenly heal someone or see “reason” from our perspective?  That does, at times seem to happen. For no reason that we humans can explain a cancerous tumor will suddenly shrink and perhaps disappear, an event will change the outcome of a situation, or someone will suddenly have an ah ha moment of insight which leads to the outcome we so desperately wanted.
Prayer so often posits or envisions a being or a force which is separate from the person or the persons praying.    There are those, however, such as the mystic Rabbi Lawrence Kushner who offer another possibility.  In an interview with Krista Tippett on the NPR weekly show, On Being, Rabbi Kushner suggests:
 
 
“Now I'm going to give you another metaphor. Just another metaphor. Relax. Same big circle that represents God but the only difference is is that the little circle that represents you and me is inside the big circle. And that is a more Eastern — it strikes us as a more Eastern model, but it's — as Scholem demonstrated, it's widely available in Western religious tradition as well. And the goal in that model is not to pray to God or have God tell you what to do, but to realize that you have been all along, contrary to all of your illusions, a dimension of the divine, and in moments of heightened spiritual awareness, the boundary line, which is the little circle defining you inside the big circle, momentarily is erased. Momentarily is blurred and it's no longer clear where you end and God begins.”
 
In my mind this makes absolute sense.  Even though many people, including Rabbi Kushner, might posit this understanding as the opposite of reason, I understand it differently.  Rabbi Kushner says:
 
“I think what our generation seems to be living through is the realization that rationalism is only part of the answer. I think, I’m not the first one to notice this, that Auschwitz and Hiroshima were perfectly rational decisions and behaviors.”
 
My understanding is that events such as Auschwitz and Hiroshima could be considered rational only if one believes that there is some person or groups of people who are not part of the divine.  As we know Hitler did not think of parts of himself or any of the groups (31 designations/insignias although some were overlapping) as part of the divine or as he termed it “the master race.”  As anyone who has studied the historic Hitler from the perspective of such scholars as Dr. Alice Miller, he was, in fact unable to see the divine or the human worth in parts of himself and his heritage.    Additionally, the term rational in my mind, implies one “think” in terms of a small slice of history. If we look at Auschwitz or Hiroshima in terms of the fact that once anyone justified the use of such a terrible weapon of mass destruction many nations could and have both developed and threatened to use such weapons. This does not seem rational to me.  How could we not have predicted that such would happen?
 
Rabbi Kurshner  posits: “This is a definition of a mystic. A mystic is anyone who has the gnawing suspicion that the apparent discord, brokenness, contradictions, and discontinuities that assault us every day might conceal a hidden unity.”
 
Whether we are looking at climate change, the concept of “six degrees of separation,” or all the events  - those labeled as both positive and negative –  of our individual and collective life journeys, these have all brought us to this moment.  This moment interacts with and will interact with all other moments.   This tells us that we have to come to the conclusion that there is indeed a unity in all that happens.  Is this true even with suffering?
 
What is suffering?  It can be many things including:
·      The experience of physical pain whose cause medical personnel can identify or which the layperson may, at times, be able to identify.
·      The experience of emotional pain which is often related to the grief one is feeling over a loss of a person(s) or even the loss of one’s own ability to function in some way.
·      The experience of taking in the suffering/grief/existential angst of another.
·      The grief or fear of a current situation or potential situation.   Many people, for example, have expressed deep suffering over the loss of faith in the political system of the United States to use a current example.
·      The grief or fear of facing one’s own humanness – of accepting that one is not who what has thought oneself to be.
 
Yesterday I was with this lovely couple who are both living with physical illness which restricts or limits their ability to physically and mentally do many of the tasks that they are used to doing.  Historically these very giving people are used to being servants in the finest sense of the term. They both come from a background of a deep religious/spiritual faith which has allowed them to  teach and help others in a variety of ways.   One of them can do very little other than focus on basic care – eating, resting, sleeping and other functions of daily existence.  The other is still able to do some teaching but she is also limited both by her own physical limitations and the need to attend to the needs of her partner/spouse. He especially experiences the suffering from the physical/medical issues and from not being able to function as he normally would. In both realms the suffering is very intense and very real. They both affect and interact with each other.  One might say that he currently has an opportunity to grow spiritually. While I believe this,  I think it is difficult to say this without running the risk of minimizing his suffering or coming across as patronizing.  
 
Yet, on another level,  we all know that we are human and that an important part of being human is to accept that our worth is contained  as much in our ability to accept as it is to give.   On yet, another level,  our spiritual growth is related to or even dependent on our ability to accept that  it is enough to quietly be part of the divine. When we are able to do this – when I am able to do this – even the intensity of my physical suffering will decrease.   For then, as Stephen Levine would say, we have begun to learn what it means to be with our pain or suffering which is different than being our pain or suffering. We have begun to  redefine our notion of rational.  What was formerly rational may now seem irrational and what was formerly may now seem rational.
 
It is possible that prayer is coming to this place of being present in  the midst of the divine –  of accepting that, as Rabbi Kushner suggests – that we are already inside the circle.  We do not have to achieve or to perform to get there.  It is out of the acceptance of being there that we are able to give because we can and not because we need to.
 
Prayer is, as the Rabbi suggests,  that place where we suspend what may have seemed rational and accept what seems mystical – “This is a definition of a mystic. A mystic is anyone who has the gnawing suspicion that the apparent discord, brokenness, contradictions, and discontinuities that assault us every day might conceal a hidden unity.”

Written March 11, 2016

​Developmental stages
 
This morning, I was reading some comments regarding a recent announcement about the salary of the president of the University of South  Florida.   I googled USF president’s salary and  found the following:
 
“The longest serving president in the history of the University of South Florida will remain on board for at least one more year.
The USF Board of Trustees unanimously approved a one-year contract extension for Judy Genshaft at their meeting on Thursday.
 
 
The group also approved a five percent base pay raise for Genshaft, who will receive an annual salary of $493,500.
Her pay could grow to as much as $768,500, depending on if she meets certain performance levels set by the Board of Trustees.” http://wusfnews.wusf.usf.edu
 
I also found the following:
 
“According to a CNN Money article published in May 2013, the median base salary for public university presidents in the fiscal year 2011-2012 was $373,800, with a total median pay package of $441,392 per year when factoring in deferred compensation and other one-time payments.”
 
I also found the following:
 
“Nearly 40 percent of all workers in the country made less than $20,000 last year, according to data from the Social Security Administration, which doesn’t include figures on benefits such as health insurance or pensions. That’s below the federal poverty threshold for a family of four and close to the line for a family of three. On average, these workers earned just $17,459.55.
Meanwhile, more than half of all workers made less than $30,000, not much more to live off of. Wider Opportunities for Women has estimated that a two-income family with two children needs to bring in nearly $72,000 a year to simply reach economic security. Two earners at this level won’t achieve that status.”  Thinkprogress.org
 
Additionally, money.usnews.com reports:
“Lawyers earned an average annual salary of $133,470 in 2014, which is substantially more than any other occupation on our list of Best Social Service Jobs. In 2014, paralegals earned an average salary of $51,840. Other jobs that also earn much less than lawyers include patrol officers ($59,560), high school teachers ($59,330) and school counselors ($56,040).”
 
Money.cnn.com reports:
 
“Super rich Americans skew average wealth upwards. The U.S. has 42% of the world's millionaires, and 49% of those with more than $50 million in assets.”
 
At the same time:
 
In Gallup’s 2013 State of the American Workplace study, 70 percent of those who participated described themselves as “disengaged” from their work.
Of over 150,000 people surveyed only 30 percent admitted they honestly enjoy their job and their bosses. Those who show up but are less than thrilled about it — or “disengaged” — made up the biggest category at 52 percent of work.   ryot.org
 
I looked up the average or median salary of many different professionals– those with college degrees and frequently some graduate or  professional school credentials.   The lowest paying professional jobs are pastors, social workers, teachers, and counselors.   Attorneys, college presidents, and doctors  (especially specialists), well known sports figures, and  well known entertainers are among the highest paid.  Pastors, social workers, counselors, doctors, attorneys and many teachers are required to have graduate or professional school degrees.
 
Finane.yahoo.com reports:
         By 2010, the median estimated wealth for members of the House of Representatives was $746,000; for senators it was $2.6 million.
         There was virtually no difference between the wealth of Republicans and Democrats in 2010. Just six years earlier, the net worth of Republicans was 44% higher than the net worth of Democrats.
         28% of Congress, or 150 members, reported earning more income from outside jobs and investments than from their Congressional salary of $174,000.
         27% of Congressional members saw a decline in their net worth between 2004 and 2010.
Lawmakers acquired their wealth in a variety of ways but real estate, institutional funds, and the wealth of their spouses were the top three sources.
 
Obviously I could go on quoting statistics for thousands of words. In fact, I have copied and pasted several more pages of information which I am not going to include here.
 
What can we deduce from the following?
      The significant percentage of United States workers who are unhappy with their jobs.
      The fact that such a large group of people in the United States earns less than  all experts determine is a living wage in this country.
      The fact that even the lowest paid professional worker in this country is better off than much of the world’s population.
      The fact that there are some countries where the average professional worker is better off and several countries where the benefits such as health care, vacation time, maternity and paternity leave are  more generous than the United. States.
 
What possible explanations can one posit about the level of anger and unhappiness in this country? Are the following possible factors?
      Is it possible that all the “things” which many thought were going to bring satisfaction and happiness are no longer enough?  Perhaps it is true that when we look for happiness in things, drugs, sex, power, or money that we always, in the long run, find out that the satisfaction or happiness/high is only temporary.
      I recall a time when salary and other benefit information in organizations for which I worked were closely guarded secrets.  One did not discuss salary or income information even with one’s friends and neighbors.   Now most salary and benefit information is very public.
      We have created a United States dream (often called the American dream)  or myth which states one will always improve one’s financial status is life.  If parents had a 3000 square foot home one should have 5000 square foot home which is furnished with  all the best  or most expensive “things” now!
      One is exposed to more cultures and information.  
      Individuals and families are less likely to live in a close knit community which includes a church/religious community.  Does this mean that the expectation is that more of one’s needs will be satisfied in the work environment?
      More employers are corporate based. One may change jobs and locations often and/or the company may be  sold or traded.
 
Is it possible that we are in a stage of growth in the United States which is normal and healthy?   It is true that change often involves grief as we let go of  dreams, hopes and expectations. The stages of grief often involve:
 
      Shock and Denial
      Pain and guilt
      Anger and bargaining
      Depression, reflection and loneliness
      The upward turn
      Reconstruction and working through
      Acceptance and hope
 
What if the citizens of the United States (and perhaps many other countries) need to just accept that they have to work through the stages?  If we could trust this process we can trust that most of us will come to the stage of acceptance and hope for the future.  We will have new visions and new dreams.  It is interesting to me that all the studies which acknowledge the current existential angst also acknowledge that we humans are moving toward a more spiritual existence than we have ever experienced.
 
Personally I am convinced that this may be the case and that it is safe to relax while we  work our way through this seeming period of chaos.
 
Written March 10, 2016

​Creative approaches to today’s issues
 
This morning while at the gym I listened to two Ted talks.  The first was one by Reshma Saujani entitled “Teach girls bravery, not perfection”  and the second was  by Caleb Harper, “This computer will grow your food in the future.”
 
Ms. Saujani says that research shows that one of the reasons females are underrepresented in STEM, C-suites, in boardrooms,  and in Congress is that they are socialized to be perfect and, thus,  are very cautious.  She understands cautious to be the opposite of brave.  She reminds us that many professions require one to take risks and thus, to be okay with making many mistakes.   In 2012 she started a company to teach girls to code. She says,”…by teaching them to be code I had socialized them to be brave.  Coding is an endless process of trial and error…So in 2012 , we taught 20 girls.  This year we’ll each 40,000 in all 50 states.”   
 
Caleb  Harper is the director of CitiFARM at the MIT Media Lab.  He and his team work on developing food computers.  They began to study the fact that the time from  picking an apple, for example, to purchasing and eating it is 11 months.   He says “Ninety percent of the quality of that apple -- all of the antioxidants -- are gone by the time we get it. It's basically a little ball of sugar. How did we get so information poor and how can we do better? He and his colleagues asked themselves, “What if ... we built a digital farm? A digital world farm. What if you could take this apple, digitize it somehow, send it through particles in the air and reconstitute it on the other side? What if?”
 
Actually he is not going to actually digitize it and send  it through particles in the air, but, “So into the world now. Personal food computers, food servers and food data centers run on the open phenome. Think open genome, but we're going to put little climate recipes, like Wikipedia, that you can pull down, actuate and grow.”
 
One can listen to the Ted talks by both of these individuals and/or  do one’s own research about the amazing creative, positive work that folks such as Mr. Harper and Ms. Saujani are doing.
 
 
What they are not doing is standing back and criticizing others for what they are doing or not doing. For me, one of the attractions of the Ted Talks, which I admit are an addiction, is the fact that they are talks by people  who take a positive, creative approach to problem solving and enriching the lives of themselves and others.   They are not building more effective weapons of mass destruction and using them to attempt to decimate the people they label as enemies.  They are not spending energy on suggesting that  folks attempting other approaches are bad people or  have stupid solutions.  They are upbeat, positive individuals who do not even mention those taking more negative approaches.
 
I ask myself, what is to prevent we humans from taking a more positive approach to world conflict, negative political  campaigns, and other social  issues?   From my very limited perspective it seems to me that X does something.  Y perceives this as negative and criticizes X.  C who a supporter of Y criticizes Y.  X then uses this as justification or further criticism of Y who then further criticizes ...   One can quickly grasp the pattern and see why negative leads to more negative which leads to more negative.  If Ms. Saujani spent her time and energy lambasting we males as sexist pigs who do not encourage the females to be brave, we poor males would probably get defensive and then criticize the whining, critical females who…
 
 
A good example is the fact that  number of “establishment” politicians such as Mr. Romney have criticized the presidential candidate Mr. Trump and, by association, his supporters. Mr. Trump and his supporters then criticize those criticizing  he and his supporters who in turn…  The result is that Mr. Trump and his supporters are able to say, “See I told you that we are being disrespected and that it is up to us to look out for our concerns and interests.    Ergo, a stronger, more confident Mr. Trump and  more determined supporters will turn out more  voters.   
 
I suspect that the approach to dealing with ISIS and others that we label as enemies is to offer attractive alternatives.  In order to do that we must follow the example of those who give Ted Talks.  Their approach is:
      Identify the issue one wants to address.  In the case of Ms. Saujani, she could have labeled the problem as we sexist males, the education system, the profit motive of those who make  Barbie dolls, or the  mothers who taught their daughters by example to be cautious.  Instead she labeled the problem as not teaching females to be brave. 
      Design a solution which directly addresses the need.  Ms. Sunjani  designed a practical method for both teaching bravery and a very usable and useful skill.   Mr. Harper and his colleagues are designing a practical way to grow food in any season in any part of the world. He and his colleagues are now addressing the issues of cost and practicality.  
 
If we want to problem solve issues which are of paramount concern to the angry, disaffected voters who see Mr. Trump as their advocate or to those who are attracted to ISIS and similar groups, we have to offer a more practical, positive approach to their concerns.   Homeboy Industries was part of the alternative to living a dangerous, destructive life as a Los Angeles Gang Member.  Father Boyle and those working with him did not begin by criticizing the gangs leaders or members, the drug trade, or the rituals demanding that young gang members prove themselves.   He and those working with him offered a positive, listening ear and then found ways to address the needs and concerns of those to whom they listened.
 
Recently there was a column in the Tampa Tribune which some readers read as calling Trump and his supporters gullible, hate filled, and racist. This morning, March 9, 2016, in the editorial section of the same paper there were three outraged Trump supporters more determined than ever to support Mr. Trump.   This is not surprising to me. I suspect that these three letters represent a multitude of Trump supporters.  If some people are already feeling as if their concerns are not being addressed by the other candidates, why in the world would one think that telling them that they are bad people whose concerns are not important, make them feel better?
 
If one believes that there are better alternatives than those being offered by Mr. Trump, then one must accurately identify the concerns of those who are attracted to his approach.  From my perspective those concerns seems to be:
      There are not enough decent jobs and other resources for the average person to support one’s family.
      There seems to be more concern for the illegal immigrant than there is the citizen born in this country who has worked hard or who is willing to work hard.
      The values which made this country great are no longer respected. It is not the country our founding fathers intended.
 
These are  just a few of the emotional issues which many believe that Mr. Trump will address.    What is the truth?  Some of the truths are:
 
      The jobs which helped many achieve the dream they had learned to trust – union coal mining manufacturing, and similar well-paying jobs which did not require college but may have been highly skilled - are no longer available.
      Working hard and sending one kids to college so that they can have a better life is no longer possible for the average person.
      Problems which used to be handled by families or more informally are now legislated and handled by law enforcement.  Individuals  often feel as if they no longer have any important role to play in the family or in the community. 
      The world is less safe and there are more attempts to take away the rights of the average person to protect himself and his family.
       
Father Boyle and others working with gang members in Los Angeles did not tell gang members that Homeboy industries could pay the same income one could make on the street selling drugs. That would have been dishonest and everyone would have known that.   
 
We live in a vastly different world than the one envisioned by the founding fathers of this country.   There is no turning back. Along with the rest of the world, we have to redesign how we are going to live and work together.  The truth is that we can grieve the loss of what was and use our very creative selves to learn to listen to and together redesign the Brave New World in which we find ourselves.    Our only hope of doing this is to take the concerns of the various individuals very seriously and not engage in name called which only validates their belief that “the establishment” does not care about their concerns.   We can do this if we treat everyone with respect  and address concerns honestly and realistically  We need to follow the positive approach of those represented at the Ted Talks.
 
Written March 9, 2016

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When habits become attachments
 
We all know that we could not function much of the time without habits.  Thanks goodness I do not, today at least, have to think about how to manipulate my body to get out of bed, stand and, without consciously thinking, walk to the bathroom, use the facilities, brush my teeth, get dressed, make the bed, prepare coffee, sit down, turn on the computer and begin to initiate and respond to texts and emails. Not only do I not have to think about which muscles to use for each task, I also do not have to think about which task  I will do next.  After doing texts and emails, I gather my stuff for the gym and writing and either load my backpack or purse and then head to the gym where I also follow a regular routine. It is Tuesday and I will do exercises  M through  P. 
 
Obviously habits are very time efficient.  They can, theoretically, insure that I have more free time and, assuming that many of them are healthy, help me to have time for new tasks and experiences.  The danger is, of course, that I can get attached to habits and engage in activities long past the time when they serve a purpose.  What if, for example, I  get attached to the habit just because it is a habit or on my schedule?  This could easily happen with this blog. So far it has served a number of purposes including:
 
1.      A way of sorting through and making sense out of my thoughts  and examining my feelings.   I am not one of those folks who are able to think on his feet. I need to put thoughts and feelings  down on paper, let them visit each other and see if they make sense and are consistent with my core values.
2.     Taking the risk of allowing others to read and critique what I write.
3.     Identifying a direction for the next stage of my life.
4.     Forcing myself to articulate spiritual and intellectual goals.
 
In my mind these can be very laudable goals.   I can, however,  get attached to the habit of blogging just to blog whether or not the writing is serving any of the above purposes.    Is the blog more important than coming to the aid of a friend who may need practical or emotional support/help?  Is the blog more important than taking time to be present to those people I encounter at the gym, Panera, or other places?  Is it more important than spending time with my son, other relatives or other friends  who may be visiting in person, who may call or whose letter is waiting for a response?  
 
It is important to note that although the blog may play a role in my coaching or counseling business, my ability to pay for essentials such as rent/mortgage, utilities, food and medical care is not dependent on the few clients who may hire me as a result of the blog.   Also, 90% of people who may decide to hire me will find me whether or not I daily publish a blog.   
 
On the other hand, it may be true that the blog plays a minor role in  encouraging or supporting others in staying focused on their healing/growing journey.  Still, most  of the readers who may  benefit will contact me directly if they need some support or encouragement. 
 
The bottom line is that it would be easy for me – it is easy for me – to allow life to just roll along because it is more or less comfortable -  allowing my routine habits to fill up all the hours of the day.    Even though activities such as writing the blog, doing housework or performing other chorettes may have some value, they do not have more value than my staying healthy or  being  present when others need my emotional or practical support.
 
My goal is to be  intentional every day about how I live my life  No task is in and of itself more important than the people whose lives touch mine or I theirs.   
 
I talked to a very bright young man with a good heart yesterday. I have known this young man since he was 16 or 17.   He is now 20 and  continues to say he is unhappy with the fact that  it seems that his life is lacking in any real direction or purpose.    Being the bright young man he is, he can always find something or someone to blame.  He can also tell himself that he is young and he has plenty of time to grow up.  Yesterday he was  aware that time moves so quickly that in an instant he has grown from age 16 to 20   He continues to use marijuana daily, to work at a job(s) which do not challenge him  much,  and to be very bored and periodically depressed.    In some ways he mirrors the life of his two very bright, charming, well-educated parents.   Although he criticizes them, he is smart enough to know that what he criticizes in them he hates in himself.    On a day-to-day basis the habits of his life are more or less comfortable.  In some ways he has becomes attached to the comfort his current habits provide until the depression or discontent outweighs the comfort he gets  from them. 
 
This is an easy trap for this human to fall into.  This human can convince himself that all or most of his habits are more important than the core values by which he judges the success of or lack of success of his life.  Unless I am daily being very intentional about those core values and the resultant legacy I want to leave today, my life will simply be one of habits which have  become attachments and, which, thus, may seem or feel more important than my core values.
 
Written March 8, 2016