​School Bells – 8th grade current affairs – week one
 
In many places including where I am living school started today.  My adopted niece and nephew who live next door to me, Sam and Paul, are in the first and 8th grade this year.   They are now ages 7 and 13.  I have agreed to do something new this year. I will teach a current affairs class once a week in both Sam’s and Paul’s school. They are excited to have Uncle Jim coming to their class.  Both of them are often in my home and ask lots of questions about current affairs.
 
Tuesday was my day to be in Paul’s class.  Off I went to my first class. Many years ago I was a substitute teacher in the New Jersey school system.  Later I was an adjunct college teacher in Wheeling, West Virginia.   It has been a long time since I taught an 8th grade class.   I was not sure what to expect since this was the first day back to school for the students.
 
The class began with everyone, including myself introducing themselves. I asked each student when introducing themselves what they thought was the most important thing happening in the world.
 
These are some of the answers I got.
 
Susie:  I am Susie.  My family and I have been watching the Olympics.  My mother was on the swim team and is excited that Michael Phelps is doing so well.  She keeps talking about the fact that he is proving that one can make some mistakes and start over again. 
 
Paul:  You know me.  I live with my parents and my younger sister Sam.  She is really smart.  My family has been talking about the fact that Florida has a lot of gun manufactures. Only the state of Texas has more.  Mostly they make guns to sell to individuals.  If we don’t like having so much gun violence why do, we keep making more guns?
 
Amena:  My name is Amena.   I am from Syria. I think the most important issue is all the refugees.  We were refugees but were lucky to have relatives already here who helped us.
 
Tom:  My name is Tom.   I am trans and I am worried that I do not understand why so many people do not like me or people like me
 
Abdul:  I am Abdul.   My family is from Egypt.  My family is worried about being sent back to Egypt because we are Muslim. I do not understand why some people think that all Muslims are terrorists. My family is very peaceful.
 
Amy:   I am Amy.  I am worried about how I and my siblings are going to be able to afford to go to college or if we will be able to find jobs.
 
John: My name is John.   My parents are concerned that politicians will take away our guns and we will not be able to protect ourselves.
 
Most of the other students had similar concerns.  I was very impressed with the range of issues and the seriousness of their concerns.   I am eager to go back next week.  Next week we will discuss Michael Phelps and the fact that he has worked so hard to make a comeback after having some tough times and losing many of his sponsorships. We will explore what happens when we think of ourselves individually or collectively as winners who sometimes fall and have to pick ourselves up.
 
Written July 9, 2016

The news
 
Oxforddictionary.com gives the following definition of the word news:

1.  Newly received or noteworthy information, especially about recent or important events.
   1. A broadcast or published report of news:
   2. Informal information not previously known to someone.

 
Many of us receive information in many formats and mediums.  Just this morning I have received information via the radio, the internet, the television, and two newspapers.   Later I will read journals and a book or books.  I have also received information via direct communication with some people - via email and in person.   While I am not convinced that all the information I received from various sources was noteworthy and new, all of it combines at times to educate, confuse, stimulate, bore and elicit many emotions in me.
 
Although the means of communicating information has changed since I was a young child living in the country without the benefit of electricity, delivered newspapers or magazines the need for humans and a number of other animal species to exchange information seems to have existed since the emergence or creation of living organisms. As I recently mentioned in a blog, even trees and other life forms have the ability to communicate. When I was a child the primary means of sharing information was word of mouth, the radio (occasional since listening often required borrowing the battery from the car), books, an occasional phone call when a phone was accessible, and letters.  Those means of communication often required one to be patient.  Waiting was not usually an important issue unless one was waiting for news of the health of a loved one or some important world event.   I can conjure in my head an image of I and others huddled around a radio or talking too loudly while speaking through the transmitter end of a heavy, black phone.
 
Later, of course, we had regular access to the radio and the television. By the time I lived in cities such as Washington, DC, I spent a considerable amount of time reading the Washington Post or the New York Times.   I also listened regularly to the 6:00 p.m. or even the 11:00 p.m. news on the television.  It seems the greater the availability the more I was convinced that responsible citizenship required I be fully informed.  When I moved from New Jersey to a remote island community in Alaska without a consistent operating electrical generator and satellites only available for military use, I was again thrown into the scant news world of my youth.  I am sure that I suffered acute emotional distress at being cut off from the continuous flow of information.  Yet, six months later when I was in New York City for a meeting I paid little attention to the television or the newspapers.
 
Folks who know me know that I now rely mostly on National Public Radio, the local newspaper, the Wall Street Journal, emails, texts, letters, times with friends and books (many books).  There is also the smart cell phone and the computer which bring not only the voices of many, but a constant stream of “breaking news”.
 
The news not only comes from many sources, but is constant and not always ‘new’.   Instead of being restricted to two or three major news broadcasts a day there is news delivery 24/7. The same information is analyzed, repackaged and presented over and over again.  It would seem often that even in the areas of news coverage more is considered better. 
 
Yet, in the midst of the constancy of this stream of information I do not always feel better informed or more able to form an opinion.  I also do not seem to have the time and energy to identify and experience my emotional reactions to all this information.   This morning I read:
 

• Major speeches by presidential candidates.
• 18-year-old teenager sentenced to 8 years in prison.
• Suicide bomber kills 74 at Pakistan hospital
• “Elitism won’t defeat Trump”
• “Hannity's Veneration of Ignorance.
• “Pokémon Go player shot, killed in San Francisco”
• “Teen saves driver in pond.”
• How the observation of a disposal baby diaper is inspiring brain research?

 
I must have read dozen of other articles and listened to numerous discussions.  Clearly I should feel well prepared to face the day with wise judgments and opinions.   Yet, it is not the case.  The truth is:

• I am overwhelmed with a myriad of opinions and so called facts.
• I will spend much of the day on the routine tasks of living and working.
• In my head I will compose erudite responses to various articles but I will not find or make the time to put pen to paper or fingers to keys despite numerous little notes to myself on paper and in my phone.  I really do want to write Bret Stephens my appreciation of his opinion article in the Wall Street Journal. I need to think more about the work of those research scientist who are exploring applying the concept of disposal diapers to brain research.  I “need” to read the many books which were reviewed on NPR and in the newspapers.   Of course, I also “need” to read the stack of books I have already committed myself to reading.
• If not careful/intentional I will miss the smile, the grimace, the furrowed brows, the worried looks, the amazing delight and the many other “news” stories which present an invitation today.

 
It seems obvious to me that it is important that I become as well educated as possible so that I can be an informed citizen who makes the best educated guesses about whether to vote yea or nay on a variety of issues.  Yet, what seems most important is that the real purpose of news is to exchange information which is going to help us find ways of together creating a more just, harmonious world – to find ways of enjoying the magic and the miracles which surround one - the magic of that seed which produces amazing flowers and food – the delight of a shared smile, a laugh, or tenderness – the pain or fear which leads to suicide bombs, domestic violence, murder, addiction and all manner of disharmony.  
 
It is easy for this human to get lost in the forest of information and to forget that I came to the forest to explore, absorb, delight and create.  The good news is that the absence of news may allow me to experience the news that is really important.  Perhaps!
 
Written August 9 2016
 

 
A Pilgrimage
 
Paulo Coelho’s, the Brazilian lyricist best known for his books The Alchemist and The Pilgrimage interview with On Being host Krista Tippett in 2014 was broadcasted on August 4, 2016.  It can be listened to, read or downloaded.  I was fascinated by the title of the interview “The Alchemy of Pilgrimage” although, to be honest, I always listen to this show because I can expect to be a richer man at the end of a broadcast no matter whom the guest.  On might say that soaking up the wisdom and the challenges of wise risk takers is an essential part of my pilgrimage.  One of Mr. Coelho’s statement made to Ms. Tippett which made me smile was:
 
“Every morning, I find myself a different person. I’m always a mystery to myself. If I knew in the first hours of the morning what I’m going to do, what is going to happen, what attitude or decision should I take — I think my life would be deadly boring because, well, what makes life interesting is the unknown. It is the risks that we take every single moment of a single day.”
 
As a counselor and a person who has been blessed with many new and varied experiences I am acutely aware of the duality of the reaction of many of us to opening ourselves to new experiences – to new steps   Whether it is opening ourselves to new thoughts or to more fully experience a wide range of emotions there is always both a sense of excitement accompanied by anxiety or fear. I find it easy to get excited about new experiences – new possibilities – and, yet, I am frequently a little fearful of the unknown.  
 
The description which Wikipedia gives for pilgrimage is:
 
“A pilgrimage is a journey or search of moral or spiritual significance. Typically, it is a journey to a shrine or other location of importance to a person's beliefs and faith, although sometimes it can be a metaphorical journey into someone's own beliefs.”
 
For Paul Coelho it has been both – a time out for a physical pilgrimage in space – a distance of 500 walking miles – and a daily commitment to being present to the mystery of who is he on any particular day. 
 
He is not suggesting that his core values or his core commitments change every day. Obviously, he made and kept a commitment to talk to Krista Tippett. He makes and keep commitments to explore via the pen.  He has been married to and has loved the same woman who is, of course, in another sense, not the same woman on any given day.  He is a firm believer that love is a verb – an action work – and yet, at the very same time he embraces learning and is reaches out to experience what each day brings to his thoughts and feelings.
 
When he first published his now very famous book, The Alchemy, it sold so few copies that his publisher gave the book back him.  It would take 15 years for it to become a best seller. It has now been on the New York Times best seller list for over 400 weeks.
 
Who is this man who can travel from the forced Christianity of his childhood, to a Jesuit education, to his training in law, to becoming a “drop out” and then at age 40 deciding to take the risk of owning his identity as an author?  He is the same man who later returns home to a new understanding and appreciation of Christianity; the same man who would eventually become a revered and admired world famous author.
 
In my practice as a licensed professional counselor and a certified addiction counselor fear often seems the strongest emotion which determines the road traveled or, more importantly, the road not traveled.  Often one meets addiction when a person is attempting to run from uncomfortable feelings or situations.  I have heard many say that they never felt as if they fit in and,yet, they feel unable to move from that stance.   Many people I meet stay in unsatisfying jobs, marriages, and other situations because they are allowing the fear of the unknown to keep them from their pilgrimage.  They are not able to be present to or excited about the life they have now, but cannot allow themselves to risk moving on to what might be. They die “in place” rather than moving toward a dream.   As I mentioned, Paulo Coelho did not pursue his dream of becoming a writer until he was 40.  Prior to that he was preparing to take that important step. He brings to this part of his pilgrimage a history of struggling, learning, searching and waking up to greet the mystery of who he might be and who he might become.  He approach his relationship with his spouse and the rest of his life with the same openness to mystery.
 
It is interesting to speculate what it might be like if more of us could allow ourselves to open our arms to the mystery of who we are today as well as the mystery of who our partner, our children, or others we might encounter are today. It seems to me that it is easy for many of us to fall into the trap of thinking that there is no mystery to anyone in our life or any of those we might directly and indirectly encounter today. How many days do we awaken “knowing” not only who we are but who everyone we meet are?  How many days do we dread meeting the same, boring, dreary people again?   What might happen if we could follow the example of Mr. Coelho and expect to find that we are all mysteries waiting to be unveiled and experienced?
 
 
Written August 8, 2016

​Living life as a victim
 
If listening, most of us, at some point in our lives, may have heard ourselves say, “If only …, then some part of my life would be better or less stressful.  We may blame our own past mistakes, the actions or lack of actions of our parents, our children, life circumstances such as an accident or an illness, or some other person, event or circumstances for the fact that we cannot be successful or have the life we want and deserve.  We may sometimes notice that “if only” is accompanied by anger and resentments.
 
It is true that mental illness such as depression, addiction or some other disease which affects the brain may make it more difficult for us to focus on positives or for us to trust we have the power to create a life with meaning and of which we can be proud.   Depression, as I have formerly discussed in past blogs, blocks out the automatic experience of color and time. Color represents the positives which exist alongside the very real hardships and emotional hurts with which life may presents.  Color balances the darkness and can even spill over into the darkness.   I was reminded of this fact while talking to a friend this morning.   She had just attended the funeral of a favorite relative and remarked that it was a very loving and happy celebration of the life of this man.  Although she and others were sad that they would no longer have the company of this very loving man, they were focused on all the gifts of love and positive life lessons he had given them while living.   This same friend of mine has made many unplanned changes in her life.  She is one of those very blessed persons who is always able to find color (joy).   She may temporarily get exhausted, frustrated or sad, but she finds the proverbial silver lining.   If she suffered from clinical depression or some other illness which affected her brain function she would find it much more difficult to focus on the positives.
 
Depression also blocks the automatic experience of the sense of movement of events.  Without the clinical effect of depression or some other illness on the brain when darkness appears one “knows” that prior to darkness there was light and light will eventually overtake the darkness.   With depression and some illnesses, the brain says, “It is dark now. It has always been dark and it will always be dark.”  Wow! Depression is depressing!
 
A person with an illness that affects how one experiences life, can learn that, with certain illnesses, one has to switch to manual mode and painstakingly correct the misperceptions or lies.  If one does not do this, one will develop the habit of reinforcing the lies. If the perception is that it is all darkness, then one has to force oneself to acknowledge the positives. For example, since I always have fresh flowers I might say to the person, “See if you can find the fresh flowers or something else which is positive (has color).” One does have to be careful.  If a person has bad allergies to most flowers that might not be something positive for them. 
 
Of course, one wants to explain how the brain works and why one is making such suggestions.  Otherwise the brain of the depressed person might just hear one criticizing them.   They might say, “See, I cannot even see or perceive correctly.  You are saying that I do that wrong also.” 
 
The person with a disorder which affects perception/experience may attempt to explain their unhappiness by blaming a parent, spouse/partner, child, boss or some person.   No matter what is going on they may think it is because the person did X or did not do Y.  They may say, as did someone with whom I was talking the other night, “If my mother would just love me the way I need to be loved, I would be able to feel good about life and quit being so negative or otherwise sabotaging myself.  If my father would quit doing everything for me I would have to act like an adult.” In other words, it seems to him that it is their fault that he cannot have the life he wants and deserves. Either they do too much or not enough.  I was able to remind him of another possible truth -He is a very capable adult.  He could work a solid addiction recovery program, continue to work with his physician on treatment of his depression and do whatever he needs to do to find gainful employments.  Indeed, he might already have a job if he can pass the drug test and be emotionally and physically present for a job.   He has chosen to take help from his parents and to accept the lie of his brain 12 step recovery program(or some other system for identifying and correcting the habit of believing that he is a victim) is not for him.  When he gets frustrated or frightened he is likely to drink and/or engage in self-pity and blame. If not careful, the people, such as his mother, that he blames will get defensive and respond with anger which further “justifies” his anger.  His anger then “justified” their increased anger.  One gets the picture.
 
We can see the same dynamic going on in many political campaigns.  The focus is often on blaming rather than offering creative, realistic options.
 
No one chooses to have an illness which affects how they experience the world.  No one chooses to have depression, an addictive disorder, a brain tumor or some other disorder. Similarly, no one chooses to be musically or otherwise artistically gifted.  We all have different strengths and weaknesses.  We all have different life circumstances. It is our responsibility to get the help we need to learn how to make the most of our strengths and not allow our weaknesses to keep us from claiming the life we deserve.
 
There is no denying that life is more difficult for some people than others. I cannot imagine what life is like for many refugees who are fleeing war and other terrible life threatening conditions. I cannot imagine sending a young child off on a boat by themselves knowing that they may die on their journey and that they may not get the help they need even if they do arrive safely to another place.  I cannot know what it is life to live with a chronic severe mental illness. I have not had to live with those hardships. I cannot pretend that I do know. Anyone who had lived with those situations or conditions deserves my respect and support.  They do not, however, deserve or need my pity.  It is also not helpful to:

• Feed their victim statements.  I do not want to say to them that they are right - that  X condition or experience keeps them from having a good life.
• Deny their hardships or their illness. 
• Argue with them – accept their invitation to argue, verbally or physically fight.
• Get angry and blame them for “ruining” one’s day (or life).
• Treat them as fragile.
• Withhold love and emotional support.
• Withhold other forms of support if it proves to be helpful in a positive manner.
• Think one can fix them.

 
One does, of course want to:
 

• Love unconditionally.
• Remember that the lies of depression or other illness seem very real. One may need “reality checks” from others one can trust.
• Seek emotional support from support groups, trusted friend, professional, clergy, books, etc.
• Lovingly take responsibility for getting pulled into an argument or verbal fight.
• Keep a sense of humor but not in a patronizing or discounting manner.
• Accept that one cannot control another person or situation no matter how much or how well one loves.

 
One’s life dance does not have to be defined as that of a victim.  None of us have to be defined by an illness or condition.  We can help each other LIVE with a condition or set of circumstances rather than dying or just existing from that illness or condition.
 
Written August 5, 2016
 
 
 
 

​Politics – the body politic
 
I smile when I read or hear of comments suggesting that the experience of the Gold Star families should not be a political issue.   I ask myself, “Is my understanding the of word politic different than what is understood by many other people?”.   I turn again to the internet and find that in this case Wikipedia has the best introduction to the term:
 
“Politics (from Greek: πολιτικός politikos, definition "of, for, or relating to citizens") is the process of making uniform decisions applying to all members of a group. More narrowly, it refers to achieving and exercising positions of governance — organized control over a human community, particularly a state. Furthermore, politics is the study or practice of the distribution of power and resources within a given community (a usually hierarchically organized population) as well as the interrelationship(s) between communities. Politics presents one of the ten function systems of modern societies. “
 
While it is true that the system of electing those who will assume the mantel of leadership locally and nationally in this country may be riddled with the influence of special interest groups, debasing and negative rhetoric and open to much criticism, it is an effort to continue a system for making decisions which has, with all its increasing limitations,held together this country since in’s inception.  
 
Regardless of what the individual citizen thinks about the morality of the use of violence to combat violence, the distribution of resources, the international responsibilities of the United States to join with others in addressing issues such as ISIS, one has to designate those who will make decisions about how how the United States will proceed on all these and other important issues.  In my mind all of us who are citizens of the United States and especially those whose sons and daughters have died physically fighting the cause which those we have previously elected decided was necessary should be actively involved in these decisions.  Families have been giving their blessing, often reluctantly, to their sons and daughters to go “fight the good fight” for a very long time.  Who, among us, has more right to offer an opinion about the future fate of our children then those families?  Who, has given more thought to the results of decisions made in the local city hall, the state government office or the hallowed halls of Congress than those who have faced the solemn knock on the door of the person come to announce, “We regret to inform you…”    Who has more interest in electing the next person who will meet with the generals, the religious community and others to decide if indeed it is a moral decision to send armed planes or other military forces to Libya or the country de jour which is alleged to be hosting those we have declared tthe enemy; or who declared themselves the enemy?
 
No matter how corrupted by the influenced of those who are attempting to prove their worth through  the power of money; no matter all the various forces which influence the outcome of an election; no matter the half-truths and outright lies; no matter the seeming reactionary dance of some of our angry neighbors; no matter how effete we may view some of those we term the ineffective establishment; no matter the effect of the theater of modern day politics which has been enhanced by various modern methods of communication;  no matter how imperfect the system we, as a  country will elect new leaders or at least those who promise to assume the sacred mantle of leadership beginning in 2017.
 
The educated, the emotional, the narrow minded, the vested interest, the angry, the thoughtful, the rational, the irrational, and all those who fall somewhere on the spectrum deserve a voice.  Surely those voices should include those of the Gold Star families as well as those who lives have been permanently changed as a result of their decision to follow the leadership of whoever is in power.  Their voices are an essential part of the body politic.
 
Welcome.
 
Written August 2, 2016
 

​No stupidity allowed.
 
To impose the requirement of no stupidity allowed on a political candidate is, of course, an oxymoron.  None of us humans can avoid stupid moments for very long.  It is my experience that although some humans seem to have perfected the art of stupidity, none of us can escape our human potential for stupidity.   
 
I know I am more prone to stupid attacks when I am under extreme pressure.  Although I would hope that I more often stop, breathe, and consider a response prior to responding in word or deed, I know that there are times when I say or do something in a defensive manner which does not reflect my core values.    In fact, I know that reacting rather than acting seldom allows me to fully honor my core values.  Fortunately, I have not yet become delusional enough to think that I could campaign for a political office or occupy an elected position and have only a modicum of stupid attacks.  
 
I am not sure why we members of the general populace in the United States and now in many other countries expect political candidates to refrain from reacting.   While we obviously have to have some way to make voting decisions, the complete absence of stupidity seems to be a very poor way to make decisions.  Still, after having said this, I know that I found myself shaking my head after listening to weekend responses from some of the presidential candidates in the United States.  To be fair, no other country, as far as I know, require their candidates to campaign in such a large geographical area for nearly two years. By this time in the process, the candidates both have to be totally exhausted which leaves them more prone to reacting with yet another sound bite including totally false information or responses which contradict their previous statements.
 
I am suggesting that the process itself lends itself to frequent lapses into stupidity including lies and contradictory statements. 
 
I am reminded of statements by my mother which I am sure are in the standardized parent rule book.   My mother would often say, “Just tell me the truth. That is all I want. The truth.  You will not get in trouble for telling me the truth.”  So I tell her the truth and she says, “How could you be so disobedient. What did I do to deserve such a bad son who lies? Get me a switch.”   Getting a switch meant going to the oak or hickory tree, cutting a small branch, bringing it to her only to be told that, “You call this a switch?”  She would then dramatically break it into two pieces and throw it away from her while demanding that I go get a “real switch.”  Obviously lying did not work well, but then neither did telling the truth.  Either response would elicit her wrath.  To be fair, my mother was exhausted. This city-bred woman spent many days tending to four and then five children without the luxury of running water, electricity, or other modern “conveniences.”  She was exhausted much or all of the time.  She was without close family support and, sadly, did not have a friendly relationship with my paternal grandparents (especially my grandmother) who were the only relatives who lived relatively close.
 
I am not suggesting that it is good to lie. I am also not suggesting that it is safe to have a president of the United States who is unable to function under pressure.  Having said that I do think we need to take a look at the campaign and election system in the United States.   From the standpoint of money, time and energy of both the candidates and the populace, it is time to follow the example of many other countries and limit the campaign season to a maximum of 60 or 90 days. It is also time, as my friend Dr. Johnen suggests, to set some rules. When she was head of a school, one of the rules for election of student officers was that the candidates “could only talk about what they would do in a position and how that would benefit the school/club – whatever they were running for. No one could say a word about or against their opponent.”    I am sure that there were built in campaign time limits.  Additionally, there was not the pressure of the various news organizations to compete and fan the flames of the personal attacks or to “dare” the candidates to continue to respond to the same, antagonistically-worded question over and over and over without shifting to a reactionary mode.
 
As a member of the voting public I would like to know:
·      Concrete, realistic proposals to address domestic and international issues.
·      That the candidates are not prone to reacting under pressure.
·      That the candidates are part of a team of educated individuals who make team decisions which are followed.
·      That the candidates have an acute awareness of the need to take care of their emotional, physical, and spiritual health.
·      That the candidates have the humility to say that they were wrong or made a mistake and have a plan for avoiding the same mistake again.
·      That the candidates are committed to service/accomplishment and not re-election.
·      That the candidates are not beholden to a person or group which gives large sums of money to their ongoing political campaigns.
·      That the candidates will not be required to constantly face antagonistic news reporters who make their living scooping other news organizations.
 
Unless and until there are some agreed upon rules for rational, civil campaigns and news coverages I, as a voter, am going to have a very difficult time knowing how to make an informed decision or even to expect to have candidates who give me real choices.  Yes, the system is broken. The campaign and election system is broken.  It is a stupid system!
 
 
Written August 1, 2016

​Perspective
 
This morning, July 31, 2016 the Tampa Bay Times in the Sunday Perspective section had an article by Rebecca Onion entitled “2016:  The worst  year ever?”  In this article Ms. Onion reminds the reader that  there have  been many times in human history when catastrophic events have threatened the very existence of the human race when one group of people violently conquered another nation.   She begins with 72,000 B.C. which hosted a massive “volcanic super-eruption” which eventually reduced the human population to “between 3,000 and 10,000 people.”  She also reminds the reader of the year 1348 when the black death killed at least a third of the population of Europe.  
 
Often as a counselor I am asked to guide people in gaining some perspective.  They may call me when some major event has disrupted – often forever  -  the design of their life.   Death of a beloved partner, death of a child,  economic disaster, the ravages of an illness such as cancer, addiction or the result of an accident leaving the person or a family member permanently paralyzed can halt the trajectory of a planned and ordered life.  Sometimes, the event is  a “natural” one of aging which many of us experience as a sudden onset. The aging person may have been adept at avoiding what was increasingly obvious to everyone except the them.  One day suddenly they are old and unable to care for themselves. 
 
 
It is often at that moment of epiphany one may not to be able to envision or conceptualize a new design for life  - a design which has meaning or is worth living.  Later, if lucky, that person may be able to see that tragic time in in their life as the time when the new vision began to take shape.
 
I have a very vivid oral and visual memory of my paternal grandparents and other adults prophesizing the end of the world if so and so got elected to a political office or if so and so in the family or larger community had to deal with event X.   This might concern a divorce, the election of a public official, the unplanned pregnancy of a child, the action of a foreign nation or some other event which was major for the people having the discussion or hosting the wake for life as one knew it.  I recall, on one of my last visits to my material grandfather, him saying to me, “You have ruined your life.  Not only do the drive a G..D.. foreign car, you got a G..D.. divorce and you are a G..D.. Presbyterian minister.”  Obviously all of those facts – indeed they were facts – foretold, not only my future, but the future of civilization as he and my deceased grandmother had known it!  I can also recall that he once told me about the “secrecy” surrounding the death of one of my two favorite cousins, Marilyn, “You know she killed herself.  And a dammed good thing she did.  She got herself pregnant while in college by a G.. D..  N.....  “  It was useless to attempt to convince him that racism was a socially constructed concept to justify the oppression of a group of people in order to allow some other people to convince themselves that more money and power would bring the internal peace they sought.
 
Wars, the killing of young people by police, the killing of police officers, mass shootings, so-called natural events, the phenomenon of  Trump and the new Philippine President may make it seems as if this is indeed the worst of times and is not balanced as Dickens would have had us believe:
 
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.” (A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens published in 1859)
 
For a moment this morning I ‘found myself’ thinking that it is indeed the worst of times.  This was after reading the latest Trumpism criticizing the Muslim father Mr. Khizr Kahn who spoke of the death of the beloved son of he and his wife, Army Captain Humayun Khan,  at the Democratic National Convention last week.  Mr. Trump commented on the fact that Mrs. Khan did not speak, “if you look at his wife, she was standing there, she had nothing to say, she probably – maybe she wasn’t allowed to have anything to say.”  Later Ghazala Khan said she “cannot even come in the room where his picture is” much less speak in public about his death.  Mr. Kahn later said his “wife helped him craft his remarks and even told him to remove certain attacks he wanted to make against Trump.” (Interview with New York Times).  Yet, the fact that Mr. and Mrs. Khan did so eloquently speak out proves, once again, that it is the best of times. There are many wonderful signs that we are, even today, entering a time when we can no longer avoid the fact that all of us do better when  creating a new, joyful dance of love and cooperation.   Humans are a hearty bunch. We survive the “worst of times” by “putting our best foot forward.”   We have been here before and will be again.  Perhaps, just perhaps, it is again the cusp of a new age of enlightenment.
 
A little perspective is indeed a gift.  Thanks Ms. Rebecca Onion.
 
Written July 31, 2016

​Yutori - spaciousness
 
The poet Naomi Shihab Nye in talking to Krista Tibbett, host of On Being on July 28, 2016 talked of her introduction to the Japanese word yutori.  Ms. Nye has the habit of writing on the board when teaching a class, “You are living in a poem.”  After doing that for a class she was teaching in Japan:
 
“And a girl, in fact, wrote me a note in Yokohama on the day that I was leaving her school that has come to be the most significant note any student has written me in years. She said, “Well, here in Japan, we have a concept called ‘yutori.’” And it is spaciousness. It’s a kind of living with spaciousness. For example, it’s leaving early enough to get somewhere so that you know you’re going to arrive early, so when you get there, you have time to look around. Or — and then she gave all these different definitions of what yutori was to her.”
 
“But one of them was — and after you read a poem just knowing you can hold it, you can be in that space of the poem. And it can hold you in its space. And you don’t have to explain it. You don’t have to paraphrase it. You just hold it, and it allows you to see differently. And I just love that. I mean, I think that’s what I’ve been trying to say all these years.” (The word yutori has also been used to describe a change in Japanese education. “Yutori is a Japanese education policy which reduced the hours and the content of the curriculum in primary education – Wikipedia.com)
 
I am using the definition of spaciousness.
 
Yutori – spaciousness
 
Yutori is what is called the negative space
 
the space between the words
 
the space between the notes
 
the space outside the figure the artist paints or draws
 
the space which firmly but gently holds the sculpture
 
the warm amniotic space which holds the heart
 
the space which hold the memories
 
the memory of a loved one long past
 
the memory of falling asleep to the sounds
 
of being read to
 
the memory of that first ah ha moment
 
before someone tells you it is not safe
 
to open your arms wide.
 
Yutori is that space between the outstretched arms
 
of the child who knows love is this much.
 
Yutori is that space for the new poem, the new music,
 
the new novel, the new building, the new ….
 
That space yet to be filled in.
 
It is the hope
 
The Kirkegaardian leap of faith.
 
Yutori is where we find
 
the miracle
        
         of peace.
 
 
Written July 30 2016

​Greeting the day
 
I greet the day.
 
The day greets me.
 
The mirror shares a face with me.
 
Later the magic of the internet
 
allows me to greet many who share this journey.
 
I greet
 
my body as each piece of gym equipment calls,
 
Me!  Me! Me!
 
First I make the circle to embrace the rest who gather.
 
That little box above the treadmill brings the news of
 
my extended family
 
News of hope, love, fear, violence, political conventions
 
I greet the day
 
The day greets me
 
Requiring nothing except I show up
 
At Panera’s I get my coffee, open the laptop
 
Oh!  There is Tom.
 
I open my arms. He stiffens
 
thrusting out his erect arm to
 
ensure that …
 
Ensure that I keep my distance?
 
Less I ..
 
Lest I what?
 
Embrace him?
 
Always I have reached out to embrace
 
not thinking to offend or  frighten
 
Yet I know
 
I know some need the distance of the erect arm.
 
I have had 76 years to learn and yet…
 
The heart leads as if all the world will welcome
 
the embrace.
 
Not yet.
 
I greet the day. The day greets me.
 
Written July 29, 2016