​Grandma says: “It is not getting done sitting here.”  - walking the talk
 
My sister Bonnie was remarking the other day that she enjoys my memories of Grandma Fannie as related in the series, Grandma says.  Since I left home, never to return, except for brief visits, at age 18, she did not realize how closely Grandma Fannie and I stayed in touch –  mostly via letters.  
 
Once again, I questioned my memory and whether the sage advice I attribute to Grandma Fannie really came from her or from one of the other wise and generous elders in my life.  It does not really matter.  All that I attribute to Grandma Fannie certainly fits the woman I knew her to be. Sadly, I decided some time ago that I could not keep all the stuff I had carried around with me for many years and many moves.   That “stuff” included many of the letters she had written including the letter she wrote the week she died and which I received the week after she died- another reminder that her teaching had not ended but perhaps moved to another plane.
 
As a child, I suspect that I had very little understanding that adults such as Grandma Fannie got as tired as I did.  In my memory, she had an endless supply of energy, required very little sleep and had no need to rest. Long after we finished outside chores she expected us to do our intellectual, artistic and spiritual chores.  In my mind, she obviously did not appreciate our profound exhaustion when she said, “It is not getting done sitting here.” 
 
I was thinking of this yesterday as I joined others in a peace march, a community sharing, a meal and the experience of “church” (The African American Community turns the word into a verb.).  Among those attending were adults of various ages and backgrounds.   Many of those attending I knew. Many I did not. Among those I knew were Pat, Susan, John, Sister C, Tim, Janet, Diane, Kelly, Owen, Darrell, and many others.  Some of these are now in their eighties.  All those with whom I have lived and worked since I first came to Wheeling many years ago are older than my earliest memories of Grandma Fannie. In fact, she was relatively young as I now view that stage of life – early forties.   
 
Also, present yesterday was the mayor of the City of Wheeling who read the proclamation honoring Martin Luther King Jr. from the City Council.   Mayor Elliott was not more or less important than the rest of those attending, but he is in a unique leadership position.   It is one thing to issue a proclamation and to say that one supports the healing of a community – the building of a truly inclusive community – a community in which all truly feel welcome at the table where decisions are made and which will result in meaningful action.    It is quite another to “walk the talk.”  This is a phrase which is often heard in the community of the 12- step programs.  One can learn all the recovery cliques, but if one does not do the work of recovery, the addiction will reclaim the life of the individual. 
 
Since my return to live in my adopted home of Wheeling it seems that he and the city council are determined to walk the walk.  Consequently, there is a new energy in the community. This energy can help to ensure that all citizens feels welcome.  Whether one is reading one of the new ordinances supporting the rights of the GLBT community or the veteran’s community, noticing the building (new and renovations) going on downtown or experiencing a broader representation of the community at the Martin Luther King Jr. celebration events there are breezes of change - breezes which threaten to become winds of change.   
 
It appears that many in the Wheeling community have decided that “It is not getting done sitting here.”    Fortunately, they are able to join those who have been practicing walking the talk for many years – those who have kept the light lit.   I am well aware that many of those now in their fifth, sixth, seventh and eighth decades have been tired for a long time, but they keep getting up to walk the talk.  Fortunately, there are also younger people joining these tired and tireless elders.
 
As is often true at events marking the work of such people as Martin Luther King Jr., voices rang out with “We shall overcome.” It is important to remember that Martin Luther King Jr., Ralph Abernathy and many others were “merely” building on the work which had been carried on by the wise ancestors. There has always been the small core group who carried the light.  They have always welcomed all who are willing to join them in “getting it done.”
 
The words of the first verse and the chorus of Charles Tindley’s famous gospel song continue to ring out:
 
         We shall overcome
         We shall overcome
         We shall overcome some day
 
         Oh, deep in my heart
         I do believe
         We shall overcome
         Some day.
 
We shall indeed overcome but only if we heed the advice of Grandma Fannie: “It is not getting done sitting here.”
         
 
Written January 16, 2017
 
 

​Honestly tickled 
 
I get so tickled 
 
when your thinking
 
matches my thinking.
 
How arrogant of me to think that you are 
 
Validating
 
My thinking.
 
Honesty perhaps should be 
 
         embarrassing. 
 
Do I really think I am the 
 
         center
 
of your thoughts 
 
or that it matters 
 
if your thinking matches my thinking.
 
Yet
 
to be honest 
 
I am tickled.
 
 
Written January 14, 2017
 

​Teaching ethics – teaching system theory
 I recently wrote about ethics and the increasing tendency to understand ethics to be a list of rules which the governing body of organizations considers and then publish as rules.   Often it seems an attempt is made to cover every possible scenario. Usually the advice is to err on the side of caution.   I lamented that often it would seem that the assumption is that individuals, regardless of their formal education, are unable to articulate and use their core values to delineate what is ethical in a particular situation. 
 
It will come as no surprise to my readers that this morning I was listening to this week’s podcast of On Being in which the host, Krista Tippett,  has a conversation with some person who is often in the forefront of challenging the rest of us to think more deeply about some spiritual issue. This week she is having a conversation entitled “Tech’s moral reckoning” with Anil Dash.  Ms. Tippett describes Mr. Dash as “A wildly popular blogger, tech entrepreneur, and Silicon Valley influencer.”  
 
He says that he has always been fascinated by and interested in systems.  Of particular interest to him is that technological tools such as the google, social media and many others are being developed at an amazing speed with little or no concern for the fact that all such tools are based on system theory and exist in systems.  Yet, seldom, if ever, does one find a required ethics course in the curriculum of a computer hardware or software major.  Even in my chosen field of psychology ethics may or may not be taught as a set of rules. In my experience, there may be little taught about the process of how to think about the fact that every action we take, no matter what the tools or situation, takes place in a larger system. One cannot do A without it affecting B which affects C, D and E which affects…   
 
As I have often discussed,  one must begin with something as basic as the Hippocratic Oath and then have a way of examining how to apply the core of that oath in various situations and in the context of the system of tools one is using.  Sadly, not everyone can have the luxury of studying philosophy for four years before one goes on to study a special discipline.  On the other hand, one can begin to teach the application of systems theory as soon as one begins to work with/parent/ teach very young children. If anyone has any doubt that very young children understand the rudiments of systems theory observe how quickly they learn to operate a hand held computer device, the television or other pieces of technology.  They quickly learn if you push button A it produces result Y which may then result in being able to …      They may not expand their understanding of those basic laws to how their behavior affects other people. Yet, if they are capable of using system theory the only stumbling block to them learning to think about how all their actions affect others is only limited by the ability of we adults to think in terms of systems and to accept that children naturally think in terms of systems.
 
What children (and many of we adults) are not good at is “coloring inside the line” – obeying a list of rules which stifle all creativity.
 
When other so called adults ask me about my educational background I tell them that I have studied systems.  My scholastic work in engineering, philosophy, theology, and psychology is clearly all about how pieces fit together and affect each other as well as the surrounding environment.  In my mind this is all I have ever studied.  Whether I look at the internal workings of a human body,  the organization of the parts of a ship, building or some other object and how it plays with the environment – water, air, people, other machines or structures – the study of our role in the universe or the relationship of one part of history to another, I am a student of systems. 
 
If we want to create a more peaceful, healthy, fun, creative, beautiful, just society we will begin to teach the larger applications of system theory as soon as we begin to teach children.  We will then continue to make room in all academic disciplines for how we think about how we use information and other tools and how that use affects all else.  
 
As Mr. Dash suggests computers, social media, google, and other technological innovations are merely tools to be used in pursuit of goals based on the presence or absence of moral values.
 
Written January 14, 2017
 

​Sunday Musings – January 15, 2017
 
I am not sure whether I am amused, appalled, frightened or just bored with the twitter activity of certain citizens of the United States including the man who will be sworn this week as the 45 President of the United States of America. 
 
On this Sunday, I will participate in some of the activities to honor the memory and the work of Martin Luther King Jr., a man whose work and life also engendered passionate positive and negative responses.  I recall a woman military officer to whom I reported suggesting that while she was concerned about such issues as racism she thought that more could be accomplished by going through normal channels and not stirring up so much passion.   At that time, I had not claimed the words or the courage to remind her that normal channels had not worked.  At that time in the Washington, D.C. area my colleague Al and I were regularly denied service at many area restaurants.  Although I cannot remember the context that was also the period in my life when I said something which led Al to think I had been so insensitive to use the word “boy” to refer to him.   No matter what I did nor did not say, that was a good reminder that I needed to be very clear about some of the language I used and in what context I used it. Long before Twitter, language had been used to remind individuals and groups where they belonged on the continuum of moral and constitutional rights.  Just the other day I was again reminded that there is a long list of words which have been historically used to distinguish between those who are deserving of respect and a livable wage and those who are not. Certainly, the use of the word boy was used to remind African Americans that they were not deserving of adult respect and rights.    My grandmother was reminded of the same thing when she was clearly labeled a seamstress and not a tailor.
 
Although a link to my blog is published on Twitter and my daily blog is published on Facebook, I am one of those dinosaurs who does not chat or issue brief pronouncements or reminders of “the truth” on twitter or other social media pages.
 
Since it was announced that Mr. Trump won the requisite number of electoral votes but not the popular election I have daily, it seems, received invitations to join in written and in-person protests of this new administration and the policies some fear he might institute.    At the same time, I receive many invitations to join in the grief of saying goodbye to President Obama and the policies and programs for which he fought.
 
I was among those who cried with relief and hope when it was announced that Barack Obama would be President of the United States.  I am grateful to have lived long enough to celebrate the victory of a man who is generally identified as African American - given how we make that social designation in the United States.  Since that time, I have lauded and disagreed with many of the actions of he and his administration.  Never once have a failed to appreciate what I think are his intentions or hopes.
 
I am also among those who upon being told the results of the most recent Presidential election in the United States was surprised and somewhat embarrassed for the United States.  Actually, I had been embarrassed with the behavior of both the candidates for some time prior to the election. Still, I expected to celebrate and support the election of the first woman to be elected to that august office in the United States.
 
I was quickly resigned to the fact that Mr. Trump is the new President of the United States.  I know it is incumbent on me to keep an open mind while offering positive alternatives to those actions and policies with which I disagree.  I was not prepared for the continuation of the election style negative approach by both the President Elect and those with whom I might otherwise more often (not always) align myself.
 
Certainly, there was a time when I assiduously worked to earn the title of which former Vice President Agnew so famously applied to many of us – effete snobs.  While my belief system and passion might have come from a very sincere and thoughtful place, I often joined those who could be as negative and arrogant as those with whom we disagreed.  Some of that was excused because of our youth.
 
Youth cannot be claimed as a defense by many of those who are protesting the election of Mr. Trump or what might be seen by some as his continuing use of a negative, reactionary approach.
 
One of the many characteristics of Martin Luther King Jr. was what I experienced as his ability to appeal to what is best in all of us.  For the most part, in my memory, his “I have a dream” speech appealed to many of us because of the hope and courage it lit in the hearts of many of us.  I read again the following section of this famous speech:
 
“But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. So, we have come to cash this check — a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quick sands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God’s children.”
 
The official day of commemorating the legacy of Dr. King is Monday, but in many communities, the celebrations began on Sunday.   Again today the legacy of Martin Luther King calls us to vote with our feet and our voice. He calls us to proclaim our vision for the world which we inhabit - a world which includes John Lewis, Barack Obama, Donald Trump, Franklin Graham, our Muslims brothers and Sisters, our Jewish mothers and fathers, our neighbors who profess no religion but intense spirituality, our LGBT sons and daughters,  our young, our old, those who suffer with addiction and other diseases and those who are differently abled.  We are called to the courage of a vision which has room at the table for all of us including President elect Trump.
 
Written January 15,2017
 
 
 
 
 

​The Gods have spoken. The saints have arrived.
 
I have often been accused of thinking issues and situations to death.  Once a thought or a desire or a goal grabs hold of me I become 200% committed to making it happen.  It does not matter whether it is realistic or not. I am determined that I will make it happen.  If I am taking a test I will spend more energy willing myself to pass than I might in preparing to take it. If I have decided that the God of my understanding with the help of all the saints who have preceded me have sent this  stranger who is within 1000 yards of my sight as THE lifelong partner – the partner who is going to be amazingly passionate, emotionally and spiritually healthy, interesting, self-supporting and a wealthy  socialist with a clear conscience then so be it!   It will be so!
 
It was this very attitude I carefully packed before taking a trip to the Jersey shore some years ago.  I arrived, settled into the condo a friend had generously lent me, and headed out for dinner.  As so often happens in resort communities the restaurant and bar had a singer that night – a Linda Ronstadt double in looks and talent.  Instantly, just as I sat down, the saints arrived to remove my heart and hand it on a borrowed platter to this vision.  Since she was now in possession of my heart, I had no choice but to plan the surgery which would insert her heart into the space vacated by mine.  Time was of the essence.  Not only was my stay to be  brief, but I assumed she was in town only for the weekend gig. I grabbed my pen, tore out a journal page and jotted down the poem which would tear at the binding which held her heart.
 
My love, my love, my love
The Gods have spoken
Tonight
Tonight
Tonight
We will seal our love with a kiss
The beach 
Midnight!
 
The waitperson delivered the announcement.  Yes, not a poem. An announcement of the fate which had been sealed.
 
Of course she joined me. I now wonder why, but then I knew, of course, it was because the Gods, through my announcement, had made it clear that her destiny was my destiny and …
 
 
So began two nights of walking on the beach with my intended.
I did not need mere food or water. My cup runneth over with her beauty.  I knew the next stop was the Justice of the Peace, home, children, and eternal bliss.  Her melodious voice would nightly serenade me.  The children would complete the family singing sensation.
 
Time to leave. “Alas, alas”  she says: “I must go home to my fiance.” What I say?  Tell him. Tell him that the Gods have spoken. The saints have exchanged our hearts. We are one.  Call him! “No,” she says  “I cannot go with you.”  You can, I say. She floats away,  the aspiration she obviously is.
 
I drive out of town tears streaming down my face. I cannot see to drive.  I drive back to town to her hotel. I drive out of town. I drive back.  Finally. I must accept that she is gone and I drive home.
 
For days and then weeks I write poem after poem after poem.  Yet…
 
562 words
 
Written January 11, 2017

​School Bells – Current Affairs – Grade 1 – Week 21 – learning to listen
 
I am eager to see how the young scholars did with their assignment to practice listening skills with their family members.  
Listening is not easy for any of us,  no matter what our age.  
 
Here are the scholars now.
 
Me:  Good morning scholars.  How are you?
 
Class.  Good morning Mr. Jim.   Cookies?
 
Me:  No cookies today, but I will bring some next week.
 
I am eager to hear what you discovered about listening.  Who wants to share?
 
Sue:  It was really hard Mr. Jim.  I know what I heard but then mom and dad kept telling me that I did not hear what they said.
 
Me:  How did you let them know what you heard?
 
Tara:  Just like you said.  I repeated exactly what I heard, but then they would say that is not what they said  The same thing happened with my brother and sister.
 
Me:  Can you give an example Tara?
 
Sue:  They said “Have a good time.”  I heard,  “Be careful Tara.”
 
Me: That is a great example Tara.  I bet that  when you first started learning to use the wheelchair on your own they said, “Be careful Tara a lot.”
 
Tara: Yes.  A lot!
 
Me: Although our ears carry the sound vibrations, our brain interprets them.   When you were very little you just heard sounds.  You did not know how to speak words and did not know what they meant.  Then you began to store words to match the vibrations in your brain.   
 
Ahmes: Sound vibrations?
 
Me:  Yes. If we could clearly see the sound it would look like this.
 
(I draw a sample on the board.)
 
Sofia:  In our Italian family everyone talks a lot.  There must be a lot of funny lines in the air at once!
 
(Everyone laughs.)
 
Me:   I am sure that the air would look  very busy if we could see all the sound waves!
 
At any rate, as we learn language we begin to remember what we hear a lot.  So, Tara, if you heard  “Be careful” a lot you might get in the habit of not listening because you know or think  you know what they are going to say.  Just like I expect all of you to ask about cookies.  So even if you do not I might be “sure” you had.
 
Steve:  As soon as my dad started talking I said, “I am going to do my chores.”  Mom and my brother said he said, “I am really proud of you.”  I did not hear that because I was already defending myself.
 
Me: That is a great example Steve. Then what happened?
 
Steve:  He said it again.  Everyone in our family had a terrible time hearing what was actually said.
 
Me: Even the adults?
 
Steve:  Yes.  We laughed a lot but they always heard us whining or asking for something.
 
Me:  Yes.  Most adults do not do any better than we did as kids.
 
Susie:  Why it is so important that we hear Mr. Jim?   Perhaps we could just point to stuff most of the time.
 
Me:   I do not think that would work much better Susie.  We also see with your brains.  We see what we expect to see.  We will practice that next week.
 
Sam:  Our family did better when we would just say one word and have another one in the family repeat back the one word.
 
Me:  I can understand why that might work for many of us sighted people. 
 
Sam:  It did not work all the time.  If the word was yes and we expected it to be no, we would hear no.
 
Me:  How was this exercise helpful class?
 
Tara:  Our family did not argue as much because we usually only argue about who said or did something.   If we don’t hear or see well it is difficult to argue or we start to remember and start laughing.
 
Me:  That is a great reminder Tara.  Thank you.  Did anyone else learn anything from this exercise?
 
Steve:  Our family found out that it was really hard for adults to hear children and it was really hard for children to hear adults. We also found out we heard dad better than mom.
 
Me: That is fascinating.  Do you have any ideas about the reason for that?
 
Steve:  What you said before Mr. Jim.  We kids decided that parents do not have anything new to say and adults do not think that children have anything to say.  Mom said that we are taught to pay more attention to what guys say and to ignore woman a lot.
 
Me: Wow!  You all learned a lot.  I recommend that all of us keep practicing listening.  For next week I would like you to do a similar experiment with your families only this time it is about seeing.  You can do this by pretending you are a reporter and then saying what you saw.  This could be watching family members do something, watching a television show together or just picking out something public and two or more of you reporting on that.  I have written this down.    Tommy and Ahmes will you had out the papers please?
 
Ahmes and Tommy hand them out.
 
Me:  Great job.  I learned a lot today.  Have a good week.
 
Class: Goodbye Mr. Jim.  Cookies next week!
 
Me: I won’t forget!
 
Ring!  Ring!  Ring!
 
Written January 11, 2017
 

​School Bells -  Current Affairs – Grade 8 – Week 21  
Etiquette – What does it mean?  Who decides?
 
One of the subjects which the eighth grade students and their families suggested for discussion was etiquette. What is it? Who decides the rules?
 
I am looking forward to meeting with the students to learn how they and their families approached this subject.
 
I hear the students arriving.
 
Me:  Good morning  class.
 
Class: Good morning Mr. Jim. Cookies?
 
Me:  No cookies.  Next week.  I promise.   I am eager to hear what you and your families think about etiquette. What does it mean?  Who decides?
 
When I was growing up, I recall learning that etiquette generally referred to rules for behavior in social situations other than the ‘down home” behavior expected at family or community gatherings.  The authority to which I was referred was Emily Post. Her book on etiquette came out in 1922.  Many households had a copy of her book and, if not, the local library was sure to have one.
 
In the 1970ies, Judith Martin, better known as Ms. Manners, was the authority for the everyday person.   
 
I think it was the United States Navy who first introduced me to the concept of protocol which I understood to refer to etiquette – that behavior which was appropriate when one was visiting or dealing with people from other countries and cultures.    When I was appointed a Midshipman in the United States Naval Academy, I was introduced to the rules which determined the behavior of an officer and gentleman.   The first day of the Academy those of us who were coming from the ranks of the enlisted service were informed: “You men are not just nobody anymore. You are officers and gentlemen.”  Clearly we were to learn that those who were now served meals by lowly enlisted men while we sat at 12-person tables in our dress uniforms were special and had rules to show we were special. 
 
Apparently, recently when the president of Taiwan was meeting with Governor Greg Abbott and they exchanged gifts, Governor Abbott  was not briefed on the symbolism of  his gift of a clock. “According to the Taiwan news, the phrase “giving a clock…is a homophone with ‘attending a funeral,’ expressing an untimely demise for the recipient.”   Clearly neither the Governor nor his aides checked with Ms. Manners or Ms. Post  who surely would have advised them to ensure that their choice of gift did not have particular meanings in the Taiwan culture.
 
I do not know that any of us will be in a similar position one day, but we certainly could be.  If you met the love of your life and he or she was from a different culture such as Taiwan one certainly would not want to give an offensive gift to the parents of your intended!
 
Who wants to share?
 
Paul:  We started as you always tell us Uncle Jim.  We looked up the word in the Merriam Webster dictionary.  We found:
“One definition of the French word étiquette is "ticket" or "label attached to something for identification." In 16th-century Spain, the French word was borrowed (and altered to "etiqueta") to refer to the written protocols describing orders of precedence and behavior demanded of those who appeared in court. Eventually, "etiqueta" came to be applied to the court ceremonies themselves as well as the documents which outlined the requirements for them. Interestingly, this then led to French speakers of the time attributing the second sense of "proper behavior" to their "étiquette," and in the middle of the 18th century English speakers finally adopted both the word and the second meaning from the French.”  (patch.com)
 
Then mom suggested we look up the word manners which we did on line at dictionary.com.   We found:
 
1125-75; Middle English manere < Anglo-French; Old French maniere ≪ Vulgar Latin *manuāria, noun use of feminine of manuārius handy, convenient ( Latin: of, pertaining to the hand). See manus, -er2
 
We decided that etiquette means behavior which is handy or expected in certain circumstances.   
 
Me: What do your folks think it is important to learn about etiquette Paul?
 
Paul:  They said it was important for Sam and me to learn what is expected in certain situations so that we will not draw unwanted attention to ourselves   For example,  mom talked about what one is to wear if one is arguing a case before the United States Supreme Court.  One wants the justices to hear what one has to say and not to pay attention to what one is wearing.
 
Ann:  I heard one lawyer wore everything but the right shoes. He wore sneakers.  I also heard that women are told not to wear open toe shoes to court if they are a lawyer.  Some people think that too much attention is paid to how women dress in court.
 
Me:  Paul, thanks for information. Ann you bring up the issue of whether there are different rules for men and women because of how we have generally viewed women.
 
Ann: My Aunt Betty was visiting us.  She is a lawyer and she says that she has always been criticized for looking took sexy or too plain and not respectful. 
 
Me: It sounds as if some rules of etiquette can go back to suggesting a class distinction or a gender distinction. 
 
Abdul:  We talked about the difference between rules of convenience and rules to make it seem as some people are better than others.  
 
Me:  That is a great point Abdul.
 
Will:  In the African American community sometimes if we act a certain way we are accused of trying to act like white people.
 
Me: Good point Will. I recall that some behavior in the Tlingit Community of Hoonah such as keeping a perfect lawn would be seen as acting like the white man.  The white people thought that their ways showed that they were superior.
 
Amena:  My parents and I decided that it was nice to know the rules but to not take them seriously.   For example, dad set the table with 4 forks, three different size spoons and two knives.  He said it was important to learn to feel comfortable if one was seated at a table with that much silverware.
 
Susie: All I want to know is who had to wash, dry and put away all that silverware.
 
(The students laugh.)
 
Me: Good point. Who did do the cleaning up when there was lots of silverware and dishes?
 
John:  We talked about that.  A lot of people had servants.
 
Tom:  In our family we have to say please and thank you.  When talking to adults we children are expected to say mam or madam and sir.
 
Amena: In some cultures they bow and in some they hug and air kiss.
 
Me:  So there are a lot of different behaviors which we can learn to show respect to different people.  Do these kinds of behaviors tell us who is a good person?
 
Ann: No, not exactly, but some behaviors tell us if we care about each other. Is that etiquette also?
 
Me: I think so. I appreciate things like please and thank you. I also love it when I get handwritten thank you notes, but that alone does not tell me whether someone is a good person.
 
I recall a quote from Samuel Clements who we know a Mark Twain. He said something like:  The truly educated person is one who can be comfortable with hobos  all day and then go to dinner at the White house and be comfortable.  He or she knows they belong both places with both set of people.   (I could not find this quote and I may be misquoting or attributing it to the wrong person.)
 
Ring!  Ring!  Ring!
 
Me:  Goodness that time with fast.  Great job. Thank you.  You have a list of topics. Next week we will be discussing what it means to be patriotic when one can change countries.
 
Written January 10, 2017
 

​Grandma says:  Child, fix what is broken!
 
Some of my earliest memories alternate between living in the city of Chicago and living in the country in Oklahoma. By the time I was in the second grade we had made our last move from Chicago so that Grandma and Grandpa Pickett could have their only child, my father, and his family living close to them.  As a very young child I recall riding the horse around in a circle. The horse was the motor for the equipment which created bales from the freshly cut hay. At least that is my memory.  Later, as we children grew, we were given more responsibility on the farm.  Although it was clear that the person power – even that of young children – was very useful, in my memory it is clear that our grandparents, especially the former Oklahoma territory teacher, Grandma Fannie’s, primary goal was to teach us the life lessons which would serve us throughout our life journey. These lessons were often the same one taught by our parents or my favorite aunt and uncle, but somehow when taught by the “schoolmarm” Grandma Fannie they stuck to my young brain more.  Perhaps she had a mental version of the horse hoof glue which she used to attach these lesson to our young brains!
 
At any rate, one of the lessons which has been in the forefront of my mind lately is:   “Child, fix what is broken.”   This lesson had a double meaning.   It might mean, “Quit attempting to use a broken piece of equipment. Take the time to fix it.  Do not leave it broken for someone else to fix.”  It also might mean, “Take the time to identify what is truly the problem and fix that rather than rushing and perhaps breaking what is not broken.”   This schoolmarm lesson has been coming to mind when I read about the determination to fix The Affordable Care Act by repealing it and then, perhaps, gradually, introducing a replacement plan.   There is no doubt in my mind that the plan is not working well for millions of people in the United States.   Many have enormous deductibles and monthly premiums which are using a huge share of the monthly individual or family budget.    Many more are covered by the program entitled Medicaid whose increasing cost must be shared in an ever increasing amount by states which simply do not have the money.  Often making a decision about which insurance coverage is the best one would overwhelm and confuse even those with multiple graduate degrees. Then there is the donut hole, the profit driven pharmaceutical companies,  and many other issues which have left many having to choose between paying for health care or paying for other basic needs for themselves and their families.    Health care cost for citizens in the United States continues to be the highest of any so-called developed nation.  There may be many reasons for this.  
 
If we are going to adhere to Grandma Fannie’s advice, we would be well served to more clearly identify the problem or problems which need fixed.  This might entail backing off from what is politically expedient and what might satisfy a certain group of people.  We, as a nation, might have to first answer some basic questions such as:
 
·      Is health care a basic right?
·      What level of health care is a basic right?
·      Does basic health care include mental health care, lifesaving drugs, and  decent housing at all stages of the life journey?
·      Can health care be profit driven and most effectively serve the needs of all the citizen?
·      Do we really believe that all citizens are deserving of the same level of care or are some more important to the nation and more deserving?
·      Do we want to continue to attempt to extend the life span of individuals who have no quality of life?
·      Who determines the meaning of quality of life?
·      Should medical school be paid for out of tax money as it is in many other countries?
·      Should health care professionals make more money than school teachers or other professionals?
·      Do we have anything to learn from countries who provide good health care  for everyone – socialized medicine?
·      Do physicians who make a lot more money than the average person have a more qualitative life?  Have we studied correlation of salaries over $150,000.00 and mental health?
·      Do we really believe that those who are good people are able to make the money to procure good health care?
·      If we do not believe in planned parenthood services – education, contraceptives, and occasionally abortion- are we willing to provide quality care for all children?
·      Is education a part of health care?
 
I am sure that there are many other questions which need to be articulated and seriously examined prior to making a decision to repeal the Affordable Care Act and enact a replacement plan.  Surely these are questions which all of us or most of us can agree need to be addressed. To be sure, they are difficult questions which may challenge the core of who we think we are as a nation.  Yet, Grandma Fannie would insist:  “Fix what is broken.  First decide what is broken.”
 
Written January 9, 2017 
 

​Sunday musings – January 8, 2017
 
I have been given the gift of time on yet another Sunday to gather the various concerns, joys, and questions which have been roaming around inside my brain this week.   As I sit here typing I am particularly aware of:
 

• Marie Popova with whom Krista Tippett had a conversation on May 09, 2016. The talk was entitled “Mapping Meaning in a Digital Age”.  Ms. Popova is author of Brain Pickings which one can sign up to receive via email.  The entire conversation tickled my brain, but, at this moment, I am particularly aware of the following which Ms. Popova said: 

“Well, there are certain core beliefs, I guess. I think a lot about the relationship between cynicism and hope. Critical thinking without hope is cynicism, but hope without critical thinking is naïveté. I try to live in this place between the two, to try to build a life there. Because finding fault and feeling hopeless about improving our situation produces resignation, of which cynicism is a symptom, a sort of futile self-protection mechanism. But on the other hand, believing blindly that everything will work out just fine also produces a kind of resignation, because we have no motive to apply ourselves toward making things better. I think in order to survive, both as individuals and as a civilization, but especially in order to thrive, we need to bridge critical thinking with hope.”

• Reading that 30% of West Virginians on Medicaid and that WV is not the state with the highest percentage. That is New Mexico.  Massachusetts is not far behind at 29.5 %. Massachusetts also had some of the wealthiest communities in the United States.
• Dylan Roof may be sentenced to death.  He apparently is unable to feel remorse for his racially motivated killings. 
• A coach loses his teaching license and is sentenced to prison for sexting a student.  In reading these and similar stories I am unable to gleam any compassion by the author of the articles for the person about whom they are writing.
• The Affordable Care Act May be repealed with or without a replacement program. Little mention is made of the salaries of insurance executives or other issues which increase the cost of care.
• The person being considered for the new United States Secretary of State takes a loss in leaving his contract and may only receive 180 million.
• Denzel Washhington has done a masterful job  with the movie version of the August Wilson play Fences.
• Cold grips large portions of the United States. I think of the homeless or those living with no or minimal heat.
• Many are writing about, talking about, and attempting to find new approaches to the large number of people whose lives are controlled by addiction to drugs including alcohol and other substances.  In the meantime little is mentioned about addiction to sex, looking good/young, stuff, money, something called prestige, or the illusion of power.
• The loving notes I get from many via text messages, email and facebook messaging from people who are new depths to their love and their ability to make a difference in the lives of many.
• The note that I just got from several people about the miracles of their recovery from active addiction.

 
Many other bits of news and thoughts roam across the surface of my mind.  Some of them penetrate the shell which covers my heart - just enough to keep me from succumbing to hopelessness and perhaps cynicism.
 
Again I am reminded of the yen and yang – the contradictions – the amazing possibility of this universe of which we are a part alongside the devastation created when we run from ourselves and each other.
 
It would be easy to allow myself to so humbled by the creative talent and selfless energy of many I know that I am  paralyzed by the thought of my meager offerings. Yet, I know that the simple acts of kindness which others show me are often enough to lift me up and out of myself. 
 
I have no answers to the large issues. Yet, I can take time to text, call or write someone who is struggling  - just to say I am thinking of them or to ask for advice or … I can hold door for someone, play it forward as someone did at a toll both with me a few weeks ago, zip up my lips and practice loving without expectations even if I am not feeling it at the moment.
 
It is all these moments which will open the hearts of those who will decide about health care, the fate of those who hearts and brains do not allow them to feel compassion, prick the well of courage of those are struggling with life threatening addition which will allow all of us – certainly this human – to own our own addictions which we may call attachments – sounds so much more loftier and spiritual.
 
Last but not least I will allow my brain to rest on this cold, January morning grateful for the luxury of Sunday musings.
 
Written January 8, 2017
 
 
 
 

​Can’t wait to see Jesus – The right to defend oneself
 
For many people in the United Sates and many in other countries I have visited, there is a fierce belief in a life which follows this earthly life. Some call this heaven, the promised land, Eden, nirvana, paradise or Shangri-La.  Many of these same people strongly believe that it is important that they have the right to protect themselves from those who they perceive to be a danger to them.  
 
As a young child, I often got confused. No place was more likely to find me confused than when I was sitting and listening to a Southern Baptist or a member of another fundamentalist or conservative religion. (Growing up I was only vaguely aware of other religions and, thus, did not always know that the seemingly confusing belief that one could protect the sacredness of life by killing was not limited to one religion.)
 
At any rate, I was sure that as I aged I would become an adult and all the confusion would fall away thus allowing me to understand the synchronicity of what seemed to the child opposing beliefs.
 
At age 76, I continue to await enlightenment.  I am still convinced that one day the good fairy will smite me on the head thereby jarring together the pieces of my brain which will allow me to understand how increased use of violence will lead to less violence.   Don’t get me wrong. I do understand that if a person opens fire in a crowded airport and someone else whips out a firearm and kills the person who opens fire that person will not kill anyone else in this life journey. I also understand that the thinking is that the next person who considers packing a loaded gun or a gun and ammunition in their checked baggage with the intent of shooting people after they claim their baggage will think twice and, perhaps, not do that.  The assumptions seem to be:
·      The person who believes it is his or her duty or right to kill or shoot at others is fearful of dying.
·      The person who believes it is his or her duty or right to kill or shoot at others is able to think logically.
·      The person who believes it is his or her duty or right to kill or shoot others will learn via the threat of violence that the use of violence to deal with one’s fears, frustration, perverted sense of duty to God/Allah or other higher power is wrong. 
I again started thinking about this issue when reading the morning newspaper and discovering that a Florida State Senator, Greg Steube, used the example of the mass shooting by a lone gunman in the baggage area of the Fort Lauderdale airport as a reason why his colleagues in the Florida Senate should support SB 140 which would allow Floridians with a concealed weapon permit to have guns with them in non-secured areas of schools, courthouses and airports. He is quoted in an article on snntv.com:
 
“Every one of these shootings in recent time,” Steube said. “Have all occurred in gun-free zones. They don’t occur in a Walmart or a Publix where people are carrying. They occur in gun-free zones like bars, in college campuses and in airports.” 
 
His argument seems to be that if people can defend themselves with guns then everyone would be safer.  In fact, he seems to be saying that when guns are allowed in areas there is less violence.
 
There are studies the results of which seem to support the argument.  There are also studies which seem to suggest the opposite.  
 
The armedwithreason.com web site quotes Mr. Robert Heinlein:
 
“An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life. “
 
In my mind, behavior which is the result of fear, may be polite but does not make me feel more trusting and will not lead to a society in which I want to live.  I would like to think that there are other and better reasons to treat each other with respect – to treat human life with respect.  
 
It seems to me that once one has decided to use violence or the threat of violence as the primary deterrent to violent behavior that one has eliminated the possibility that a more trusting and cooperative society can be attained.  
The argument can be made and has been made by many philosophers and theologians that an action done out of fear does not result in mutual respect.    We know that when parents use fear as the primary method of teaching, children learn to be fearful and are more likely to use threats and fear as a primary tool for dealing with others. Children who are violently punished learn to avoid the offending behavior because they do not want the violent consequences and not because they learn to believe the behavior is morally wrong. 
 
Certainly, the threat of violence has done little to deter the suicide bomber who is convinced that the God of their understanding will be pleased with them and they be rewarded in an afterlife.
 
Prisons are not known to be non-violent although prisons who house primarily white collar crimes or other non-violent offenders generally have less violence then those which house non-violent offenders.  I suspect that this is because staff at such prisons are not as fearful and are able to more closely identify with the inmates.  Inmates are also less fearful and less likely to mistreat the staff.  It would seem as if respect engenders trust and violence engenders distrust and more violence.  It may be true that in those institutions which house violent offenders and which are maximum security the violence may be more often directed at other inmates than it is the guards.
 
My confusion in this instance (there are many other instances) is that the argument to use violence to reduce violence sidesteps more basic questions such as:
 
·      Is it our belief that humans can only occupy the same space if they are fearful of the consequences of their behavior?
·      Is it our belief that survival of a society at any cost is preferable to the time-limited society?
·      Is violence only wrong if it is directed at those in power and right if it is directed at those without power?
·      If the goal is to stop violence why not use non-lethal means?
·      If we kill all the mentally ill, those who have lost faith/hope and those who believe that the God of their understanding wants them to kill the sinners, who will be left.  I am again reminded again of Martin Niemöller famous statement/poem:
(United States Holocaust Memorial Museum quotes the following text as one of the many poetic versions of the speech.) (Wikipedia)
 
            “First they came for the Socialist
            And I did not speak out-           
            Because I was not a Socialist.
            Then they came for the Trade 
            Unionists, and I did not speak 
            out-
            Because I was not a Trade
            Unionist
            Then they came for the Jews, and       
            I did not speak out-
            Because I was not a Jew.
            Then they came for me – and 
            There was no one left to speak for
            Me.”
 
It is, I am sure, obvious why this quote, once again, came to my mind.   Either there is the humility to know that I could be that person with the gun in the Fort Lauderdale airport – that my mind could be that confused or convinced that violence is the answer to one angst; that I could be Dylan Root; that my head could house the demented brain of Charles Manso; that I could be the psychiatrist, Dr. Hasan; that I could be the drug dealer; that I … or there is no hope for the human race.
 
In my confused mind, using violence or the threat of violence as a road to peace does not make sense; it does not allow for humility – for respect for the fragility of this human brain and the many factors which determine whether or not which person with the gun I will be – the peacekeeper or the one threatening peace.  It does not allow for the possibility that fear cannot be the basis for peace.   It does not allow for the possibility that it is only how well I love that counts in this very brief journey.
 
Written January 7, 2017