​School Bells – Current Affairs – Grade 1 – Week 28
 
I am eager to hear what these young scholars have to say about the topic of how food choices affect our relationship with others.
 
They are arriving now.
 
Me: Good morning class.
 
Class:  Good morning Mr. Jim. Cookies!
 
Me: No cookies today, but I will try to make time for baking before we meet again.  Next week is spring break and I should have plenty of time to bake.
 
I am eager to hear what you and your families think about how our food choices affect our relationships with others. Who wants to start?
 
Sue:  When I am tired or hungry sometimes I get fussy.  Everyone in our family is the same way.
 
Me: That is great observation Sue.  Have others in the class noticed the same thing?
 
Class:  Yes Mr. Jim!
 
Tara: Mom and dad say that when I or my siblings eat a lot of sweets we get very hyper.  Mom says that this is because sugar is like a high-power fuel which does not last long.
 
Steve:   My dad says that the food we eat makes the fuel for the brain.  If it is the wrong fuel our brain will not work well.  I like oatmeal but if I put it in the car gas tank it would not run. In fact, it would be very mad.
 
Me:  If the brain is not working how does that affect how we treat others?
 
Steve: Is it like Sue said.  We can fuzzy or say stupid things?
 
Me: Yes. Do we sometime act as if our brain is not part of our body?
 
Sam:  Uncle Jim it is scary to think that our brain could quit working.  When we go to the nursing home to visit, sometimes the old people say they cannot remember very well.
 
Sofia:  If we eat food with the wrong chemicals our brain will get angry and then we cannot think.
 
Ahmes: When my dad says to eat your vegetables, he is talking for my brain?
 
Me: That is a good way of saying it Ahmes.  
 
Susie: My mom says that exercise also affects the brain.  Is that true Mr. Jim?
 
Me:  Yes, when we move around a lot our brain also gets exercise. The disciple which studies this is mind-body consciousness.
 
Sue:  I have to do exercise even though I am in a wheelchair. 
 
Me:  That is right Sue.  If you did not your upper body would quit working well. You use the upper part of your body a lot Sue. All of the body talks to the brain and the brain talks to the rest of the body.
 
Tara:  If I eat lots of candy and get hyper I get a lot of exercise Mr. Jim.
 
Me:  Good point Tara, but it is more of a nervous movement which does not seem to help the brain much. That movement is partly because how the sugar is affecting the brain.
 
Tommy:  You give us cookies Mr. Jim.
 
Me:  How many do I give you Tommy?
 
Tommy:  Two Mr. Jim and they are not great big.
 
Me:  Two is a treat and does not affect the brain much unless someone is allergic to something in the cookie. Remember at the beginning of the school year when I sent papers to your parents asking if it was safe for you to eat chocolate chip cookies>?
 
Susie:  Sometimes we have a hot dog or pizza. Mom says that is a treat also.
 
Me:  Most of us like treats but sometimes we forget that they are treats.  Most of the time we need to know if the food we eat is going to make our brain work better or worse.
 
Ahmes:  In Egypt we ate differently Mr. Jim.
 
Me:  What happened when you got to this country?
 
Ahmes: At first we stayed with my aunt and uncle and we ate the same.  Then we moved to our own place and wanted to try the food everyone else ate.  We got really sick.
 
Me:  How about now?
 
Ahmes:  Most of the time mom and dad cook as they did in Egypt but sometimes we eat what they call junk food. If we only do that some of the time we are okay.
 
Me: When you were not feeling well did you get fuzzy with each other?
 
Ahmes: Some of the time.
 
Me:  It is really good that you are beginning to think more about feeding the brain.  Let’s write down what we are learning.
 

•       A = food
•       B = chemicals
•       C = brain function
•       D = behavior

 
A = B = C = D 
 
In turn the brain sends messages to the body about what to do with the food which then affects how the body manufactures the chemicals.
 
Sofia:  It is like a merry-go-round Mr. Jim
 
Me: That is true Sofia.  You scholars are so smart.  You teach me also.
 
Next week you will be on spring break.  I hope that you have a wonderful time.   Next time, let’s talk about what other behaviors affect how the brain works. Today we decided that food and exercise affect how the brain works which in terms affects how we treat each other.
 
Sue, will you pass out the assignment please?
 
Sue:  Yes Mr. Jim.
 
Ring!  Ring!  Ring!
 
Class: Bye Mr. Jim.
 
 
Written March 8, 2017
 

​School Bells – Current Affairs – Grade 8 – week 28
 
Soon the students will be on spring break. It seems hardly possible that we are so far along in the school year.  Just the other day I was making plane reservations so I can attend my niece’s graduation from high school.   I was sure she was in grade school and college seemed a distant dream.   As are many bright, passionate young people who love to learn she continues to experiment with how to divide up the mere 24 hours in a day and  seven days in a week.
 
This is the subject for today’s discussion with the 8th graders.  How does one take advantage of currently available technology without allowing that same technology to dominate or take charge of one’s life.  
 
The students are arriving now.
 
Me:  Good morning class.
 
Class:  Good morning Mr. Jim.  Cookies?
 
Me:  No cookies this week.  Perhaps next week if I have time to bake.   I am eager to hear the thoughts of you and your family regarding how one makes use of technology without allowing technology to dominate or take charge of one’s life.  Who is ready to share?
 
Tom:  Our family decided that we would all keep track of how much time we currently average a day or a week on television, radio, the computer, the iPad, the phone for talking, texting and playing games, and the   Xbox.  We also are keep track of how much time we spend on other activities.   Each of us has a daily 3 x 5 card with a grid that mom printed off for us.   On the bottom of the card we can add up the time or each activity.   We are eager to find out the daily and weekly totals.  We decided to do this for two weeks.    Oh, yeah, this is only for time away from regular school time and/or work time.  The week’s results were interesting.  Overall we were all pretty happy with how we are currently dividing up our time.
 
Me: That is great Tom.  Why did your family decide to do that?
 
Tom:  We were fearful that if we just estimated we would not be very accurate or honest with ourselves.
 
Me:  Great.  I find it is helpful for me to take a similar approach.  How did you evaluate the division of time?
 
Tom:  It was difficult.  First we had to decide what activity to track. We decided we wanted to know how much non-work/school time was spent on family time, exercise, eating heathy and friendships and how much on games, non-educational television, social media or other mind-numbing media. It is not very scientific.
 
Me: Still, it means that you are being more intentional about your values and how you spend your time.  It also sounds like a commitment to be honest with yourselves.
 
Abdul:  Our family did not have a lot of access before we came to this country.  We did not have much money when we first arrived and now are clear that nothing can interfere with family or prayer time.   None of us have phones, televisions or computers in our rooms. Even the school iPad has to be used in family areas.
 
Me: That is impressive Abdul.  Do you feel deprived?
 
Abdul: I used to complain that when I visited homes of friends they had televisions and computers in their rooms.
 
Me: What happened when you complained?
 
Abdul:  Mom and dad asked if I wanted them to talk to the parents of my friend about adopting me.
 
Me:  What did you say?
 
Abdul:  Nothing.  I do not want a different family. Now I am older and I appreciate the family rules more. We have a lot of good discussions. 
 
Will:  My grandmother gets really angry if she wants to talk and the television is on or you are playing on your phone.  Once we did not have television or phones for a month. She says, “Do you think that television is putting food on your table?”
 
Me:  How does that feel?
 
Will:  Not good sometimes but we talk a lot in our family and I love to hear the family stories.   I think I am lucky.
 
Amena:  We did not have televisions or computers when I was little. There was only one phone which was the family phone.
 
Ann:  We always had televisions, a computer and phones in our rooms.  When we started this class and you sent assignments home we watched television less and talked more.   Now we have times when there are no phones, televisions or anything allowed. At dinner, only the family is present and we talk now. We sometimes sit for a long time unless there is a planned meeting or something.  Then all of us help clean up and still talk.
 
Paul: Both at your house and our house we are always doing something, frequently in the kitchen such as when Sam and I make cookies at your house Uncle Jim.  Then we do volunteer work, homework, church or go to museums.   Sometimes we watch a movie or some program together and then we make hot chocolate or something and talk about it.
 
Susie:  We have never had any rules and everyone has access to a computer, phones, and televisions. This week we were talking about how living together is different than living separately.  We decided that often we are living as if we are separate. Even though we sit at the kitchen counter to eat we watch television or play games.  We liked that you brought up this topic Mr. Jim.
 
John:  During the week we do not have any rules and do not talk to each other much. On the weekends, we are almost always at the cabin where there is no electricity and we take only one phone for emergencies. 
 
Me: It sounds as this exercise made you and your families think more about these issues.  Some of you had already decided to be intentional about how you spend your time individually and as a family.  I am impressed that each family is exploring ways of not allowing life to just happen.
 
The key does seem to be talking as a family about what is important and how you want to use time each day.
 
Next week, how about we discuss what we should do with people who break the law. We currently incarcerate more people than any other so-called developed nation and have a higher recidivism rate than any other country. Is the system working or do we need a new approach?
 
 
Will,  please hand out the assignment.
 
All you did a fantastic job once. Thanks.   Have a good week.
 
Class: Bye Mr. Jim.
 
Ring! Ring!  Ring!
 
Written March 7, 2017
 

​Grandma said:  “You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.”
 
This particular reminder resonated with us grandchildren since Grandma and Grandpa Pickett lived on a farm.    As I recall, it was shortly after New Year’s day or perhaps it was the first day of the new year when the pig would donate it’s body – not to science - but to the food pantry.   The bladder of the pig would, for a time, become the balloon which we children would play with.   I am not sure what became of the ears of the pig but I do not think it was used for food or any other purpose. (I now know some did use it for food.)  I suppose because the hair on the ear of the pig seems finer/silky  someone reminded a child that appearances were deceiving.    At some point the saying because a metaphor for starting a project with inferior materials or without adequate preparation.
 
Yet, despite the obvious wisdom of this reminder,  I can recall thinking at some point in my childhood that Grandma Fannie and other women I knew were constantly proving the opposite.   Scraps of material, worn out garments and even cloth feed and flour sacks became exquisite intricately designed and flawlessly executed quilts (some have suggested the design of these quilts preceded the recognized artwork of male artists who had the luxury of being called and promoted as artists), dish towels and other useful and attractive items.  Scraps of wool and other material became braided or hooked rugs.  As was true for many so-called less sophisticated tribes/groups there was not a distinction between beauty and usefulness.   When I lived with the Tlingit Indians I marveled at the carved fishhooks, canes, and written history (Totem Poles). My friend Cheryl has dyed wool strips to create intricate paintings which become rugs which grateful recipients use as wall hangings. The bark which is discarded by palm trees became the canvas of many Florida artists.
 
Although I do not want to underestimate the value of the artwork which covers the walls, tables and other surfaces in my home, I am especially in awe of those who take something many of us might discard as useless and create  art which is also very used for feeding the family or for other purposes. 
 
I especially love the pottery bowls, pitchers and other beautiful pieces which often hold flowers, food or drink while reminding me of the beauty which humans can create.   Apparently humans have had this need and ability to create beauty which also serves to nurture in other ways.
 
If one has had the task of “settling the estate” of an elder in the family one has found spools of saved string and many other objects which were saved because someone in the family might use them some day.   Since I am have often moved around the country I find that I often am looking for that used or leftover treasure which I have probably given away or discarded.   Just yesterday I purchased something I would never have previously purchased.   Of course, I realize that occasionally the “stuff” one saves might morph into hoarding which is no longer about beauty or even usefulness.
 
Even pigs’ ears are a part of the diet of some humans and are often prepared as a treat for dogs.  No one, of course, mistakes them for a silk purse which might be sold in a boutique store, but I would not be surprised to find that they too can used to create a thing of beauty.
 
Using the right materials, doing adequate training or preparation or otherwise heeding the intended meaning of this wise  Grandma’s advice is something I treasure. At the same time, I want to appreciate the creativity, frugality, and the wisdom of surrounding ourselves with beauty with which our elders often gifted us.   While it may be easier to purchase items which may temporarily be functional, we may one day find that we are drowning in a sea of “stuff” while ignoring the joy and warmth of a quilt.
 
A little of this, a dash of that, a stich here or a brush stroke there will feed our bodies, fill our hearts and become a servant.
 
Written  March 6, 2017
 

​This place called here
 
Honored guests spoke to me today.
 
The first was the host of people who silently arrived with the epoxy-seal paint which now covers the area of my garage which serves as the entrance and waiting area for my office.   The second was – no surprise – the March 2, 2017 on Being conversation between Krista Tippett and the Irish theologian and poet, Pádrai ò Tuama.  
 
During the conversation, Pàdrai recites a poem and tells a story.  Both challenged me.   The story was about a man attending a two-day encounter. The man had described himself as a fundamentalist Christian.   At the end of the encounter this man says that he has a question for all the homosexuals in the room.  He says, “I want to know how many times since we’ve met together in the last while, have my words bruised you.”
 
One of his poems Pádre ò Tuama recites is:
 
 “Pedagogy of Conflict.”
“When I was a child, / I learnt to count to five: / one, two, three, four, five. / But these days, I’ve been counting lives, so I count / one life / one life / one life / one life / Because each time is the first time that that life has been taken. / Legitimate Target / has sixteen letters / and one / long / abominable / space / between / two / dehumanizing / words.”
 
 
Wow! This poem arrived like a force opening my heart and my mind.    Even though some might think of me as a wordsmith I often need reminded of the power of words to bruise, uplift, nurture, challenge, delight, humanize or dehumanize.
 
Words arrive by people. They arrive directly or indirectly.  Words are both what we verbalize and what we leave unsaid.  
 
Words arrive on or via my IPhone, via the computer, in a book, pamphlet, letter, or from the mouth of a person who is nearby or far away.  Words accompany  all the ingredients I bring home from the green grocer or the can of epoxy-seal pain I bring home from Lowe’s.
 
For me to enjoy the luxury of this gallon of paint many people gathered many ingredients, designed and manufactured machines, carried ingredients via foot or vehicle, met and gathered together to eventually end up in containers which were carried by men and women in boats, cars, planes and some by foot until  I am then able to retrieve this seemingly innocuous can of paint, bring it home where it will leave the can and reside on the floor only to be joined by the feet of all the souls who enter this space.  Each of these people brings a history of thousands of souls.
 
Everything come together to create “here.”
 
These voices which gather in the “here” speak volumes.  The words offered in response will soothe the bruises or create new bruises.
 
Written  March 4, 2017
 
 

​Sunday Musings – March 5, 2017
 
The sun reminds me that there is light; that all is not dark and dreary. In fact, despite the fact of the “blessings” of instant and continuous news of all the discord and violence in the world, I hear that the world, as a whole, is becoming increasingly less violent.   Every source I check, including slate.com, confirms that all types of violence worldwide continues to decrease.  Looking at the graphs of the various types of violence clearly shows a trend of decreasing violence.   Of course, for the person who is experiencing violence either as an individual, a country or a region the trend is not very comforting.  For that person who is a victim of sexual trafficking, rape, murder, or a war related killing/mutilation their pain does not decrease because of trends over time.  Pain is pain.  No family which is torn asunder by the destructive winds of addiction is comforted by trends.  Every family which experiences the loss of home and country counts.  Every child who dies because of hunger counts.
 
In the Christian tradition, this week saw the beginning of the season of Lent which will culminate in the celebration of the resurrection – the new birth -  Easter.  For some believers, the humans Christ who was also the son of God physically rose from the dead and ascended into a place called heaven. For others, the resurrection occurred every time that Jesus held fast to unconditional love as he healed, fed, and loved those that others often found it difficult to love.   He was as clear as the character Bigger Thomas in Richard Wright’s story Native Son that no one could do anything to him “except kill him and that was nothin.”   
 
I am reminded that I must not walk around the person lying in the street.  I must not ignore bullying, the mistreatment of women, or the other ways that us humans continue to hurt each other.  I must constantly challenge myself to be part of the solution and not, through my silence, part of the problem.  At the same time, it is not unkind, insensitive, or thoughtless to celebrate the Easter which arrives many times every day. Already today I have had loving reminders of many friendships – people who act as if they are blind to all my human frailties and misdeeds – of the fact that I am well enough to exercise and can do that without worrying about how I will safely get to and from the gym.  This week I continued to make small improvements to my home, enjoy the amazing music of the Pittsburgh Symphony, work, spend time as a volunteer as an addiction treatment center, and lunch with dear friends I had not seen since my return to this geographical area.
 
On Monday Randy arrived to help me do some repairs and improvements on this home.  The people at Lowe’s welcomed me no less than eight or was it nine times.
 
On Tuesday at the treatment center Dawn challenged us to be intentional about gratitude.  
 
In so many ways I was and am reminded that I am responsible for hourly claiming the resurrection - the possibility of showing up or is that “popping up” with love while not walking around the person lying in the street.
 
Written March 5, 2017
 
 

​Grandma says: “Be slow to anger and quick to forgive.”
 
As a child, it seems that frustration and anger visited me often.  Anger just arrived and took over my body.  Fortunately, I did have some control over my mouth and “knew better” than to verbally respond to adults in a mean or angry way. Adults, however seemed to be able to easily  ascertain when I was angry.    While some adults in my life responded to my anger with anger, I do not recall Grandma Fannie getting angry.  She was more likely to gently remind me that it was important to learn to “be slow to anger and quick to forgive”.   Although there was always a bible close by she did not, to the best of my recollection, sit me down and have me read Numbers 14:18 the first sentence of which reads, “The Lord is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion.”   Perhaps she did not want me to focus on the sentence following this one: 
“Yet, he does not  leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation.”    Despite her being active in a Southern Baptist Church whose preacher seemed very focused on how angry and disappointed God was with his sinful children, she and her sister Beulah seemed to identify more with the gentle example of Jesus who seldom got angry and was always quick to forgive.   Aunt Beulah was a Church of God Minister who, in my memory,  embodied the gentle spirit of Jesus.  I recall her as a woman who had arms perpetually open to embrace and an infectious laugh which seemed to say, “Oh that anger of Jim is just masking that sweet boy who will eventually come to embrace his own human limitations.
 
Perhaps the tough farm life in that unforgiving red clay of Oklahoma, the frequent tornadoes and the relative lack of medical care in those times forced many to accept one’s lack of power and control.    No matter what one did, some disease or the local coyote or other animals might eat all the chickens or infect the cows or horses.  One could not depend on the weather to bring the crops to maturity.    There were constant reminders that one was not in charge.   Either one accepted what was and trusted that with God’s help and by sharing what was available one got by one day at a time or one stayed angry and useless.
 
Perhaps Aunt Beulah reminded her sister, Grandma Fannie of the hymn:
 
"Sweet Beulah Land" Lyrics
Bill Gaither [Gospel] feat. Squire Parsons
I'm kind of homesick for a country
To which I've never been before.
No sad goodbyes will there be spoken
For time, won't matter anymore.
 
There is no way for me to now know how Grandma Fannie and Aunt Beulah decided that the example of Jesus  overrode the judgment predictions in Numbers and other parts of the old testament.    All I know is that the advice to be “slow to anger and quick to forgive” was sage advice for that time and for today.  
 
Grandma Fannie and Aunt Beulah seemed to take to heart that none of us are in a position to  judge others; that we have no scientific way of deciding who is more or less deserving of forgiveness and love.   They seemed constitutionally unable to hide the knowledge that all of us  make grave mistakes and are hurtful to ourselves and others.  Just as Jesus did with the prostitute or Judas they were quick to forgive the most grievous of errors or misdeeds.  Perhaps it was just a realization that life is short and one best be about picking up the pieces and moving one.  
 
At some point, it became clear  to me that neither Grandma Fannie or Aunt Beulah were suggesting that one  be passive or a doormat.   When Grandma Fannie and her husband Grandpa Ed could not find a way to live in loving peace they got a divorce.  Yet, sometime later in 1948 they got remarried.  Grandma Fannie was, however, insistent that forgiveness did not preclude a pre-nuptial agreement which now hangs on my office wall. 
 
I can imagine Grandma Fannie saying to those who hold on to anger and refuse to forgive, “Go to  our room until you can learn how to place nice.  I do not have time for this nonsense.  You need to decide to let go of that terrible anger and to listen to the advice of Jesus.  We have work to do and it does not involve being mean to each other or refusing to forgive each other. How about you write about why it is important to “be slow to anger and quick to forgive”. 
 
It is interesting that the same lessons which Grandma Fannie and Aunt Beulah taught are the ones which most need our attention today.  It seems that the older I get the more I am challenged to unpeel another layer of the very same lessons these wise women taught me so many years ago.
 
Thanks, Grandma Fannie and Aunt Beulah.
 
Written March 3, 2017


 

​School Bells – Current Affairs – Grade 1 – Week 27
Why it is so difficult admitting we made a mistake
 
Last week the first-grade scholars and I talked about  the art of making mistakes. This week the assignment was to talk about why it is so difficult to admit we make mistakes.
 
The young scholars are now arriving
 
Me: Good morning class.
 
Class:  Good morning  Mr.  Jim!   Cookies?
 
Me:  Yes, I have cookies.   Sue, will you hand them out please?
 
Sue wheels around handing out the cookies which are quickly consumed.
 
Me:  I am eager to hear what you and your families members think  are the reasons why so many of us – children and adults – find it difficult to admit it when we make a mistake.
 
Sam:  My brother always thinks he is right. I hate it when he is!
 
Me:  Why do you hate it when Paul is right Sam?
 
Sam:  Because he makes fun of me and treats me like a baby!
 
Me:  You are both very smart Sam.  He is often right  because he is a lot older and has had a lot more time to learn then you have.  You are right a lot of the time too Sam.
 
Sam: It is not easy having an older brother Uncle Jim.
 
Me:  No, it is not.  When we are young we always cannot wait to grow up.
 
Sam:  Will I ever be as smart as he is Uncle Jim?
 
Me:  You already are Sam, but you can only know so much at your age.  As you get older you will be better at some things than Paul is and he will be better at some things than you are.
 
Ahmes:  Sometimes because I sound funny other kids treat me dumb and they call me names.   I am dumb about a lot of things but I  bet if they came to Egypt with me that they would feel dumb too.
 
Me:  So, because we come from a different country or are younger some will make fun of you when you do or say things differently.  We call it a mistake.
 
Ahmes:  In class if I make a mistake you are really nice.  It is easy to admit to a mistake here Mr. Jim.
 
Me:  Both you and Sam are saying that sometime we are fearful of admitting we make a mistake because we think someone will make fun of us or call us names.
 
Tara:  When I get as old as you Mr. Jim no one will make fun of me or call me names if I make a mistake.
 
Me: That is not necessarily true.  Remember before President Trump won the election he and the other candidates made fun of each other a lot. 
 
Tara:  Oh.  Like “lying Hilary”.
 
Me:  Yes.  Anytime one of the candidates made a mistake others would make fun of them.
 
Sue:  I sometimes get afraid that I admit to a mistake others will be mad at me.
 
Me:  Sometimes they will but not always.  Does anyone in here make fun of someone if they make a mistake.
 
Steve:  No, Mr. Jim but they do in other classes.
 
Me: I am sorry about that Steve.
 
Sofia:  Mom says that sometimes in her workplace if someone makes a mistake they get fired.
 
Me: Do they get fired for the first mistake Sofia?
 
Sofia:  I do not know Mr. Jim.   I will ask my mom.
 
Me: What happens at home when you  someone in the family makes a mistake.
 
Sofia:  it depends.  Sometimes we laugh and sometimes we cry.
 
Me:  Are you laughing at each other?
 
Sofia: No. We laugh with each other because we know that all of us make silly mistakes.’
 
Me:   It is fun to laugh with each other and not at  each other.
 
Class:  Yes!
 
Tommy:  Sometimes people go to jail when they make mistakes.’
 
Me:  Yes, that can be very scary.  So, sometimes people are afraid to admit they make a mistake because the might get into trouble such as going to jail. 
 
Susie:  Why do they put people in jail for mistakes?
 
Me: The community decides that some mistakes are worse than others.  For examples if someone get mad enough to hurt someone then the community might be afraid that they will hurt someone else again.
 
Steve:  What if they are really, really sorry?
 
Me:  Sometimes that makes a difference to the judge. Sometimes it does not.  If the judge thinks the person is likely to do the same thing again it may not make any difference.
 
Tommy:  If I think the homework is unfair and I refuse to do it I will get punished.
 
Me:  That is true, but would you admit to why you did not do it and why you thought it was unfair.
 
Tommy: No, because I really just forgot to do it and did not want to admit it.  So  I said it was unfair.
 
Me: Why didn’t you want to admit it Tommy?
 
Tommy:  Because I felt really dumb and my mom had reminded me to do it.
 
Me:  It takes a lot of courage to admit that we made a dumb mistake.
 
Tommy: Do we all make dumb mistakes?
 
Me: Yes, we do.
 
Tara:   Yesterday dad forgot to stop at the grocery store even though mom had reminded him.  
 
Me:  What happened?
 
Tara: Since we live pretty far from the store dad asked everyone if it would be okay to have pancakes for dinner.  We said “Yes.
 
Me:   All of you seem to be saying that in  your home most of the times it is good to admit that one makes a mistake. That is true in this class also.
 
Steve:  if everyone makes mistakes then why is it so hard to admit it Mr. Jim?
 
Me: I am hearing that if we know that on one is going to punish us or make fun of us then it is much easier to admit when we make mistake but if someone might make fun of us or punish us it is much harder.
 
Sue: What about when the mistake is really dumb Mr. Jim.
 
Me:  We all make really dumb mistakes Sue?
 
Sue:  But what is someone get hurt because of a mistake?
 
Me:  Then it can be really scary to admit that we made the mistake.  Is it still important that we admit the mistake?
 
Sam:  That is really hard Uncle Jim.  If I know my brother Paul was going to get punished for my mistakes I would have to go tell on myself.  Once I did not and I felt really bad.  Finally, I  started crying at dinner and had to tell. Then I had to apologize to Paul and my parents.
 
Me: What else happened Sam?
 
Sam: Mom and dad said that some mistakes make others sad but that is not the same as being mad.   In this case I had accidentally broken mom’s favorite vase. She was sad but she said that while we needed to be careful some things are going to get broken.
 
Me:  So I am hearing that:
 

• We need to be careful and avoid mistakes when possible.
• Make it safe to admit when someone makes a mistake.
• Learn from our mistakes.
• Not be so concerned about what others think.
• Not judge someone else when they are afraid to tell the truth about their mistake.

 
You scholars did a wonderful job once again.   I am so very proud of  you.
 
Sam and Ahmes will you pass out the cookies please?
 
They do so.
 
Me: The assignment which I am going to ask Tara to pass out is to discuss with your family how the decision we make about the food we eat affect others.
 
Ring!  Ring!  Ring!
 
Me: Have a wonderful week.
 
Scholars:  You too Mr. Jim!
 
 
Written March 2, 2017
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

​School Bells – Current Affairs – Grade 8 – Week 27 -
Learning we can cope with tough emotional issues
 
Since meeting with this class last week, I have been thinking a and writing about how we learn that we can or cannot cope with really tough issues.   I am eager to hear what the students and their families have to say about whether we can do more to teach the skills needed to address tough issues and at what age humans are capable of learning this skill set.
 
The class members are arriving.
 
Me:  Good morning class.
 
Class: Good morning Mr. Jim.  Cookies?
 
Me:  Yes I have cookies. John and Abdul, will you pass them out please?
 
They pass them out and in a nano-second they are inhaled.
 
Me:  I am eager to hear what you and your family members think we can do to more effectively teach children how to cope with really tough issues.  Who would like to begin?
 
Amena:  My family and I talked about that before we came to this country we knew that there was a lot of danger. There was not any way to keep my siblings and I from knowing about the danger.  We had to learn to deal with issues such as the death of family members and other friends as well as the fact that we were always in danger. 
 
Me: What was that like?
 
Amena:  It was scary but it was also a part of our life. 
 
Me: How did that affect other activities such as going to school.
 
Amena:  Some days we did not go to school but we still had to do homework and all our chores. Sometimes my siblings and I would try to get out of doing homework by pointing out that we might die but it never worked
 
Will:  My parents taught us early on what to do if the police stopped us.
 
Me:  What age did they start teaching you about the dangers?
 
Will:  Really young.
 
Me:  Were they angry about that or did you learn to be angry?
 
Will:  I know a lot of people are angry. but my family said that the bad treatment came out of fear and we were not going to respond  in a mean or angry way.
 
Me: Say more about that.
 
Will:  We had pictures in our kitchen of Martin Luther King Jr and Gandhi.  My parents said that they were strong, but non-violent. They wanted us to learn the secret of staying strong and not being mean or violent.
 
Paul:  Since we were little, when someone was having a tough time emotionally there would be a family meeting for how we were going to deal with it.  We also had to go work at Catholic Charitie and listen to the stories of homeless people. That started when we were really little.
 
Me: What did you learn from that Paul.
 
Paul:  In both your kitchen and our kitchen is a sign that says, “In this house we ask how. We never say can’t.”  When Sam and I were young we sometimes complained about having to go to Catholic Charities and said that we were just kids.
 
Me:  How well did the complaining work?
 
Paul: Not well at all Uncle Jim!
 
Susie:  We have always talked a lot about how tough the women in our family are.  If I said I did not want to talk about something that only worked for a day or so and then I knew I had to talk about everything!  Sometimes I hated it but now I know I and my family can deal with anything even if one of us is upset or scared.
 
John:  In our family we cry and hug a lot, but mom and dad tell us that we are strong and can cope with any problem. 
 
Tom:  I don’t always feel a part of, but my dad says we men can talk about such emotions.  Sometimes I feel really weak and don’t want to talk but everyone in the family has to talk. After I talk I always feel better.
 
Ann:  In our family one of my cousins and one of my uncles are in the AA program. Sometime we go to a meeting when one of them is speaking.  They talk about how they used to believe that they could not cope with their problems and would just drink to be numb.  Grandma says that these meetings are no place for us children, but my parents say it is important that we hear these stories and learn that we can help each other with any problem.
 
Me:  It sounds as if you children all started to learn to deal with tough issues when you were really young and now are glad that you did.   It also sounds as if in all your families adults and children have the same rules for dealing with touch issues.
 
Will:  No one in our family has to cope alone.
 
Me:  I am also hearing that both males and females are learning to be okay with emotions.
 
Paul:  In our family all of us get lots of hugs if are upset but we still have to deal with the issue.
 
Me:  Say more about that Paul.
 
Paul:  This is a little embarrassing but when I was little I would sometimes cry because I did not want to do something but it never worked.  I got hugs when I was upset but I still had to do it.  I remember when my Uncle John was dying in the hospital and I did not want to go see him.  I still had to go and now I am glad I did.
 
Me: Why are your glad Paul?
 
Paul:  I could tell he was really happy that I came to visit and now when I remember him I think about that fact.
 
Me:  Excellent. It sounds as if everyone is saying:
 

• Start very young expecting everyone in the family to deal with tough emotional issues.
• Everyone needs permission to express emotions.
• Emotions are not an excuse for not doing something.
• Role models inside and outside the family are important.
• We do better when we help each other.
• We are as strong as we need to be even if we do not feel strong.
• Avoiding tough issues by drinking, taking other drugs or otherwise running away does not work well long term.
• If someone does start to have problems with drugs or alcohol they can get help.

 
I will print out this list.   I think that we have an unusually healthy group of families represented in this class.   Not everyone is so healthy.  I wonder why this class is so healthy.
 
Ann:  I wonder if healthy families were more likely to suggest that their children sign up for this class.  We did not have to attend the class Mr. Jim.
 
Me:  Good point Ann.  So, we are not necessarily reaching a lot of the children who might benefit.
 
Paul:  I wonder why such courses are an elective Uncle Jim.
 
Me:  Good point.    You students might want to work with Mrs. Sanford about a Facebook post talking about why you think this sort of class is important.
 
Time is nearly up.   Next week how about we begin to talk about how we decide how much time to spend on TV, the internet, texting and other uses of modern technology.  What are advantages and disadvantages?
 
Amena and Tom. pass out the cookies please.    Will. please pass out the assignment.
 
Written March 1, 2017
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

​We don’t need bathrooms
 
Sunday I was again reminded
 
United States Citizens do not need bathrooms.
 
I parked my car, make my way to the subway platform after


showing my ticket and looked around for a restroom.
 
I saw children, men, and women.
 
Obviously none of them needed to dispose of waste materials.
 
Finally I get on the T
 
I search every stop for any sign of a restroom.
 
There are none.
 
No one else seems to be uncomfortable. 
 
Obviously they are good citizens .
 
They have evolved beyond such mundane needs which afflict
 
Us lesser mortals.
 
 
No wonder my allegiance to this flag is called into doubt
 
In other countries it seems that there is a general
 
acceptance of the need for facilities where one can
 
perform what we, in this country, like to call our absolutions
 
In other countries, we males share a common trough while
 
women make use of the same room.
 
In the good old USA when we allow discrete restrooms we insure
 
that there are private stalls and, for the men,
 
urinals separated by shields 
 
insuring that one’s maleness is protected information.
 
No trough for us. 
 
If we dare hide behind our open car door or behind a building we
 
may be arrested for public indecency
 
Really!
 
The absence of bathrooms are, perhaps a metaphor for
 
the arrogance which begins with referring to our country as
 
America.
 
Not one of the Americas but America.
 
We are, after all, unique
 
         Better than
 
         Stronger than
        
So pure that not only does our feces not stink
 
We  dare not reveal even to ourselves that we
 
Might need a place to urinate or defacate.  
 
Dare I say this?
 
Perhaps we should go back to where we came from
 
Joining the lesser mortals who still have need of “facilities”.
 
I wonder if we dared to admit we do have waste products.
 
That we too are as human as our European, African, Eastern,
 
African, Baltic, Russian, Chinese and Middle Eastern
 
neighbors.

Admitting that in fact we are as human as those
 
living in the other Americas.
 
I wonder if that admission would free us.
 
Indeed, we knew all along that the Emperor was naked.
 
We may even know that we are the naked emperor.
 
Although we dare not tell that we know that they know.
 
 
Written  February 27, 2017