​Por favor
Gracias
 
Please or if you please is the translation for this Spanish phase. 
 
I recall our parents were very clear about expecting my siblings and I to use say please and thank you. 
 
Grandma Fannie was fond of saying, “If you want respect you have to give respect.”   Saying please and thanks you were  words which  indicated, for them,  respect.  Perhaps my memory has failed me or perhaps, over the years, I have come to believe stories I tell myself but I do not recall Grandma Fannie or Grandpa Ed ever speaking to us children in a disrespectful manner. Neither do I not recall my Aunt Pleasie or Uncle Harold ever speaking in a harsh or unkind manner.   All four of these individual seemed to avoid the trap of “do what I say and not what I do”.
 
I wish that I could say that I never fell into the trap of speaking or reacting disrespectfully to another person.   Although it is certainly my goal to never fall into that trap I have, at times, done so.  While most of the time angry, blaming, disrespectful words stay in my head in the form of thoughts or are only spoken to the walls in my home more often than I care to admit I do entertain such thoughts.  
 
Grandma Fannie did not say, “Do not speak or act disrespectfully unless someone acts disrespectfully towards you.”  She believed that a healthy person does not give their power to another person.  To react with disrespect is, in fact, giving one’s power away; the power to determine the behavior which is consistent with one’s values.  This was not a suggestion that one be passive or to refuse to speak out about injustice or unequal treatment.  I do not recall Grandma Fannie specifically talking about racism, homophobia, sexism or other particulars of oppression, but I also do not recall Grandma Fannie ever suggesting that any form of oppression was okay.  I heard some family members say she was not proud of her Native American heritage, but I never witnessed any mistreatment based on race or heritage.   I suspect, given her commitment to learning, if she were alive today she would be much better educated and openly proud of her heritage.    I am sure we would be exchanging long letters discussing many important issues.  We did that regularly.  In fact she wrote me a letter which did not arrive until several days after her death.
 
I like to think education involves opening all those little boxes into which we learn to put people, places, and ideas; that education means gaining the courage to admit to ourselves and others the lies about who we are in relation to ourselves, each other and the earth.
 
Since many of us are on this journey of learning we are not less than or more than others it should be easy to be intentional about treating each other with respect.  I do not believe this means we say, “Please give us justice.  Please treat us like an equal.”  In the tradition of Martin Luther King, Jr. it means that if you knock me down I will get up.  It means that if you get knocked down I will help you up.   It means that I am sorry you do not understand why I cannot remain silent.  It means that I want you to hear my pain just as I expect to listen for and hear your pain.  
 
Por favor share your fear and your pain. Por favor listen to my fear and my pain.
 
Gracias. – Thank you for sharing your humanity and honoring mine.
 
As my Tai Chi instructor would say this is both an invitation and an expression; an invitation to honor each other’s humanity and an expression of my determination to give and expect respect.
 
Written June 15, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 

Sunday Musings – June 13, 2020
 
In Spain, Portugal and Brazil June 13 is Anthony of Padua Feast day.  He is the marriage saint.  In Poland June 13 is Military Gendamerie Day.   For the African American community in the United States Juneteenth is the day set aside to celebrate the official order of June 19, 1965 when General Order Number 3 directed the enactment of the Emancipation Proclamation in Texas.  The order stated “This involves an absolute equality of personal rights and right of property between former masters and slaves.”  The order went on to say “The freemen are advised to remain quietly at their present homes and work for wages.  They are informed that they will not be allowed to
gather at military posts and that they will not be supported inn idleness either there or elsewhere.”  (General Orders, Number 3; Headqua5ers District of Texas, Galveston, June 19, 1865.)  It is reported that it took a long time for the word of this to reach many masters and slaves; perhaps up to six years for some.  As we know Jim Crow laws, unequal funding of education and the unequal treatment in the judicial system continued and, except for legal Jim Crow laws persists today. 
 
Just this morning I read a comment on social media suggesting that more African Americans are incarcerated because they commit more crimes.    We know, however, poverty, unequal opportunities, unequal access to skilled attorneys, overt and covert racism in arresting and jailing African Americans and poor people in general and other factors contribute to the illusions that African Americans are more likely to commit crimes.  Additionally we know that systemic oppression traumatizes individuals, families and groups of people resulting in  exhaustion and loss of hope which contributes to rage, depression and other symptoms. 
 
Asking why there is rage or suggesting that one is supportive of ending racism and other forms of oppression if  people would not engage in lawless behavior testifies to the systematic denial of the history of this country.   Even the history of Rosa Parks is “whitewashed” so as to frighten we white liberals.  The popular unthreatening story is that Rosa Park was a tired old lady with no history of protest.  In fact she was a relatively young woman who had been an activist and whose husband and many of her friends owned many guns.  She was not part of the nonviolent movement led by Dr. King. 
 
Today it seems as if we are still suggesting that the oppressed “remain quietly at home and work for wages.”
 
I hate violence.  I am frightened of violence. I hate it when others are angry at me; especially when I know I have done by best or am truly sorry for not  doing my best.  I know, however, that if I want change I must be willing to face both the anger and the pain underlying the anger. I must be willing to give up some of what may feel valuable to me. 
 
On this Juneteenth, if I want change, I must commit to doing my part ; to risk criticism when I use my voice to summon all of us to own our history and to create a more just future which is truly inclusive.
 
Written June 13, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 
 

Muscle memory
 
I was feeling out of sorts this morning.  Obviously we all have days when we feel out of sorts or off center – no quite at home in one’s body.  The temptation is to look for something which will, at least temporarily, make one feel better.   Most of us know from experience that the healthiest thing we can do is, if possible, be patients until the feeling passes.  We may be somewhere such as at work as an emergency room worker where this not possible.  If lucky we will then allow healthy muscle memory to direct us.   If, however, we are at home with no responsibility for any other living creature we may notice some part of our mind searching for a distraction.   If we have a habit of  making a decision to choose an unhealthy behavior our muscle memory may direct our body to engage in this unhealthy behavior.   It will seem as if we did not make a choice.
 
Making new choices when we out of sorts because we are sad, disappointed, angry, hungry, tired, bored or physically sick can seem incredibly difficult.    Muscle memory or habits of thinking and behavior are very useful.  If one had to relearn how to bathe, dress, use the bathroom, brush on teeth, and turn on the coffee or tea maker first thing in the morning one would  arrive at work about the time that it was time to go home.  Every part of life would be in disarray.    
 
Of course it would be wonderful if one only learned heathy behaviors.  Most of us have, however, practiced certain unhealthy behaviors. We may then find ourselves frustrated and perhaps very critical of ourselves every time we stray off the path which leads to positive self-esteem.   Addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex, power, money, anger and other people, places and things are some of the obvious negative muscle memory behavior. Depending on the addictive behavior or substance one may experience extreme physical and emotional discomfort if one attempts to change the habitual/addictive behavior. Yet, even those of us without a diagnostic label have habits which are unhealthy physically, emotionally or spiritually.    We may “find ourselves” procrastinating doing a home or work project until the last minute and then not doing the job of which we are capable.  We may “find ourselves” spending hours on social media, video games or looking at internet porn.  We may not feel able to resist that extra sugary product which we know could eventually lead to a diagnosis of diabetes.    
 
Most of us had the experience of deciding many times that we will not ever again engage in that undesirable behavior only to find ourselves doing it again and again and again.
 
Those who have a 12-step program of recovery have a prescription for changing behavior which works well if one does not engage in a particular additive or unhealthy behavior “no matter what” but instead pick up the phone and call their sponsor or some other person in their “we”.  Most of us, however, do not have a sponsor, but we can certainly enlist the support of a trusted friends.   This, however, first requires that we let go of shame or embarrassment; that we make peace with the fact that we are all human; that all of us have some unhealthy habits we want and may need to change.
 
We may attempt to change behavior by brow beating ourselves into change metaphorically or physically.  Verbal or physical negative admonishments or criticisms does not change behavior.  Punishment never works long term.  Long term, punishment makes us feel worse which, in turns increases the chances of repeating unhealthy behavior.  We must choose a healthy alternative behavior and we must commit to “not picking up” the negative behavior “no matter what.   Those who use programs such as weight watchers to change their nutritional habits can often be very successful because they can practice new behavior with built in rewards.  The key is to be consistent since intermittent reinforcement of the any behavior is very resistant to extinction.   Intermittent reinforcement is so powerful because it says that eventually one will always give in to the desire to repeat the undesirable behavior. 
 
Pema Chödrön, the Buddhist nun, suggests that if we find ourselves obsessively thinking or worrying that we merely say the word thinking to ourselves.   If we do this over and over again at some point we will notice that the unhealthy, obsessive thought has stopped.
 
Often, if possible, I engage in a physical activity if am tempted to engage in an unhealthy behavior.    Yoga, Tai Chi, riding my bike, hiking or even doing a home project as simple as cleaning may successfully interrupt the action of the current muscle memory while one creates new muscle memory.
 
Written June 13, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 
 

Accountability , debt, guilt
 
As is true for many who live in the United States I have been thinking a lot about the social construct of race and racism recently. Actually it is a topic which stays in the forefront of my mind.  It might be more accurate to say that the subject of oppression has been forced on me.  From an early age I knew that:
 

• As supposedly having Native American heritage and having relatives who were Native American I was aware that I was part of a group who many considered less than.  I found my supposedly savage ancestors in history goods mistreating the good white persons!
• As a person who knew he was different and eventually could allow himself to accept his sexuality I knew it would be used as an excuse to bully or otherwise be denied simple rights.
• Racism was common and accepted by many in my family.   Yet I knew at age 5 it was very wrong.

 
This week’s On Being podcast is a rebroadcast of a conversation between Eula Biss and host, Krista Tippett entitled Talking about Whiteness.  I urge the reader of this blog to listen to this conversation
 
As one listens one is reminded that race is a social construct. The young son of Ms. Biss asks why a certain classmate of European dissent is brown.   In fact this young girl was considered white although she was darker than many who were labeled as black.   As Ms. Biss and Ms. Tippett point out how we decide who is black or white is important.   My memory tells me that it was Angela Davis who would experiment with going into a shoe store and find that if she spoke English she was treated one way and if she spoke French she was treated another way.  
 
Obviously when one is perceived as white in this culture one enjoys white privilege.   If one is perceived as a white, heterosexual male who is part of the status quo one is treated a certain way. If one wears the costume of white privilege in court or other setting one may be perceived as entitled to while privilege.
 
One of the important questions is how we let go of this system of privilege based on social constructs or how we both make amends for all the pain we have caused and share resources more equitably.
 
One of Ms. Biss’s friends told her the German word for guilt is the same as the word for debt, schuld.  If, in fact, I have enjoyed my share and  your share, I owe you a debt.   One could also consider the approach used in the 12 step programs. This is the concept of accountability.  My understanding of accountability is that it does not imply or require shame or any form of self-flagellation.   It does require making amends if possible and a commitment to not cause more harm.
 
In this country the group Black Lives Matter is making very simple demands.  Change.  Whether in the classroom, the funding of schools, the treatment by police, the treatment by the so called justice system, or more accurate history books change means accepting that we all have worth.  Our worth cannot continue to be  grounded in making some feel less than; less deserving of rights to share in the bounty of mother earth; less deserving of a quality education; less deserving of respect; less deserving of access to quality health care.
 
We who enjoy white privilege also owe a debt to ourselves and our children.   The sad truth is that oppression begins with thinking that one is not enough; that one has to be better than to be worthwhile.    Telling ourselves that we have to prove our worth is a painful lie which also leaves a deep scar; the pain of being separated from ourselves and each other.


Written June 12, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 

When god is on vacation
 ​
The phrase “let go and let God/god”  often echoes off the walls of meeting rooms of self-help  groups such as the 12 step programs for those recovering from active addiction to alcohol, drugs, food, sex or other people, places and things.   Frequently it is coupled with the shortened version of the serenity prayers as written by Reinhold Niebuhr:     
 
            “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference
 
For those who have a positive faith in a God of one’s understanding both of these “prayers” or commitments may seem to make a lot of sense.   For those who believe that one is responsible for one’s own destiny; those whose introduction to the concept of a god was that of a mean spirited, punishing, angry big daddy in the sky who  saw and knew all and was not likely to  forget how often you make mistakes or were unkind the idea of trusting the god of one’s understanding is more frightening than the behavior of the local drug dealer if you fail to pay him or her.
 
Yet, if one leaves the concept of god out of the equation, then one may be left with the feeling of being a quitter who has not tried hard enough.   The line between giving up too soon and banging one’s head against the wall until god comes back off of vacation or one dies of a brain hemorrhage is often very narrow.  Certainly, a scientist working on a treatment or cure for a type of cancer has some parameters to determine when to give up a specific experiment.  At the same time, many scientists spend their entire career exploring what does not work for treating or curing a particular strain of cancer.  They do not spend their entire career attempting the exact same experiment over and over again.  The make very small but significant changes in the design of the experiment or null hypotheses.   These  scientists may or may not have a belief in the god of one’s understanding.  They know that it is up to them and other members of their team to feed their creativity; to stay open to what, at times, seems impossible.   They are not likely, regardless of their religious or spiritual belief system,  to say, “let go and let god”.   Yet, there is a time when it may be appropriate to say, “This is not working and sit quietly waiting for the muse.
 
In the end I must examine whether my goal of helping someone or making someone “see the light as I understand it” is  working or if the process of  trying to help them is  resulting in them being more upset, irritable, and  exhausted.   “Let go and let god.”  may be simply admitting that one is indeed powerless and causing more harm than good. 
 
Whether one thinks of the whole – all those pieces of the universe that creates a mystical or magical whole – as God, magic or the great mystery – the fact remains that in fact we have limited control and limited sight. It may often be enough to be quietly present and ready to offer a hand up.  Physicians worldwide agree to strive to do no harm .  Sometimes they have to accept that to do more would be to cause more harm than good; to trust that the God of one’s understanding or the universe of one’s understanding is in charge and not on vacation. 
 
Written June 11, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 

​ Walk the talk
 
Many wise people I have known, including Grandma Fannie, were fond of reminding themselves and others that talk is cheap.   Often when I am talking with someone in my role as a professional counselor or as a friend, part of my brain is listening to and silently asking myself, “Do you really believe what you are saying?  You make it sound easy to put principles before personality; just do the next right thing;  let go of expectation that other people and situations should be fair; to remind yourself the behavior of other people is not about you although behavior has a powerful effect on others.”  These and other wise words can just roll off my tongue. Yet, I know that I, too, frequently find it uncomfortable and difficult to walk the talk. 
 
For example, yesterday morning driving on an interstate highway through a construction zone on two narrow lanes without any road shoulder I was attempting to pay close attention and obeying the 45 mph posted speed limit.  Suddenly there was this crunching sound and then the thump, thump of a flat tire.   I had to drive on the tire for some distance before arriving at a narrow shoulder.  A semi-truck had sideswiped my car causing considerable damage.  At least I am 90% sure it was a semi because I saw several semi-trucks passing in the other lane just about the time I heard the thump, thump, thump.    As the police person said, very likely the semi driver did not even know they had hit my car.  I can easily understand how easily one could be distracted for an instant and slide over that narrow path.  It was just one of those unfortunate accidents. Not a big deal.  Yet part of me was feeling anxious and victimized.  Eventually the car got to the right collision shop, I got a rental and I drove to the Veteran Hospital where I was scheduled to get some fasting blood work.  At the Veterans hospital all did not go as I expected or thought it “should”.  While waiting I checked my email only to find a very unfriendly email from someone who is very important to me.   
 
I was thinking enough is enough. Life is too hard. I am a good person.  I do not deserve to be treated badly.  Yet, quickly the Grandma Fannie in my brain asked if I was ready to walk the talk or was I just full of cheap talk.  The accident, the situation at the Veterans Hospital, the fact that this person says they never want any more contact with me are examples of how life shows up for all of us.  The situation with the person makes me very sad and I need to allow others to give me the support I need and deserve. Yet, I also need to remind myself how lucky I am to have a car, to have AAA plus coverage, to have insurance, to have money saved to pay the insurance deductible and incidental expenses, to have access to a rental car, to have health care coverage, to know that I have friends who will support me but not feel sorry for me, and to have the voices of all those wise people in my head.
 
The voices of Grandma Fannie and others are a blessing reminding me of the opportunity to practice walking the walk.  Either we are growing or going backwards.  If all were easy we could just order Alexa to serve up life on that silver platter with that perfect rose in the silver vase.
 
The opposite of growing is not standing still. It is going backwards.   The goal is to pass first grade and move on to second grade.  The goal is to learn spiritual lessons at a certain level, get comfortable for one second and then move on to the next level of the same lesson.  
This does not mean we are not allowed to have our “moments” of kicking and screaming about the unfairness of  life,  but these moments need to be just that.  Moments.  It can be easy to fall into the trap of remaining in the kicking and screaming stage.  Yet, we have the option of moving on; of practicing walking the talk.
 
Written June 9, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 

Sunday Musings – June 7, 2020
 
I have written extensively this week about  my perspective on why we in the United States are experiencing such angst by people on all sides of the issue of racism.  It is interesting that Covid-19 has, for many, taken such a back seat.  Many places in the United States and in some other parts of the world continue to experiment with opening up various services.  In some places the number of cases continues to rise while in others the death rates are reduced.   Most places have not tested the general population.   Here in Wheeling, West Virginia for the first-time testing is available to those without active symptoms.  This testing is, however, voluntary and will not give us any better idea of the percentage of people infected or the percentage of those getting infected who become seriously ill.
 
It seems as if our ability, as humans, to live in a crisis or even high alert mode has been taxed.  I do, of course, realize that there in a need to earn a living so as to house, feed and generally take care of oneself and, for many, one’s family.   This is not an easy balance to maintain. For some of us who are still working and getting paid and/or have another source of income, the financial concerns are not as great thus making it easier to fall into the trap of judging those who must be concerned about economics and other practical issues of survival.
 
Our history in maintaining  high alert status for aggressively tackling racism has historically in the United States and most other places been superseded by our desire to avoid the discomfort which necessarily precedes the spiritual evolution which demands that we settle into our fear of letting go of our historic belief that we need others to be less than so we can override our fear that we are not enough.
 
It is indeed momentarily comforting to sit here on my peaceful porch with no television, radio,  internet news coverage or any other reminders that  there is a larger world  which must be faced; to whom I have a responsibility.    The temporary peace I am enjoying is largely possible because I have food, utilities, and many other luxuries made possible by those in the larger world.  I can hardly claim to be self-sufficient or independent.
 
Already this morning I have been told that “the real issue is reverse racism”; that so and so leader is a bigot and, thus a hypocrite with whom one cannot have a conversation; that the issue is the rageful looting and burning rather than the long history of false promises.
 
Once again on this Sunday morning I am reminded that we have much to learn from each other.   One does not have to be an Anglian or descentant of the Anglian church or even a believer in a divine being to appreciate the value of confession and recommitment to all that is best within us.
 
A more universal general confession
 
Almighty and most merciful universe:  We have erred and strayed thy ways like lost sheep. We have followed too much the devices and desires of immediate gratification. We have offended against all that is just. We ae left undone those things which we ought to have done; And we have done those things which we ought not to have done; And we have given away our health which is the health of all of us.  Universe, be patient and have mercy upon us, the slow learners.   Help us to acknowledge what has not brought us and the rest of the universe any lasting peace or health.   Help us to heal ourselves and each other according to the laws of the universe that we may live in peace with ourselves, each other and the rest of the universe(s). So it be. (Amen)
 
Written June 7, 2020
Jimmy F Pickettc
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

​How will I dance today?
 
Among those who pay attention to how all the parts of our bodies are connected and how the human body is connected to the rest of the universe, there is an appreciation for the fact that our bodies constantly communicate our history.  I call this our life dance.  Our life dance  reveals the pain and joy of that history.   If I can approximate your life dance I can experience some of your history of pain and joy.
 
All of us have experienced trauma for many generations.  We carry the history of that trauma in every cell of our bodies and, thus,  in every movement of our bodies.  Medical scientists are now identifying specific parts of the body which carry that trauma.    It is carried, for example, in our vagal nerve and in the psosas muscle.   The vagal nerve reaches down into our gut and may explain why we get a gut feeling when something is not right – even with someone who is 3000 miles distant from one and one is speaking over the phone.  The psoas connects the top part of the body with the bottom. “—if you’re braced, it also manages whether or not you mobilize or immobilize. And if you’re born to people who are already braced, you pick up in your psoas this kind of locking down, this kind of bracing, decontextualized. And so what I have been taking to people about is how do we begin to get the reps in with those pieces?”  (Resmaa Menakem in On Being podcast conversation with Krista Tippett ‘Notice the Rage; Notice the Silence’. (Broadcasted June 4, 2020 but recorder earlier in 2020)
 
Mr. Resmaa reminds himself and others of our long history of trauma; including the period known as the dark ages from 500 to 1500 A.D. The people who came to this country and claimed it for their own inflicted more trauma on the then Native people and on their slaves.   In many ways the trauma was inflicted on all who were not white, male, heterosexual landowners. 
 
If we are going to quit inflicting trauma as a response to the trauma we carry we are going to have to reclaim a dance which is focused on healing from that long history of trauma.  The particular experience of trauma is different  for each cultural group (what Mr. Resmaa calls bodies of culture).  He maintains each group needs to  heal/emerge  with each other.   He details specific physical exercises in his most recent book “My Grandmother’s Hands:  Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies.
 
Often when working for/with people I explore with them how our life dance reflects our history of trauma.  We all need a safe place to begin to open our bodies to releasing  the pain or what some refer to as the pain body.  Only then can be reclaim the strength and power of a dance  which is affirming of our own sacredness’s.  It is only when we claim our own sacredness that we can begin to honor the sacredness of others.
 
We have a long history as humans of “breaking” and inflicting the pain of our history of trauma on others.   Thus, we have police officers mistreating and even killing individuals such as George Floyd  We have anger and pain unleashed in the form of burning and looting.  The life dance continues to be one of inflicting further trauma which results in more trauma which results in more trauma, which….
 
 
Trauma affects every part of our bodies.  It disconnects parts of our bodies.  It weighs down our bodies.   We can barely move. 
 
The police officer carries generations of traumatic pain.   Every black person carries generations of trauma.   Every time the force of the pain of that trauma is unleashed on another person the trauma of the entire community is exponentially multiplied.
 
The black person cannot heal the white man.  The white man cannot heal the back man.  The male cannot heal the female and the female cannot heal male.   We are all human and all need to support the healing of the others , but it may be only the members of the sub groups (the social constructs divisions) who can create a safe place for healing.   Only then can we truly approach being free enough to join our life dances.  The problem is, of course, that we keep inflicting further trauma on each other and then punishing each other when we disassociate within ourselves and with each other.
 
At another level trauma is trauma is trauma.    The triggers and the source of your pain is different than mine but the existential experience of pain is the same.   If we want a life affirming dance we must acknowledge our history of trauma and accept that there is no peace -no real freedom – without a process of freeing our bodies from the constraints of the fear, pain and rage which are normal results of trauma.  We must find safe ways to loosen the constraints while interrupting the cycle which dumps more trauma on each other.
 
Written June 6, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 

​Invisible
 
Many readers of this blog will remember that early every morning I write down and share a spiritual goal.   One of my most repeated goal has to do with the art of listening.  My goal this morning is to listen with an open mind and heart.  When I am doing this my mind is not constantly busy formulating a response to those whose opinion is very different than mine.  I am attempting to hear both what is said and what is not said.   On the surface this sounds like a pretty simple task.  It frees me from having to attempt to “prove” why I am right and they are wrong.  Often, in my blog, I share an opinion of some event, process or event.   Recently I have been sharing my opinion or perspective of the difference  I perceive between the systemic violence based on race or other social constructs and the violence of those who have given up being heard when they are peaceful.    I have attempted to make it clear that I am not suggesting that any violence is good, desirable or even moral.  I am suggesting that the violence based on race is often deliberate and based on a belief in the superiority of some humans while the violence in reaction to a long history of racism is a symptom of the frustration of not being heard.   Neither Is likely to lead to a more just and peaceful society although I believe if we listen carefully we have an opportunity to focus on changing the violence based on race and other social constructs which will stop the later.   (Sadly I am not talking about stopping all violence in our society just that based on and in reaction to racism and other social constructs.)
 
When this country was formed many groups of people were not included in those who were guaranteed the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. (The unalienable right which the Declaration of Independence says have been given to all humans.).   Humans included white land owners.   Women, slaves/black people, people of color, non-heterosexuals, non-Christians, and white men who did not own land were invisible as humans.  Sadly, many of those who are considered members of these groups continue to be invisible .   The paradox is that many of those who continue to base their worth of being better than or more deserving than are those who also feel invisible – not heard, appreciated or valued.
 
If I am to be a “part of the solution and not just a part of the problem” I must open my mind and my heart to the pain of those who are often labeled as the oppressors and to those who are labeled as the oppressed.  If I can resist the temptation to be defensive and deeply listen I will respond to the pain of both rather than hearing only the symptoms and responding in the same way I am accusing others of responding,
 
If we are to claim the peace of living as humans with unalienable rights then all of us must be able to claim the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.   We must learn to listen with open hearts and minds to the shared pain and aspirations.   We must resist the temporary “fix” of making the one who disagrees with us invisible.  Claiming our right to be visible by making some other person or group invisible will not work.   All humans must mean all humans.
 
Written June 4, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 

Wednesday musings – June 3, 2020
 
I want to begin by being clear about my beliefs about the following:

• Looting and burning is not productive or ethical.
• Responding to violence with violence is not productive or ethical.
• We often give our law enforcement personnel very conflicting and confusing instructions.
• Law enforcement can only be guided by the will and directives of the larger community.
• Oppression of any person or any group of people is immoral.
• Oppressing a person or group of people over a long period of time will cause them to reach a boiling/breaking point.

 
 
I also want to be clear  about the following:

• Lethal violence by the police is not moral or necessary.
• Force by the police to restrain behavior which is dangerous to others is often necessary.
• Necessary force does not have to be disrespectful or lethal.
• No parent should have to teach their children that they must assume that the police are their enemy and will likely mistreat them.
• Addiction and other mental illness are not a crime.
• Treating the symptoms of a problem or “dis ease” is not effective in reducing or curing the disease.  Treating the symptoms will, at best,  offer some temporary relief or respite.

I also want to be clear about the following:

• For 1% of the population to have a majority of the wealth of a people is immoral.
• Legal looting, blackmailing or withholding of essential services such as products of Big Pharma is immoral and should be illegal.
• Withholding funding or unequal funding of so-called public schools is immoral, unethical and designed to oppress.  Blaming the victims of this unequal funding for not being able to function well because the tools were withheld is immoral and should be illegal.
• Expecting everyone to learn the tools to function well in the larger community in spite of an unequal school funding system is immoral.
• Selective withholding other tools such as commonly used computer programs by overcharging and then giving some of the profit to help the diseases or conditions created by this behavior Is immoral despite assignment of such eloquent terms as philanthropy.  The term for the illness caused by the treatment is iatrogenic.
• Withholding the best available heath care from anyone is immoral.
• Treating the symptoms of addiction and other mental illness by criminalizing them is immoral, expensive and counterproductive.
• Allowing politics to dictate medical decisions is immoral.
• Pretending as if individuals are independent rather than interdependent is immoral, unrealistic and unproductive.
• Using religious to justify oppression while enjoying the fruits of the oppression is immoral.

 
I should explain that I understand and use the term immoral to mean a behavior which temporarily may benefit one or more people at the expense of self or others.  Destroying the environment so some can profit for the moment; instilling fear so the collection plates will ensure a lavish life for the staff of a church, using plastic bags because it is convenient or provides an income for a few, selling guns and other weapons of destruction for profit are all examples.  I am sure the reader can think of many more examples.
 
The intent of sharing these thoughts is, as always, to challenge the reader their circle of family, friends,  acquaintances, and colleagues is to encourage civil, challenging discussions of such subjects as:

• The definition of moral and, thus, immoral.
• Are their economic systems which are robust, viable, kind to the environment, healthy and serve the population as a whole?
• What is the relative price of short term thinking and behavior versus long term thinking and behavior.
• How did we come to think of universal health care for all as immoral?
• Is income or profit to be the guiding moral principle.
• Can a society exist long term if it systematically treats a significant percentage of the population as less then or undeserving?
• What percentage of the population being in jail, prison or having a record of same is indicative of a breakdown in the system?

 
It seems to me that these discussion need to take place around the family dinner table, in school settings, at teacher conferences, in boardroom and conference room and even around the campfire.    I believe that children and adults can rise to the challenge and find a more solid base for this society.
 
 
Written June 3, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org