​“We” without boundaries of thoughts/opinions
 
The June 7, 2018 podcast of On Being with host Krista Tippett entitled “How Change Happens, in Generational Time” features her conversation with America Ferrera (producer, activist and actor perhaps best known for her role in Real Women Have Curves and John Paul Lederach (“…senior fellow at Humanity United, a project of the Omidyar Foundation, and professor emeritus of International Peacebulding at the Kroc Institute for International Peace Studies at the University of Norte Dame.”   I have now listened three times to this podcast.  What I heard joined many bits of thought which are floating in my head waiting to land; thoughts which I have gathered from spending two days with health care colleagues and advocates at a NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) and West Liberty sponsored conference in Triadelphia, West Virginia.
 
There was a time in my journey when I would have thoughtlessly gathered thoughts and almost immediately discarded or embraced them.  That is to say, I would have embraced those which reinforced the opinions I already had and discarded those which did not agree with or reinforce those I already had.
 
There was a strong sense of community at the conference. I suppose that this was possible because there was a sense of a common purpose and goals in terms of understanding and doing more to both prevent and treat mental illness.  When the subject is mental illness there is a shared acceptance that we have much to learn about all the factors and the interaction of factors which determine how the mind work or does not work. Be the mind working I, of course, mean that it works in a way which allows for taking care of ourselves and not presenting a danger to others or ourselves.   There is, in other words, enough of a sense of shared reality for most of us to co-exist with each other even if we do not always like or agree with each other.  Mental illness may prevent us from having that base of shared reality with ourselves and each other.  When, for example, a person is having delusions because of being held hostage by a manic episode, there may not be enough shared reality for that person to be a part of the we of community.
 
We live in a time when it seems as if many who us humans who do not qualify for a mental illness diagnostic label find it very difficult to share the same space much less a shared reality.  This phenomenon is not, of course, new. Humans have been fighting for and with each other over a version of reality since history has been recorded. This lack of ability to share a common base of reality results in a strong “us” and “them” mentality and, thus, prevents humans from focusing on common goals of creating larger islands of a common “we”.
 
Folks such a Krista Tippett, American Ferrera and John Paul Lederach, among others, are committed to creating safe places and methods for  the “we” to gather and get acquainted without boundaries  which create the “us” and “them”.     I am again reminded that this requires a level of humility which many of us find difficult, if not impossible, to attain.   Humility requires that I suspend my “need” to be right; to actually listen with an open mind and heart to others.   One of the risks of writing and publishing a blog is that, if one is fortunate, some people read and comment on it.  On occasion someone will leave a comment suggesting that my way of thinking is totally wrong.  When I read such a comment my first reaction may be to begin to formulate an argument to counter what he or she has said.  What I must need to do if I truly want to work toward a “we” is to listen to what is being said and what may not be said.   I must ask myself if there is some kernel of truth or possibility in what the person is stating.  What can I learn from this person?
 
 A community of like-minded or thinking individuals is not difficult.  A community with greatly expands the possibility of “we” and which, therefore, allows for diverse thoughts and opinions in a setting of mutual respect is, for this human, much more difficult.   Krista, America and John Paul remind the listener that humility and honesty requires we be able to share our anger, our fears, and our pain as well as our joys and hopes.   All this must be shared in a place/space which is filled with mirrors allowing all to see all in each other.
 
 
Written June 9, 2018
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

​Opening to the quiet
 
Paintings, drawings, sculptures, written works, dance, music and other creative works use the blank or negative space to outline or draw the attention of the listener or observer to both what is there and what is not there.  Any piece of art begins with total negative space.  One can then fill a portion of that space with some preconceived notion or one can open to what the pen, brush, instrument or other mediums decide will emerge. Often, even if an artist begins with a live model or a writer begin with a fixed idea or plans for a story, the brush or the pen takes over seemingly with little concern for the one who holds the pen or the brush.
 
The goal of some who mediate or practices techniques for emptying oneself in preparation for spiritual growth is to open oneself to possibilities, opportunities or perhaps just the quiet of the negative space.
 
Many years ago, I had friends who had a house in the middle of a corn field in Paint Lick Kentucky. Sometimes I would sit in a rocking chair on their porch just watching the corn grow.   If I had just arrived after being very busy it might take me a long time to begin to attend to my breathing and allow my mind to be quieter – not entirely quiet but quieter.  My mind might not stay quiet long but, after a while, it was easier to return to a quiet space in my mind.
 
When I see a friend, I have not seen for some time or visit a place I have not been previous or have not been for some time, it takes some time for my body and my mind to settle into a space. I am like the cat which kneads a space, turns around and finally settles into a space.
 
I am aware of my breath slowing down, my shoulders lowering, my jaw relaxing, my eye becoming less focused or intense and even my ears shutting out some of the noise.  Sometime I may need to systematically go through all the muscles of my body tightening and then relaxing them.  It may take some time for my entire body to get the memo that it is safe to just be.
 
When I lived in Alaska I could walk to a stream in the mountains close by and claim my place on a rock in the middle of the rushing water.   The noise of the moving water became like a mantra to draw me into a quiet space in the midst of the music of the river, the birds and the other animals including the fish which might make an intermittent splash.   It is as if one is reestablishing a more natural connection.    As I think about it, quiet is possible only when one allows oneself to again rejoin the whole of the universe.
 
Breathe.  Notice. Breathe. Notice. Breathe. Nothing invites everything.  The nothingness – the negative space of the quiet – brings the entire universe into one’s being.  Suddenly there is the paradox of nothingness which includes the universe. 
 
What new painting, sculpture, story, musical composition, creation will I arise within me?  What will arise from the nothingness?
 
Written June 5, 2018
 
 
 

 
 

​Dangerous criminals
 
Fox News on June 6 2018 in a story by Robert Gearty of Fox News reported that 200 federal immigration agents raided an Ohio lawn and garden business on June 5, 2018 and arrested 114 suspected illegal immigrants who are “expected to be charged with Identity theft and tax evasion.”  There was also an editorial in the Wheeling Intelligencer/News Register on June 6, 2018 lauding this action.
 
One would think that I would, at this stage of my life, be immune to any emotions about such actions.   After all, even although we are a wealthy country we cannot have poor people willing to work hard and provide a valuable service refusing to jump through all the hoops and wait years to get a valid green card or to become a citizen.  I do not personally know any of the 114-people arrested.   I have no idea if indeed they committed the “crime” of using someone else’s identity or if they paid taxes.  My understanding is that many illegal immigrants do pay taxes. 
 
I also have no idea of how long federal immigration agents spent planning this raid or the total cost in salaries, benefits, equipment and other direct and indirect costs.  200 agents cannot come cheap. I suspect that they would demand a huge amount if I asked them to maintain my tiny lawn.
 
In the meantime, there seems to be no rush or outcry about many other issues such as the exorbitant amount being spent by many cabinets officer and other public officials on decorating their offices, taking expensive trips, indulging their desire to spent time in their New York or Florida homes at a significant cost to taxpayers.   Of course, there is also the amount spent giving and selling weapons to people around the world – weapons which might eventually be used against us - and setting up meetings to demand that other nations behave in a way which is consistent with what our government officials determine are our interests.
 
One could also talk about the money spent incarcerating the mentally ill and those with the disease of addiction.  These policies do, of course, help the economy. Prisons are not cheap to build, staff and maintain.   Prosecutors and others in the judicial system must all earn a decent living. 
 
I can well imagine preparing lesson plans for civics or history class for children using more detailed information.
 
I certainly feel safer and more at home in a country focused on arresting a few men and women who are supporting families here and in their home country.   I also feel safer knowing that I will now have more tall grass in which to hide when the federal agents decide I am an undesirable citizen.
 
One again, I am reminded of the famous statement by Martin Niemoeller the World War II Era Lutheran Pastor
 
In Germany, the Nazis first came for the communists and I didn't speak up because I was a not a communist.  Then they came for the Jew and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.  Then they came for the trade unionists and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.  Then they came for the Catholics, but I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant.  Then they came for me, and by that time there was no one left to speak up for me."
 
Mid-term election are being help this year.  What question will be demand the candidates answer?  What percentage of us will even vote?
 
Written June 6, 2018
 
 
 
 

​Standing tall
 
I have a practiced habit of listening in on conversations which are taking place in public places. As most readers know, listening is also an important part of what I do as a counselor. It is also a way of opening myself to grow spiritually.
 
This morning I was briefly taking advantage of the sauna at the gym following my morning workout.  Two men were engaging in a very quiet conversation.   I did not disturb them.  In fact, I did not even wish them a good morning as I almost always do when I enter a space where others are present.  At any rate, one of the men – late twenties perhaps, 5’8” or so, and otherwise non-descript – was telling the other man – mid-forties, 5’10 “or taller and also otherwise non- descript – that prior to the election of President Trump, the man who owned the coal mine at which he was then working laid off a bunch of people blaming it on the then president and other Democrats.   As soon as President Trump won the election the men and women were called back to work.  It was assumed and agreed upon my many working for that company that the layoff was a political move.   The young man said that he refused to return to work for this man. He was not willing to have him and his family used as a political pawn or to support the deception by acting as it was okay to put the needs of his family on hold to satisfy the political desire/needs of the coal mine owner or the politician.   Obviously neither the family of the coal mine owner nor President Elect Trump were worried about rent, the next meal or health care for their families.
 
It is not the intention of this blog to discuss the political, financial, environmental, and social history of the coal mine owners or big business owners who often seem unconcerned about how their actions affect others. It is also not my intention to detail all the reason why men and women are willing to work such long hours in a dangerous environment (dangerous long and short term) for people who clearly often do not care about their welfare.  This is a very complicated history spanning many generations and resulting from a variety of factors which those with a different history or different options might not understand or appreciate.
 
The intention of this blog is to focus on the daily acts of courage and conscience to which I feel a desire and a need to bear witness.  This non-descript man sitting in the sauna shared his story of quietly taking a stand.   Perhaps those to whom he tells his story will tell others. Perhaps some will be inspired or challenged to take a stand in some area of their life.
 
Again, I am reminded how powerful it is to tell our story without blame or a desire for revenge, but with a clear understanding of our core values and the need to stand for and with them.   This does not make us right and others wrong, but it does allow us to live with some integrity.  If later we have a different opinion or understanding, that is okay too.
 
Hats off to all those who live a life of quiet courage; who live a walk which corresponds to their core values.
 
Written June 5, 2018
 

​Fake news
 
The terms fake news has been in vogue recently.  It seems to be used when one wants to discredit a news story whether there is any solid evidence that the story was untrue or not.  It is also used to discredit or correct those stories which are actually untrue.   Fake news which is actually untrue has been traditionally known by many other names such as propaganda, white papers, spinning a story and a host of other euphemisms.   The only thing that has changed regarding fake news is the fact that we have nearly an unlimited number of means to disseminate such news and an amazing array of technology which can alter video, photographs and other forms of “evidence”. 
 
Clearly, one of the challenges of our educational system in this and other countries is going to be to teach our children critical thinking and solid research or investigative skills.  Just this morning I read articles about the “reasons” the United States needs to support and protect the coal industry and the use of coal fired plants.   I also listened to a TED talk about the direct and indirect damage done to the environment and people by mountain top mining.   I have read a number of reports offering convincing evidence that the number of people contracting and getting black lung disease has dramatically increased in recent years.
 
I have listened to and read an equal number of stores supporting and decrying the fracking method of extracting natural gas, the damage to the ecology by pipe lines and potential damage of leaking or broken pipe lines. 
 
There are a significant number of stories or alleged scientific studies supporting and criticizing the use of solar and wind energy.
 
One can pick any number of subjects which are or should be of vital concern to all of us and find the name number of convincing stories or reports in favor of and against.  Often, there is some measure of truth in both sets of stories.
 
How do we train ourselves and our children to think critically?  Obviously, none or few of us has time to conduct or caused to be conducted longitudinal studies which provide evidence with which we have more faith.   There may be some questions which we can ask and/or research. These include:
 

• Who benefits monetarily from the conclusions of the reports?  Do the person doing the study or the persons financing the study have a vested interest in the results.
• Who benefits politically from the conclusions of the reports?
• Can one use commonly accepted scientific rules or principles to ascertain the validity and reliability of the research?
• Do the reports seem to violate a “gut” feelings?  What is the possible source of that gut feeling?
• Are their organizations or individuals without any vested interest in the results which have carefully reviewed available research reports?
• Are we able to come to a decision while sill staying open to future new evident with may support or dispute the conclusion we have come to accept?
• Are we relying only on like-minded friends/colleagues to validate opinions?

 
Often the most important question pertains to my gut feeling.    I may not yet be able to identify any solid reasons for this feeling, but a very large percentage of the time my gut tells me something is not quite right or correct.   This is true regarding local, state, national and international issues.   It is also true in my “personal” life.  I always know when something is off in a relationship.  Occasionally, what is off is the fact that someone is planning a lovely birthday surprise or some other gift.  Fortunately, that situation is usually short term and, thus, quickly resolved.  Other times I need to press to find out what is going on.  I can deal with just a about any situation once I know with what I need to deal.   I may be sad, disappointed or even momentarily angry, but I will handle it. 
 
The avalanche of new “information” is both a blessing and a burden. Yet, we have no choice except to find ways to sort through this information using the guidelines I have mentioned.   We can also, however, take breaks from all non-emergency news reports.  Some families and individuals do this on a daily basis. Others do it less often.
 
Written June 4, 2018
 
 
 
 

Sunday Musings – June 3, 2018
 
I am sitting on my back covered porch admiring the roses, other plants and the freshly mowed lawn which Ernesto has just cut.  Ernesto is one of the newer blessings in my life.  I feel bad that he is not taking a day off although I know that, in his business, one has to take advantage of the sunshine.  Ernesto brings not only his skills of safely tending my sloping lawn, but a lovely, positive energy.
 
I have been collecting a lot of positive and loving energy all week from dear friends and from of those with/for whom I work. 
 
Family, friends and clients also brought reminders that life is very fragile. We do indeed only have a guarantee of today/this moment and only have the power to decide to treat each other and mother earth with loving tenderness. 
 
When I keep focused on the message of the serenity prayer and do not fall into the trap of focusing on all that over which I have no control, I do fine.   This morning I was talking with a man I see at the gym.  He has always been a pleasant man, but much of the time in the past when I would say good morning to him he might or might not reply and, if he did, it was from an emotional distance or detachment.   Recently he shared that in addition to managing a gym and working out daily he has been taking yoga classes. He has even participated in several weekend yoga retreats.  I had noticed that the past month or so he has been much more present when he says good morning. There is often even eye contact.  We may not have more of a conversation than a good morning, but when we both present even that greatly enriches my day.
 
I am again reminded of one of the suggestion of the Buddhist nun Pema Chodron. My memory tells me that she suggested that one keep one’s spiritual goals very simple.  For example, “Just show up enough to enjoy your morning coffee, tea or water.” 
 
The first part of the serenity prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr is:
 
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
 
I do not have to analyze or dissect the term God.  I just have to show up, love the best I can, and focus on what I can do to share some positive energy with myself, others and the universe.
 
Written June 3, 2018

Claiming our “I”
 
The May 31, 2018 conversation on On Being  between Krista Tippett, the host, and Maria Shriver entitled “Finding My “I am” reminded me of how often much of what I do as a counselor and life coach is to guide people in their journey of claiming their “I”.   
 
Maria Shrive is a granddaughter, daughter, niece, mother, and wife of those who are familiar to any students of the 20th and 21st century history of the United States.  Joe and Rose Kennedy, Eunice and Sargent Shriver, Bobby and Ethel Kennedy, Jack and Jackie Kennedy, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are just a few of the names which might come to mind when one thinks of Maria Shriver.  One might or might not think of her as a respected broadcast journalist and author of books including I’ve Been Thinking: Reflections, Prayers and Meditations for a Meaningful Life and Just Who Will You Be.  One might think of Maria Shriver as a person of privilege both in terms of financial privilege and the privilege of the example of powerful, women and men.  It may be easy to forget that often such privilege makes it difficult to find and claim oneself.
 
As is true for many of us she grew up in a religion when taught children to be guilty and fearful of disappointing a God who was all knowing, all seeing and pervasively present to keep score and to pronounce judgement.  She also grew up in a religion and culture which assigned conflicting roles to women as the force which raised, sustained and taught the men who were the assigned leaders.   It is not surprising that this woman of so called privilege is just now feeling as if, at age 62, she can claim her place “on the stage” including her place in her religious community.
 
Although most of us, including those for/with whom I work, do not have the weight of notoriety and, thus, the number of pre-assigned labels that Mrs. Shriver has, all of us are challenged to claim our “I”.  We are certainly the children of, the grandchildren of, the siblings of, the nephews and nieces of the famous, infamous, mentally ill, addicted, upstanding, respected, reviled, or a host of other labeled entities. We are also, as is Mrs. Shriver, the products of the religious elders or the lack of religious or spiritual elders.  We are the children of a long line of slaves, oppressors, leaders, followers, Democrats, Republicans, Independents, Socialists, or the pretenders to the apolitical.   We are assigned to masculine or feminine roles based on the genitalia which we were born or which, in some cases, was chosen by the attending physician. 
 
We are the mentally ill, addicts, the worried well, or “the healthy one(s)”.  We are the good or the bad ones.  We are assigned to a race based on percentage of blood, to a religion or a social class.  
 
We are homosexual, bisexual, trans sexual, heterosexual or asexual.
 
All these labels determine the “I’ which will shape the expectations of family, friends, neighbors and the wider community. They will determine how others treat us and how we define and treat ourselves.
 
Some of us live our entire lives attempting to be the “Is” of these labels and never giving ourselves permission to find our “I’.  Some of us know we do not “fit in” or “belong” and hide behind costumes, roles or numbing self or other prescribed drugs or behaviors. 
 
Some of us will have been fortunate enough to claim the strength and the courage to claim our “I” whatever and whoever that is.  Some of us will, as Mrs. Shriver states, claim our own place on the stage. Once again, I am reminded of the Bard character Jaques who in Act II Scene VII of As You Like it states, “All the world is a stage, and all the men and women merely actors. They have their exits and their entrances, and in his lifetime a man will play many parts, his life separated into seven acts.”     Either are roles – our “Is” – are thrust upon us, passively accepted, slid into or actively chosen.
 
It is our privilege, challenge, and birthright, to determine our “I” and to proudly – not arrogantly – claim that “I”.  We call this spiritual growth, growing up, recovery, or becoming healthy.
 
Written June 2, 2018
 
 
 

​Doing good at whose expense? 
A moral dilemma
 
I recall a number of years ago talking with a professional fund raiser who had been employed by a hospital in a city in which I was living.  His job was to raise money for a state of the art holistic fitness and rehabilitation facility.  I asked this young man how he would respond if someone with a history of treating employees poorly (poor pay, unsafe/unhealthy working conditions) offered to make a donation?  This college educated man did not understand why this question would have anything to do with his responsibilities to his employer who was a private contractor hired the hospital board.  The hospital apparently did not hesitate to accept a rather large donation from such a person – a donation so large it earned the donor the “honor” of having the health care facility named after him.  Clearly the money was put to good use and the very kind staff of this facility have expertly and lovingly facilitated the health and healing of many members of the community.
 
I was thinking of his ancient history when I read a May 30, 2018 column in The Intelligencer, Wheeling News-Register entitled “Beyond Astronauts and Engineers” by Heather Bresch who is the chief executive officer of Mylan Pharmaceuticals.   In this article, she details the announcement of “an exciting collaboration between Mylan and the university.”  (West Virginia University in Morgantown, West Virginia).  She explains the collaboration “to develop an initiative to inspire the state’s children to reimagine their futures by true and meaningful exposure to Science Technology Engineering and Math (STEM) and encouraging them to be Curious, Active. Resilient and Engaged (CARE).”
 
Any help we can give to encourage children to reimagine their futures is a laudable goal.  Surely, we could take our hats off to Ms. Bresch and Mylan for this investment in the children of West Virginia.  Yet, I could not help but recall that Mylan is the company which in 2016, without having to spend a penny changing or developing the drug Epinephrine (Epipen),  raised the price to an average of $600.00. Later that price was lowered - the lowest GoodRX price was later $147.98 with an average price of $380.00. I could not easily find info on today’s average price.  In 2016 CNBC reported that the Epipen actually cost several dollars to make. I found estimates as low as $16.00 and as high as $30.00.  The Epipen is a very effective antidote for people with certain life-threatening allergies.  Many parents are urged to have multiple packs at home and school for their children.  Many adults also depend on these lives saving devices.
 
The company reported $9.45 billion in revenue for 2015 — up from $7.7 billion the year before — and $1.46 billion in income. A reported $1 billion in revenue came from EpiPen, up from the $200 million in revenue at the time Mylan first acquired the device.  The most recent compensation package I could find for Ms. Bresch was for 2016 (www1.salary.com)- nearly 13.3 million dollars although her base pay was a mere $1,300,000.00. 
 
It is not my intent to present a detailed economic analysis of the health care system in the United States or to present an argument for or against the current economic system which rewards a few (around 1 %) with a major share of the wealth of this country.  There are economist and philosophers who are better equipped to do that in a format which is designed for those doing serious research or analysis.  It is my intention to question the system of allowing a relatively small group of people to become wealthy at the expense of employees and customers and then to laud them for using some of this “blood” money to fund research, build libraries or fitness centers or other programs and facilities which are designed to help heal the very people which are injured and/or destroyed by those who donate the money.  
 
As any reader of my blog knows I am not in favor of punishment, but I am in favor of accountability and an attempt – as best we can as humans – to walk the talk.   Perhaps universities, hospitals and other organization need to question whether it is ethical or moral to accept money which has been made, in part at least, by mistreating employees or customers.  Yes, I know that companies such as Mylan have programs to provide assistance to a limited number of customers who are most in need, but why not just charge 20% over cost for products such as the Epipen?  How many children and adults would that help?  There are many other highly priced medications which Mylan and other companies manufacture and sell. Often, they blame the high price on research and not on hihh compensation package for the CEO and other executives and/or a higher return to those who own stock in a company.
 
What are the core values we want to teach our children?  What does it mean to walk the talk?
 
Written May 31, 2018