Find the damn roses
 
Yesterday I was explaining to a group of men in treatment for addition how clinical depression affects one’s ability to experience positives.   Depression has a number of common and  distressing symptoms.   First we must remind ourselves that it is a condition which is a chemical imbalance.  We may someday find out that the chemical imbalance is also  a symptom whose cause  can be more effectively  treated  but, for today, I will focus on how that chemical imbalance affects how the brain functions.  The primary affects are:
 

• The blocking of colors meaning that only the negatives register in the brain.   The imbalance blocks the automatic seeing or experience of colors or positives.  I might say to someone   I am seeing in  my office, “ Find the fresh flowers.”   If the person has a history of positive feelings about fresh flowers then they will be reminded on a cognitive level that positives exist even if they do not feel a connection to those positives at the moment.
• The blocking of time.  Not only does it feel as if there are not positives now it feels as if there were never any positives and never will be any positives. This is a much different feeling than having a bad day but feeling and knowing there have been good day and will be more good days.
• A feeling of disconnectedness.  One feels very alone, unable to connect emotionally or spiritually with oneself, with anyone else or with the God of one’s standing or some sense of the whole (feeling a part of).  One is totally alone and abandoned. 
• Hopelessness – Nothing one does or does not do will make a difference. No amount of rest, a good meal, a vacation, the support of a friend; nothing or anyone can make a difference. There is no purpose or meaning to life.   One may on a cognitive level know that others will be affects by one’s absence but they will soon realize that they are better off without one. 

 
The good news is that clinical depression and situational (temporary) depression can. Be successfully treated in most cases.  Treatment can, at times, include:
 

• Identification and treatment of a thyroid disorder or some other conditions which is causing or aggravating the symptoms of clinical depression.
• Evaluation and differential diagnosis by psychiatrist or other trained mental health professional
• Anti-depression medication  -  many options.  Finding the one which works for a particular individual may take time and  be very frustrating.
• Talk therapy – may take some trial and error finding the therapist who is the right fit – whose style communicates well with a person.
• Exercise.   When one feels as if they have no energy and if nothing matters it may be difficult to get oneself to exercise. When possible I recommend at least 20 minutes of aerobic exercise a day.
• Nutrition.  Healthy food is very important.  When one is acutely depressed one may need to supplement one’s diet with Ensure or other  healthy protein drink.
• Supportive friends who do not tell one to just get over it.
• Hospitalization may be necessary at times.

 
Some behavior does not help and may make the depression symptoms worse.  These include:
 

• The use of alcohol or other recreational drugs.   Alcohol is s depressant.  Other recreational drugs are not pure and may cause new serious symptoms.
• Feeding the lies of the depression.   One does not want to  reinforce the feeling of hopeless, all or nothing, disconnectedness, or hopelessness.  One wants to honor the feelings without reinforcing them.
• Spending time with those who do not understand the depression and who may be critical.
• Entertaining suicidal thoughts or other violent thoughts. Share those with a health care professional or trusted family members and  seek medical care immediately.
• Giving up – believing that this is not a treatable illness.

 
 
Written July 17, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 

​New Beginnings
 
It seems each day of the weeks holds a special promise.   Sunday I wrote about the importance of the sabbath.  Each day is, for me, a day of new beginnings – opportunities to  see the world in new ways.    My goal is often to ignore all my previous pre-conceived ideas and beliefs about myself and the worlds.   Obviously, I never manage to even remotely attain that goal.  Early this morning  I noticed myself reacting to the morning news on the internet and later when reading the Pittsburgh newspaper covering local, national and international news.   I heard myself  - hopefully I did not appear to be a senile old man talking to himself – assigning values to actions of various newsmakers repeating the opinions I had previously gathered.  Nothing new was being allowed to enter my brain.   Just the same old, same old!
 
One of the spiritual teachers I admire and whose advise I attempt to follow , Pema Chodron, suggests that one “drop the dualities”;  let go of the adjectives one uses to assign a positive or negative value to people, events, policies or opinions.   She is not suggesting that any of us will come close to just making a decision without assigning a value to people, events, policies or opinions.  She does suggest that one non-judgmentally “notice” when one does so.   The mere fact of noticing when one assigns a value interrupts the process and allows  for the possibility of allowing one to be open to hearing or seeing new possibilities.
 
I have been practicing doing this for a number of years and feel as if I am still in kindergarten class.  I do know I have  some core values which I cannot now imagine any new information changing.   Yet, I am well aware that there are very good people who believe the opposite of what I do and can present cogent arguments for them. 
 
I am also aware that I have the options of listening beneath the words (to myself and others).  I know that often past traumas and other experiences, affect how one thinks and moves about in the world. For example, those who are abused, especially as children, become abusers.    Those with poor self esteem (for whatever reason) frequently become bullies.  Those who are raised in a tiny world and are taught their worth is because they are better than/wiser than/smarter than/worth more are more likely to disconnect from their own humanness and from the humanness of others.  I have the option of listening carefully or even accessing what it feels like to be in pain and possibly fearful of intimacy.   Of course, at the same time I do not want to fall into the trap of patronizing others by discounting what they say by assuming that  what they are saying is due to pain or fear.
 
Although my life experiences are broader than some others they are still very limited.  I cannot know what I might think or feel if I walked in the shoes of others.  I cannot know what I might do if I walked in the shoes of others.  
 
Still, I must make frequently decisions about my own actions.  I must access my core values as well as the wisdom and honestly of my trusted friends and mentors while staying open to new vision or hearing.
 
Written July 16, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 

​Sunday Musings – July 14, 2019
 
My tradition is to reserve Sunday for the Sabbath.   Other traditions set aside other days and times to rest and gather the various parts of oneself which have scattered during the week.   Sunday begins with home chores of changing sheets on the bed, washing and ironing, polishing dress shoes for work, cleaning the car and in other ways making my home and even my car ready to receive  the reconstituted me!
 
For some the Sabbath is a time to gather with others in the tribe at a worship place  and/or at the home of the current matriarch or patriarch of the family.  The matriarch or patriarch reminds everyone they are family no matter what their differences.  If one is especially fortunate one has a Tyler Perry Medea whose firm love reminds the tribe of the gift of taking care of each other.
 
Many of us do not live geographically close to biological family and may or may not have an intentional family who regularly gathers on the sabbath.   Yet,  we can mentally and spiritually call upon our ancestors and all of our intentional family.  Sometimes, one just sits quietly waiting for the legion of people occupying a place in one’s memory to make themselves known.    As is true for the Totem Poles which comprise the historical record of some tribes, various people in the form of images from the past week will join this large group of people.    Today as I quietly sit, an image of President and Mrs. Trump descending the steps of Air Force one joins us.  President and Mrs. Trump are wel groomed, looking happy, contented and as if they know they deserve the fine clothes and the luxury of the Presidential airplane.  In my mind descending the steps with them and waiting at the bottom are the tired, poor, .. huddled masses yearning to breathe free.” (The phase of Emma Laaarus in her sonnet  often associated with the Status of Liberty.)
 
Today are also the planed raids to arrest thousands of immigrants who may not have legal status; thousands who are tired, poor,  huddled people fleeing violence, acute poverty, and other forms of deprivation and abuse. 
 
I would not, of course, have to use the image of President and Mrs. Trump. I could use the image of myself sitting here typing in the luxury of my safe and comfortable home.  What I am doing to welcome and protect those who, as a nation, we are deciding to treat as less them, not deserving, and criminal.
 
On this sabbath one must ask who is the real criminal.    On this sabbath one must ask, “Is the criminal really the one on the cross?”
 
Perhaps the sabbath is for cleaning the mirror and having the courage to  look into it.
 
 
Written July 14, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org

​Intentional misfit -
Choosing to not be a team player
 
During a conversation with a friend of mine I recalled the first time I was able to accept responsibility for choosing to not be a team player.  The occasion was a reference letter I had asked a respected colleague to write.   When I got a copy of the letter I was initially hurt and insulted.   In the letter she had listed my professional and personal  qualities she believed made me a good therapist.  One of those stated qualities was the fact that I was not a good team player.  When I talked to her, she reminded me that, as a clinician, I always put the needs of the clients first even if doing so violated a written or “understood” policy of the agency for which we worked.  In fact if I thought the needs of the client superseded the stated professional ethics the needs of the client remained my priority.   Obviously, I had to admit that I was choosing  to be a misfit.    In fact I had to admit that I had spent a lifetime believing it was immoral to put country, school, church or allegiance to any organization primary in my life.   I never believed that my school, country or employer was superior to all others. I never believed that any action which would profit me or someone else at the expense of another person could be right or moral.   Of course, I knew that sometimes two positive goals or desired outcomes might conflict and one has to  make a tough decision.
 
I suppose I always had some awareness that I was choosing to not fit in or be a team player, but it was not until my colleague put it in writing that I was forced to openly take responsibility for my choices.
 
I sometimes say that I would like to believe that I would not violate my core beliefs  for any amount of money.  Yet, I was and am well aware that no one has ever offered me a significant amount of money to test my resolve. I am lucky in that respect although I have no way of knowing for sure If I there is an amount which would tempt me.
 
I am also aware that there are those who justify racism, sexism, homophobia, and other violent behavior by claiming they are obeying God’s law or some core moral code.  One has to be careful about claiming that one knows what is right or wrong especially when one’s beliefs posits that the needs or desires of one person or group supersedes the needs or desires of another person or group.   Many individuals and groups have used religion or their belief that they and only they have access to “the will of God” to justify inflicting harm – even death- on others.
 
If I choose to test out my beliefs with others whose opinion I respect, to engage in a respectful debate with professional ethicists or even the members of my tribe and family, I must always start with the principle of the null hypotheses. That is, I must begin with positing the opposite of what I want to be true.  I must then be open to new information which may contradict my beliefs.
 
The danger, of course, is that one  can choose to be a misfit or not be a team player just to prove a point and not because one can present a cogent argument for behavior which does make the survival of an organization primary.   One can also just be a generally unhappy person and take out frustration by deliberately disobeying rules or procedures.  This is the behavior of a teenager who is appropriately  experimenting with his or her wings.  It is not the behavior of a healthy adult who is acting on the basis of a moral code which considers the well-being of all other humans.
 
When I choose a misfit stance I must not be surprised when an organization or the representatives of an organization notices and acts accordingly.  I need to own and be proud of my behavior.  I must also, when possible, have a backup plan.   If I am going to risk losing my income or association with a group  it would be good to know I am willing and able to live with the consequences.
 
Written July 13, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 

​Twenty stories of ego!
 
It seems that these United States is paying billions of dollars for NASA to build a 20-story space rocket which is likely to be too expensive to launch for trips to moon or for anyone to use for any other space missions.    Many people including some senior officials in NASA are against the expense for this project.  Others justify the project because it is currently providing many  well-paying jobs.
 
One can hear the same argument from those involved in the oil and gas industry, the arms industry and many other industries which are not designed to make the earth healthier and more livable for future generations.    Yet, calls to spend large sums of money to replace the aging infrastructure of much of the United States, to provide quality health care or to reduce the effects of climate change are often met with not only criticism but distain.
 
It seems clear to me that often the use of public money is to shore up someone’s political career or to boost the ego of those who are fearful that it is not enough to leave a legacy of love and the best use of one’s talents to contribute to the overall emotional, physical and spiritual health of the community.
 
Building a 20-story rocket which seems symbolically a cousin of the pyramids may not be far removed from the use of giant phallic sculptures in ancient Greece or giant penis sheaths in other ancient cultures.
 
Building or replacing water and sewer system of pipes, replacing bridges, repairing roads, building light rail systems, insuring clean, healthy water supplies, learning to live in tiny houses or intentional communities might not symbolize the patriarchal, sexist, me first attitude which has and, sadly remains a hallmark of some in this and other countries, but these project might symbolize that spirituality is a verb and not a noun.   Whether one is Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Christian, atheist or has some other religious or philosophical base, most of us know that in the end how well we take care of each other is the only legacy which matters in the long run.
 
Daily it seems I am forced to acknowledge that life of any human is only two minutes long.  Whether one dies at 2, 20 or 100 it is very short.  Daily I am reminded that mother nature will use hurricanes, earthquakes, cyclones and other “forces of nature” to remind all of us that we best live life as if we only had this moment to leave a legacy which is consistent with our spiritual beliefs. 
 
Indeed, just for today, we only have today.
 
 
Written July 12, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 
 

​The prophet of the wilderness
 
In every age there are prophets. Often, the prophet arrives as the homeless person, the person in prison for murder or sexual abuse, or in the words of a Shakespeare or Sholom Aleeichem on whose stories the original Yiddish version of Fiddler on the Roof was based.
 
Joel Grey is directing  the Yiddish production of Fiddler on the Roof. For those who know the story the subtitles will not be necessary. In fact, the core of the story is the struggles which Tevye and his family face in czarist Russia in 1905. It mirrors  the struggle of many fleeing violence of all forms  while also attempting to hold on to core pieces of culture – of home.
 
If one listens to the interview by Terry Gross with Steven Skybell and Joes Grey one will soon be enmeshed in the richness of the Yiddish which flows from the heart of the of all the characters of the play; the heart of all immigrants fleeing physical and emotional  violence; hunger and homelessness.  Yet they, as did  Anne Frank and her family , face the struggles of all parents and children; of all elders and young people who must take over as elders one day.   Perhaps because I know the songs in English or perhaps because of the timing and pacing of the songs I experience them deep in my gut as they work their way around my heart and finally tickling my throat before the reach my tear ducks.  ‘The Sabbat Prayer”,” L’Chaim” or “If I were a Rothchild” all speak to the historic power and struggle of all immigrants; of humans attempting to find a home. 
 
Ram Dass famously talked about “walking each other home”.   The prophet knows that we are all in need of each other.    Currently, here in the United States we place immigration judges under the Justice Department, set impossible quotas for immigration judges and  label South and Central American immigrants as “the other”; as criminals.  We separate parents from children and now make families wait in Mexico which almost always  insures they arrive before the burnt-out immigration judges without a lawyer.   So called justice is dispensed in a few minutes leaving immigrants, judges,  and attorneys feeling disconnected from the goal of walking each other home.  Judges who do not meet their quota will  or can be punished.  Judges are now part of the law enforcement and not impartial dispensers of loving justice. 
 
As I listen to the guttural sound of the Yiddish I hear a call to all my ancestors.   I hear in the Sabbath prayer the prayer of all the prophets; the prayer which says show me my home; welcome me home; take my hand even as I take yours.
 
The sound of the Yiddish calls out the prophets of all people of all religions  and all cultures.  It calls us  home to Africa; to our beginnings as one tribe, one people walking each other home.
 
This then is the call of the prophet as we begin another election cycle in the United States.   The prophet is calling us home to each other.  Listen. Listen to the Sabbath Prayer.    Although written in the context of a culture which fears the ways of the stranger in some way,  the Yiddish seems, for me, to reach beyond culture to the sacred whole.  We are all part of that whole.  For me, the sound of the Yiddish encompasses that whole::
 
            “May the Lord protect and defend you.
            May the Lord preserve you from pain.”
 
Written July 11, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 

​The art and gift of listening
 
Every morning I attempt to articulate a spiritual goal for the day.  My legacy for the day will be how well I am able to walk the talk or honor that spiritual intention. This morning, as is true many morning, my intention is to actively listen to what others are saying verbally and non-verbally.  I am not sure who coined the term active listening but it refers to the act of “just listening” without offering advice or comments unless, of course, it is specifically asked for.  Although it may seem like a simple and freeing activity to be able to listen without the burden of offering advice, or letting the other person(s) know how right or wrong they are, most of we humans find this a very difficult exercise.  Most females I know would claim that we males have a more difficult time listening then do other women.  I cannot speak for women but I know that when I am attempting to listen my mind is very active with:
 

• Formulating my opinion about what the other person is saying; calling up my sage advice.
• Defending myself or critiquing the speaker’s grammar or content.
• Listing my achievements and silently asking “What about me?  I did or said that?  Why didn’t you give me credit?”

 
While my mind is thus occupied I am not hearing anything the other person is saying.   Without the willingness to  hear/listen there is no possibility of a conversation.  A conversation requires an open exchange of thoughts and/or feelings.   
 
When practicing active listening I am focusing on the content of the communication.  This includes the words, body language, sign language and emotional undertones.  If I listen to just the words then I might repeat the words back to the person with sarcasm or some other added content which has nothing to do with what the other person was communicating.
 
My goal when being spiritually intentional about my behavior is to “just notice” when old, unhealthy/non-spiritual behavior takes over.   Rather than fussing at myself which would not lead to change I want to “just notice” my thoughts and emotions.     I might say to myself, “Isn’t that interesting.” It is my intention to not say “Bad Jim.”  Scolding myself will only make me feel worse about myself and result in my being more defensive and less able to “actively listen”. 
 
There may be those who have already achieved an A+ in their graduate course in active listening. This human is not even close to an A+.  That is okay. For today I will be intentional, just listen to my listening and keep practicing.
 
Written July 10, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org

Anger.  Constructive or destructive?
 
Anger has many purposes including:
 

• Calling attention to something unjust or unacceptable.
• Causing one to stop and think about what is happening.
• Masking other emotions such as grief, frustration or exhaustion.
• Blaming other people, places or things rather than accepting responsibility.
• Wanting someone to hurt as badly as we do.
• Verbal vomiting.
• Expression of pain.
• Expression of worry.
• Expression of concern about not having control over another person, traffic, weather or whatever.

 
Obviously, the initial feeling of anger can be very positive.  Whether we name it outrage or anger it seems appropriate to be angry about mistreatment of others, destruction of the environment, action which will lead to war/conflict, not being able to control some person or event which is very important.  I always ask myself when I “notice” that I am feeling anger:
 

• What is the purpose of my anger or what purpose would I like it to serve?
• Is that purpose consistent with my values?
• Is the anger destructive of my health?
• Do I need to accept a situation or do what I can to change it?
• Will the action I take cause more or less harm than the person or event which initiated my response?
• Is my anger related to my being hungry, tired, or lonely (having empty gas tanks)?  Empty gas tanks change how my brain processes incoming stimuli?
• Is my anger a shield for the fear of intimacy or allowing others to know me?
• Is my anger related to the onset of a medical condition including brain tumors, thyroid dysfunction, depression or some other condition which can be diagnosed or treated?

 
It is, as some such as Ryan Martin suggest in his Ted talk “Why we get mad and why it is healthy” often a sign of health to notice something which is hurtful to self, others or the community.   From an evolutionary standpoint anger has often resulted in some of the most creative advances in how we take care of ourselves. It is also responsible for most of the progress in social injustice. Yet anger alone does not solve any problems.  It is merely an alert that an issue needs addressed  If we just stick with anger we will have multiplied the problem or situation.  We need an action plan which is based on what is realistic and what is consistent with our long-term goals.  We also need a plan which is consistent with our core values
 
If the underlying problem is fear or anxiety I need to decide the relationship one wants with fear or anxiety.   If the problem is powerlessness I may need to focus on acceptance or surrender.   If the goal of the anger is revenge I may want to explore the long-term consequences of all  people seeking revenge for a real or perceived  injustice.   Do we really want to act as if we are better than; less capable of hurtful or rash behavior?
 
If one is at a stage of just needing to express the anger/to verbally vomit one can insure that one does not do it on someone. On the other hand, we may have a friend or even a therapist who agrees to accept our verbal vomit as long as it is clear that is what it is and no action is needed.
 
We all get angry.  It can be used constructively at times or it can be very destructive.  I am not convinced anyone benefits from more destructive behavior in the world.
 
Written July 9, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett, org

​Compassion?
 
Do sane people set fire to their house, repeatedly stab themselves and tell police that they want them to kill them? Although it was reported in the local newspaper that the police will issue mental hygiene charges against the man who is accused of these actions, they will also charge him with obstruction, fleeing and brandishing a weapon.   In the  newspaper article about this man and his behavior, I did not identify any words or sense of compassion.  Yet, the article did acknowledge a suicide attempt.  Who attempts or even contemplates suicide?   Obviously loss of hope in a brighter future or a future with purpose and meaning can lead to suicidal ideation  and/or attempts.   Depression, side effects of certain drugs, including alcohol, brain tumors and a host of other conditions can result in someone not being able to access hope; not being able to find a purpose for living.  Setting fire to one’s home is a desperate act.  Stabbing oneself is a desperate act.  Asking police to kill one is a desperate act. We could easily have some illness negatively affect our brain and our ability to access hope. Who would then show compassion for us?  Would we be labeled as criminals for not having a brain capable of accessing hope?  The police officers (to whom we have given very conflicting instructions), the prosecutors and the judges could easily be those hopeless people setting fires to one’s house, stabbing oneself and asking to be killed.
 
This morning I also read some of the interview with Bishop William Lori, Archbishop of Baltimore and Apostolic Administrator of the Diocese of Wheeling-Charleston.  There is no reason in this blog to restate the accusations against the former Bishop of the Diocese of Wheeling-Charleston or against some of the former priests and administrators  who served in this diocese. There is no doubt in my mind that some of the statements about the hurtful behavior of those men are accurate.   Lavish spending of money which could have been used for helping “the least of these” does not, in the long run, benefit anyone  Unwanted sexual overtures from a person who is one’s superior or other emotionally hurtful behaviors  does not fill the void in those making such advances or nourish the person who may feel as if they are being treated as an object.
 
I do believe that individuals and those representing institutions must be held accountable.   Holding someone accountable does not mean shaming them or labeling them as criminals.   Holding someone accountable does not mean treating them as less than.   Holding someone accountable does mean helping them to receive whatever they need to return them to their “natural” position as a sacred member of the community.   For the mentally ill person this means attempting to accurately diagnose and treat their illness and then helping them accept that they need to continue their treatment whatever that may be. Holding someone accountable may mean relieving them, for today, of those duties they are unable to perform. There is no shame in being unable to perform those duties. There is no shame in coming to terms with one’s sexual feelings and finding a healthy relationship with those feelings.  There is no shame in feeling as if one needs to fill that empty space within one with alcohol, other drugs, sex, material goods, money, power or something else.    One does need to come to terms with one’s addictive behavior and accept that one is already enough and already belongs.
 
It seems to me that when we lose compassion; that when we believe that someone intentionally decides to be mentally ill or to have certain sexual feelings or to have other compulsive thoughts we have lost a part of what keeps us whole; we have lost compassion; we have separated ourselves by creating “the other”.
 
We are indeed our brothers (and sisters) keepers,  We are indeed responsible for owning our own humanness. This does not mean we can take every homeless person into our home nor does it mean we have the cure for mental illness or know how to convince another that it is safe to seek treatment.  It does mean that we always know our mental illness, our hopelessness; our sense of not having a purpose;  our feeling of not belonging is as close as the next minute.  None of us are immune.  Once again I reminded of Martin Niemoller’s statement:
 
“In Germany, the Nazis first came for the Communists and I didn’t speak up because I was not a communist. Then they came for the Jew and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew.  Then they came for the trade unionists and I didn’t speak up because I was not a trade unionist.  Then they came for the Catholics but I didn’t speak up because I was a Protestant.  Then they came for me, and by that time, there was one left to speak up for me.”
 
July 8, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
Coachpickett.org

Sunday musings – July 7, 2019
 
I have always been fascinated with the phenomenon of time and how differently we experience it depending on what is happening in our lives.  This weekend, for example,  Southern California experienced very strong earthquakes which were felt as far away as Las  Vegas.   Many reported that it felt as if the movement of the building and contents went on for a long time although it was less than a minute – often only 30 seconds.  Time seems to slow down when in the midst of an event which could change the course of one’s life; an earthquake, a fall, an auto accident, a domestic incident, some other assault, or a combat situation.   Often periods of one’s life such as being a teenager and waiting to be old enough to get one’s driver’s license or some over milestone move very slowly.
 
Last Sunday morning I was in Canton,  Texas  until nearly 11:00 a.m. or so when I left to spend time with good friends in Dallas before getting on a flight Monday for my return to Pittsburgh.   Although only a week has since passed, it seems like months or years since I was in Texas.  Of course, I have packed a lot of activities in the few days. Still, traveling from one place to another has always seemed magical and rather strange to me.  I must have  been on hundreds of flight since my first one at age 18, but the sense of magic as never left me.  As a young child much of my travel was by foot and long school bus rides.   Even that could seem magical.  I still believe that the day will come when teleportation will become not only the material for science fiction but the same reality as space travel.
 
The distance from being a teenager to being nearly eighty now seems like it took place in the blink of an eye.  In fact I am sure that it passed that quickly and, yet, my memory vault tells me that many events had to occur to stretch that line. 
 
Spiritual teachers always remind one that only this moment exists; that if one will allow oneself to be intentional about being present  in this very moment without judgment or the duality of labels one will have lived life to the fullest.   I believe this to be true and occasionally I manage to nearly attain that state of quiet presence without dwelling on the past or worry about the future.  I know, of course, that no matter what I do or do not do this moment has arrived and soon the next moment will arrive and so forth. 
 
The dropping of dualities as Pema Chodron and other teachers remind me to do sounds so simple.  Yet, I “find myself” practicing the habit of labeling the moments or the experience as good or bad;  pain or not pain; joy or sadness; right or wrong.
Recently I was reading a book in which the author reported that a creative writing professor advised him to use active verbs to make his writing come alive; to avoid the use of gerunds, I. e. ask versus asking or do instead of dong.   I must admit I had to refresh my memory of the definition of gerund.   It has been a long time  since Mrs. Shepherd introduced that term in the fourth grade.   Verbs bring me to the present.  I experience.  We speak.  We touch. We are here together in this moment.  It is! We are!
 
Written July 7, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org