The isms
I am always fascinated with those individuals in the United States who are convinced they are not racist, sexist, or homophobic and furthermore insist these isms are no longer an issue. I applaud those individuals. I am not one of those individuals. I am racist, sexist, homophobic and have a virtual storage shed of judgmental attitudes and opinions. I aspire to be free of all those judgements and prejudices. Yet, I daily continue to ingest them.
I began learning the rules for boxes for myself and others at a very early age. I have very early memories of intaking judgments based on gender, race, economic status and sexual orientation long before I knew what any of these terms meant. I knew by age 3 or so that one did not stop to help someone who was passed out from alcohol use/abuse “especially” if he or she was other than Caucasian. I also learned:=
· Who I was expected to be as a while male.
· I might have some Native American heritage and I had relatives who were Native American.
· No matter how inferior I felt among other Caucasian males I had certain privileges solely because I was a Caucasian male.
· Although I could play with black boys and girls as a young man my mother would give my lies more credence than she gave the truths of my black friends.
· As a male, I was to make sure my behavior was as different as possible from that attributed to females.
· I was to desire girls sexually but have serious discussions only with other males.
· In the adult world it was often the women who took charge of home making, childcare and nurturing family relationships.
· People of other races - even Native Americans which allegedly were part of our heritage - were referred to as “those people” or something more dehumanizing. Those people deserved to be successful “as long” as they stayed on their side of the track (in larger cities the dividing line might actually be the railroad track.)
· The god of the understanding of most clergy did not tolerate anything other than heterosexual, missionary position sex and then only for procreation.
· The terms used to demean other boys were terms indicating one was acting like a girl. The terms used to demean girls were terms indicating she was less than “feminine”.
· “Good people” were successful because they were independent and “pulled themselves up by their own bootstraps although nothing was said about the fact that many did not have boots let alone bootstraps.
· The good people were Caucasian, heterosexual, had a white picket fence, perhaps a back servant who one gifted with all the leftovers one did not want and expected them to be grateful, went to the right church and prayed to the right god.
I am talking about the North; not about the flagrant Southern Jim Crow laws and practices. In the north there were clearly white and black hotels, prescribed dress for women and in some places men, white and black water fountains and other supposedly “equal” but separate facilities.
Some of these obvious signs of gender, race and sexual discrimination are now absent in many places. Yet, if one is awake, there is daily evidence of racism, sexism, homophobia and classism (casteism). I do not go a day without being a witness to this reality.
It is not a question of whether any of us living in this and many other countries are racist, sexist, homophobic and classist. No one who is looking or listening to one’s own brain or the behavior of others can miss the fact. The question is if and how we will deprogram ourselves and make equality manifest reality.
Written September 16, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
I am always fascinated with those individuals in the United States who are convinced they are not racist, sexist, or homophobic and furthermore insist these isms are no longer an issue. I applaud those individuals. I am not one of those individuals. I am racist, sexist, homophobic and have a virtual storage shed of judgmental attitudes and opinions. I aspire to be free of all those judgements and prejudices. Yet, I daily continue to ingest them.
I began learning the rules for boxes for myself and others at a very early age. I have very early memories of intaking judgments based on gender, race, economic status and sexual orientation long before I knew what any of these terms meant. I knew by age 3 or so that one did not stop to help someone who was passed out from alcohol use/abuse “especially” if he or she was other than Caucasian. I also learned:=
· Who I was expected to be as a while male.
· I might have some Native American heritage and I had relatives who were Native American.
· No matter how inferior I felt among other Caucasian males I had certain privileges solely because I was a Caucasian male.
· Although I could play with black boys and girls as a young man my mother would give my lies more credence than she gave the truths of my black friends.
· As a male, I was to make sure my behavior was as different as possible from that attributed to females.
· I was to desire girls sexually but have serious discussions only with other males.
· In the adult world it was often the women who took charge of home making, childcare and nurturing family relationships.
· People of other races - even Native Americans which allegedly were part of our heritage - were referred to as “those people” or something more dehumanizing. Those people deserved to be successful “as long” as they stayed on their side of the track (in larger cities the dividing line might actually be the railroad track.)
· The god of the understanding of most clergy did not tolerate anything other than heterosexual, missionary position sex and then only for procreation.
· The terms used to demean other boys were terms indicating one was acting like a girl. The terms used to demean girls were terms indicating she was less than “feminine”.
· “Good people” were successful because they were independent and “pulled themselves up by their own bootstraps although nothing was said about the fact that many did not have boots let alone bootstraps.
· The good people were Caucasian, heterosexual, had a white picket fence, perhaps a back servant who one gifted with all the leftovers one did not want and expected them to be grateful, went to the right church and prayed to the right god.
I am talking about the North; not about the flagrant Southern Jim Crow laws and practices. In the north there were clearly white and black hotels, prescribed dress for women and in some places men, white and black water fountains and other supposedly “equal” but separate facilities.
Some of these obvious signs of gender, race and sexual discrimination are now absent in many places. Yet, if one is awake, there is daily evidence of racism, sexism, homophobia and classism (casteism). I do not go a day without being a witness to this reality.
It is not a question of whether any of us living in this and many other countries are racist, sexist, homophobic and classist. No one who is looking or listening to one’s own brain or the behavior of others can miss the fact. The question is if and how we will deprogram ourselves and make equality manifest reality.
Written September 16, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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