​Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness
 
The second paragraph of the first article in the Declaration of Independence contains the phrase “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”  There seems to be general agreement that in 1776 happiness generally referred to owning property and the means to provide for oneself and one’s family.  It is fairly certain that the writers of this document were not thinking of happiness as we might use the term today.
 
The Virginia Declaration of independence adopted by the Virginia Convention of Delegates on June 12, 1779 was a little more explicit. It says “That all men are by nature equally free and independent and have certain inherent rights of which when they enter into a state of society, they cannot, by any compact, deprive or divest their posterity, namely, the enjoyment of life and liberty with the means of acquiring and possessing property, and pursuing and obtaining happiness …?
 
We now know, of course, that the phrase “all men” did not include people of color, Native Americans, women, in some cases those who did not own property or a host of others people.
 
I spent considerable time reading various essays or articles about what Jefferson and other might have meant when they use the phrase ‘life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.’    More than one elected official has recently pointed out that nowhere in this Declaration of Independence does it indicate that all “men” are entitled to housing, food, or health insurance.   Of course, in 1976 for the price of a chicken or perhaps an apple pie the local doctor, a neighbor, would gladly offer his (or her) skills (especially if one were white and of a certain class).   There was almost always someone who would feed one or provide at least temporary shelter.
 
In 1776 for the white male of a certain class life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness covered the basic freedom to live, earn a living and to not be taxed without representation.   There was no expectation of a paid scholarship to a prestigious college or university, health insurance or other entitlements.
 
In today’s society, if one is going to draw upon the promise contained in the wording of the Declaration of Independence on life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness one has to:
·      Assume an inclusivity of at least all citizens regardless of race, color, religion, gender, age, or education, different ableness, or sexual identity.
·      Assume that all or most all individuals are acutely aware of the availability of medicine and medical procedures  to  treat and often save the life of a family member.
·      Assume that there are many people who do not have a relative who can provide housing or other assistance.
·      Assume that some level of education or training is required if one is to support oneself and take care of one’s family.
 
In short, it is a world which could not have been imagined or foreseen by those who wrote the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution or other legally binding documents which, in essence, constituted a contract.
 
The average person – myself included – is going to assume that one can only claim “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” if one (and one’s family):
  Has access to the same quality of health care which is available to all our elected officials at the Federal and state level (read Senators and members of the House of Representatives).
·      Has access to the training and a job to earn a living to support oneself and one’s family consistent with what is determined to be a living/non-poverty  wage by those trained to measure such factors.
·      Has access to transportation to go to work, shop and get children to school and extra-curricular activities.
·      Has access to what is generally accepted as the basics to which one is entitled if doing one’s best  – television, indoor plumbing, phone and other material goods which may have once been not available or considered luxuries.
If we as a nation of citizens are to decide that the above is not the case, we must posit a solid argument to justify our position.   We must also decide what we, as a nation, are going to do with those who are no longer willing  to live as “the least of these” while a small percentage of citizens amass an ever-increasing percentage of the wealth.  
 
There are difficult issues which our children and their children are going to be forced to confront.   They will have to decide what  it means or what do we, as a nation, what it means that “We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness….
 
I strongly suspect that we would be well advised to be facilitating these discussions in our families and in or classrooms starting in very early grades. 
 
Written May 6, 2017
 

​ 
An addict in the family
 
Sadly, some families have a long history of living with the disease of addiction and will not be surprised when they discover that another family member is addicted.   Other families have no experience of living with addiction.  Depending on the frequency  of contact and the geographical closeness of the family, the family may or may not have noticed subtle and possibly dramatic changes in the behavior of the addicted family member over time.  The addict may have hidden their symptoms quite well.  Finding out about the addiction is a complete surprise to many families.
 
Unless one has a history of addiction or has been working for/with addicts, one may feel at a loss about how to deal with this chronic illness.  Fortunately, there is a wealth of information available.   Amazon, Hazeldenbettyford.org, other book stores, public libraries, the internet and the treatment center where your family member is being treated will have resources available.  The treatment center may have a family day or weekend events to educate the family members.
 
There are some basic facts to remember:
 

•       Addiction is an illness.  No one plans on getting addicted.
•       Addiction is more than abuse.  One may occasionally abuse or misuse alcohol, a medication, or a street drug but if the issue is abuse only the person will not experience a need to keep  using until  one becomes impaired.
•       As with any behavior, one has learned habits of thinking and behavior which have to be corrected. Thus, recovery is more than not using just for today.  
•       The 12-step program is the most successful program for systematically identifying and changing unhealthy patterns of thinking and behaving.   Those who attend meetings, work the steps with a sponsor, and continue to do so will almost always be successful with recovery.
•       The addict needs to avoid people, places and things which trigger the addictive thinking and behavior.  
•       Most 12-step programs say all – addicts need to avoid  all use of recreational drugs even if the drug of abuse may have only been one.   It seems as if other drugs often – very often – trigger other addictive behavior.
•       One can have multiple addictions – alcohol, other drugs, sex, power, money or anything that might temporarily help an addict avoid dealing with life on life’s terms.
•       Family members need to offer unconditional love without treating the family member as an invalid.  No pats on the head but lots of hugs/embraces.
•       With any chronic illness, one can expect relapses which is not the same as pretending  as if they are okay.
•       Lovingly avoid the three Ps and expect addict to do the same:
  •    Personalization – the belief that we are  at fault – one does not cause addiction and cannot cure it. One is not that powerful.
  •    Pervasiveness – the belief that an event will affect all areas of one’s life.  It may feel this way and it may temporarily be true for the addict, but the addict is more than his/her addiction. The addict’s family is more than the family of an addict.
  •    Permanence – the belief that the aftershock of an event will last  forever.   It may feel that way.  Many, if not most, addicts go  on to live healthy, productive, joyful, spiritual lives.  
•       Practice not buying into the drama of the addict in early recovery.  There are no big deals.  There are difficult and even painful life events which must be faced.  If the addict invites one to a drama, lovingly decline the invitation.  Just announcing that “Thanks for the invite but I am not accepting. Now is there anything else you need.”  can diffuse the drama.
•       Do not patronize the addict.   Many  people live with chronic illness, terrible tragedies, emotional and physical pain.  Life constantly gives us surprises.  We and the addict can learn to deal with whatever we need to deal with.  Just like the characters in the Wizard of Oz, we all have what we need even when it feels as if we do not.
•       Support groups, counseling, talking to recovering addicts, education…these all help. 
•       Family members need to keep their emotional, nutritional, physical and spiritual gas tanks full.

 
Written May 7, 2017
 

​
Sunday musings – May 7, 2017
 
I am well aware or at least cognizant of the fact that truly sad events have continued to dominate the lives on many people this past week.  Friends that I know have received news of the death of a young person from a drug overdose. Someone emailed me this morning that their doctor had been murdered by their mentally ill daughter.  I read this morning that yet another deadlier drug is on the streets and likely to take the lives of many addicts.  The violent events in Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan, and many other countries continues.  There seem to be no end to the sadness which accompanies us on this life journey.  It should not surprise anyone that so many seek the numbness of addiction or bow down to the Gods of stuff, power, sex, or other people, places or things.
 
In the midst of all this existential angst this week I was shamelessly taking in the love of many friends, some of whom were also biological family members.  Although I am sure that daily, throughout the year, I have more than my share of love, this week brought an unusual abundance. Part of the reason for this was that it was my birthday.  Yet, some of the gifts just happened to coincide with my birthday week.
 
Today begins a new week.  Earlier this morning I listened, once again, to the podcast of  On Being which was a rebroadcast of a conversation between the host Krista Tippett and the poet Marie Howe.  Of course, each time I  listen to a particular podcast I “hear” something more.  This morning I heard Ms. Howe recounting something her beloved, deceased brother had said to her, “Here is what you have been waiting for.”  She was recounting this as an example of the Buddha-like wisdom of her brother John from the time he was a child until the time he died in his 28th year.  He, as seems true for her adopted daughter, seemed to enter this life journey knowing that all we needed to do was to show up.   As is true for many of us her brother did not always embrace what he knew and became addicted to alcohol.  Yet, he was the first in his family to get into recovery and to then stay in recovery until he died.  
 
Celebrations of birthdays, graduations, anniversaries, and other particularly significant life events are wonderful.  Despite being somewhat embarrassed by all love given to me this week, I was humbled and grateful.  Yet, as I wrote a couple of days ago, most time is ordinary time. It is the ordinary time for which I am invited to again show up.  I am invited to settle back into the normal routine while doing my best to accept that now  is the here that I have been waiting for.
 
That now will bring laughter, sensations of touch, taste, smell, and sight. It will also bring me in direct contact with the intense pain of much of this life journey – of death, loss. disappointment, seeming betrayal and more.  No matter what happens I have the opportunity to experience the joy of giving and receiving love.  The love I have received this week can be the bridge which carries me  from one “here” to the next “here.”  
 
I have the opportunity to offer the gift of the baskets of love I received this week as a bridge to all I encounter. 
 
Written May 7, 2017
 
 

​Grandma says:  “Give the devil his (or her) due.”
 
When I was listening to the report of the news while at the gym this morning I was again reminded how often thishumans thinks in terms of duality.  I have previously written on duality and how difficult it is for this human to change the habit of thinking in that manner.
 
For whatever reason, I suddenly remembered Grandma Fannie  often saying, “Give the devil his due.”  Although she did not, as I recall, talk about the gross limitations of dualities, in essence this was exactly what she was attempting to teach her grandchildren and others.  She was usually referring to the fact that someone  whom she thought seldom said or did anything worth one’s attention, would say or do something which was quite laudatory.  She might then say, “Did you hear that. He/she said x.  He/she has a point.  You have to give the devil his (or her) due.”
 
Grandma was one of the few adults I recall from my childhood willing to openly admit that people she admired might say or do something which did not make sense or was not consistent with their stated values or goals. It was also not unusual for her to openly acknowledge that someone whose values she thought was not very admirable has said or done something for which they deserved our acknowledgement and even praise. 
 
It seems as if so often when I sat in class I “heard” the teacher presenting material as “the definitive truth”.    Although it was not until college that I would find my voice to openly question  versions of “the truth”, I recall wanting to say that I thought Mr. Holcomb’s version of history was not the whole story. I might think that, like Paul Harvey of radio fame, I wanted to hear “the rest of the story.”  For example, I did accept that Mr. Stalin was frequently very cruel and dangerous.  On the other hand, I questioned that we in the United States always had admirable and pure intentions. I was, for example, very aware at a young age of the  treatment of blacks, Indians, and many others.  Yet, that part of history was not taught in the school that I attended. 
 
Despite this “enlightened view” I somehow managed to internalize an approach which often demonized a person or group while suggesting that the opposing person or group was practically saintly.   I obviously knew better, but I continue, even to the present day, to catch myself thinking in those all or nothing terms    Thus, it was while listening to the news and later reading the newspaper this morning that I was thinking that “he (or she) had expressed a very valid concern, opinion or offered a potentially viable alternative solution.     While listening to one story this morning I initially though, “How could that person or organization be so stupid?  Of course, X is true.  Y is right to demand an alternative action.  Yet, after calming down and listening more carefully to the reason given for the action of the person or organization, I had “to give the devil his (or her due).  I had to silently withdraw my support for those about to publicly demonstrate demanding that their idea of justice be enacted.  In one case, it made sense that a state and not the Federal agency take action.  In another case I thought a person for whom I have a lot of respect needed to publicly take responsibility for his/her mistakes.
 
Grandma Fannie (the one I carry in my head) seemed particularly passionate this morning about reminding me “to give the devil his due” or, in other words, to be quiet and listen with a more open mind and discerning ear. 
 
Life  and my thought process is so much simpler when I can label people as saints or devils.  I can be arrogant, self-righteous and not have to think  beyond the 13-year old level.   I can rant and rave about “those idiots” and “those stupid ideas”.  The problem is, of course, that one gets worn out from ranting and raving and, most importantly, nothing constructive gets done. 
 
There are certain opinions or positions for which it seems as if there is only one morally or practically sane label.   Those defending an opposing view are just plain stupid, unkind or speaking for the devil.   Yet, I know that I must open to the possibility that even if that seeming immoral box is a kernel of truth or even a defensible position to which I would do well to listen.   For me this requires me to quiet the story I  have brought to the story and really listen to what is being offered. I might, just might, hear something I need to hear.
 
In the 12-step program one is often reminded of one of their traditions, “principles before personalities”.  It may seem as if someone is so enmeshed in his or her sick, addictive thinking that they have nothing worth attending to. Yet, it is just possible that the one bit of truth to which one needs to attend that day or that moment is uttered by a most unlikely person.  This has happened to me at University lectures or debates, when talking to a homeless person, when listening to someone from that political party or from that otherwise “challenged person or organization”. 
 
With any luck and a lot of intentional invitations to Grandma Fannie as I move throughout each day I may, just may, remember “to give the devil his (her) due.
 
Written May 4, 2017
 
 

​Ordinary Time
 
Today, May 5,  is the beginning of my 77th year.
 
77 years ago I emerged from that woman
 
my mother, Daisy,
 
to begin a life journey of mostly ordinary time.
 
Today is such a day of ordinary time
 
I rise at 5, dress, make coffee
 
perform morning absolutions – fun word that - 
 
Begin to make the bed noticing a tear in the sheet 
 
which has been washed one too many times.
 
Send morning greetings vis texts,  emails or 
 
Facebook messengers.
 
Smile when I learn that Emmanuel Macron the French presidential 
 
candidate first met his wife Brigitte Trogneux when he was 15 –
 
she  24 years his senior.
 
They met in ordinary time.
 
Reportedly sending him to high school in Paris did not
 
quench the love which happened in ordinary time.
 
Married when he was 29 in ordinary time.
 
I drive to the gym, work out, shave, shower
 
then drive home stopping to retrieve the morning 
 
newspaper which has been resting  and  I suppose
 
visiting with the other copies 
 
each one remarking on the banality of 
 
repeated experiments of love, violence, theft, 
 
and stories of the triumph of showing that only
 
the deserving will get health care or tax breaks 
 
My friend C texts that she has been collecting money to help 
 
with the cost of cremating her niece who died of 
 
too much alcohol to hide the pain of living.
 
I have breakfast, clean up, change the bed, start laundry
 
Sit down at the computer to an overwhelming and humbling
 
number of happy birthdays greetings  because Facebook  has 
 
reminded everyone on my friends list of the fact.
 
I put the new copy  of my professional license in the frame.
 
Print some receipts for client payments
 
and so forth and so forth and so forth.
 
It is, you see, quite an ordinary day as long as I do not dwell 
 
on Maina’s message about the death from hunger in that part of 
 
Kenya called Muranga.   There is no safe water for drinking, food 
 
for perhaps one meal a day while I sit here with a freezer filled 
 
with food and filtered water from the tap.
 
I listen to On Being which this week is a rebroadcast of a 
 
conversation with the poet Marie Howe who reminds all who 
 
listen or read of ordinary time.
 
That time between High Holy seasons.
 
Today is ordinary time when all that is meaningful happens 
 
when we, if lucky, remember to be grateful, to enjoy the moments 
 
when we can be with each other. 
 
Loving each other in ordinary time is, it seems, so very simple
 
when we do not need more money, bigger houses, or fancier cars 
 
to intercede on our behalf.
 
Jesus, Buddha or otherwise gods show up just to chat 
 
seemingly unaware or insensitive to our worldly importance or 
 
lack thereof.
 
Ordinary time recalls the ordinary time of 76 years
 
The ordinary time of loving, learning not to love and relearning 
 
how to love.
 
Of how to love “this much” as I open my arms wide in ordinary 
 
time.
 
Written May 5, 2017
 

​School Bells – Current Affairs – Grade 1 – Week 35
 
Spring and fall are my two favorite times of the year.  I am eager to hear what the first grade scholars are noticing or learning about spring.
 
They are arriving now.
 
Me:  Good morning class.   Yes, we have cookies.
 
Class:  Good morning Mr. Jim
 
Me;  Ahmes  please pass out the cookies.
 
(She quickly does and even more quickly the cookies are consumed.
 
Me:  Your assignment was to talk with your family about what you like and notice about spring.  Who wants to share?
 
Tommy:  We have a lot of birds.  One of them built a nest in a tree by the house and I can look down on it from my bedroom. There are three eggs.   The babies will come out of the egg.  I came out of my mother’s tummy  and not out of an egg.  I asked my mother how I got into her tummy.
 
Me: That is great Tommy. Spring is often the time when birds lay eggs from which will come a baby bird.  What did your mom say about how you got into her tummy?
 
Tommy:  She says that once a month until they are older a woman makes eggs.  The dad has to deliver a part of himself to the egg like the pizza delivery person and if that part and the egg like each other they create a baby.
 
Me:  Excellent Tommy.  Who noticed something else about spring?
 
Sue:  Last fall I helped dad plant these funny brown things and  a few days ago this green thing came out of the ground.   Dad said that the green thing came out of the brown thing.  Then the green thing kept growing and then it made a flower. I asked dad how it knew how to do that. I cannot do that.  Dad said it was magic.
 
Me: It is magic isn’t it that the brown thing – called a bulb – knows how to make the flower.
 
Steve:  We went out for a walk in the woods by our house and we saw baby rabbits and deer and all kinds of bugs and spiders. Everything is having babies. I am glad that I am not having a baby.
 
Me: Yes you young scholars have a lot to learn before you are ready to have a baby.
 
Sofia:  Mom  took us outside and said that we could look for different shades of green.  She brought paper and the water color paints so we could try to paint all the greens.
 
Me:  Wow! How many shades of green did you see Sofia?
 
Sofia:  Too many and they kept changing. Mom said that was because the light kept changing.  
 
Me: Did you notice anything else Sofia?
 
Sofia: When I went out the next day some of the baby leaves were bigger.  Then the rose bushes were getting leaves too. There was a lot of notice Mr. Jim. Mom put my paintings on the refrigerator.
 
Ahmes:  All the people in our block decided that we would pick up all the trash which had been hiding under the snow. There was a lot but everything looked nice when we were finished and you could see the grass which grew and grew and grew.
 
Me:  What does spring smell like?
 
Ahmes:  When Mr. Smith cut the grass we could smell it. I don’t know to describe it.  Mr. Smith just called it the smell of new cut grass.
 
Me: Yes,  I do not know how else to describe the smell either.  Fresh is one word I use.   Can anyone think of any other words to describe spring?
 
Sam:  It is bright Uncle Jim.
 
Tommy:  New.  It smells new Mr. Jim.
 
Tara:  Dancing. Everything is dancing Mr. Jim.
 
Me: Those are all great descriptions.  Do you remember the fall?
 
Class: Yes.
 
Tommy:  Everything was brown and dying.
 
Me:  Then what happens in the spring?
 
Tara:  Everything is new again.
 
Me;  Have all of you noticed that sometimes when it seems as if life is very sad and difficult then something good happens?
 
Sofia: The other day dad burnt dinner and we had to order pizza. We never get to order pizza. We were glad that dinner got burnt.
 
Me:  That is a great example.
 
Sam: When I was sick I got all kinds of presents! .  I hated being sick but I liked the presents.  
 
Me:  Very good Sam.  So sometimes life is like the seasons. Sometimes we have fall but then spring always comes.
 
Sue: Like when it is time for cookies Mr. Jim?
 
(I smile.)
 
Me: Yes Sue it is time for cookies. Pass them out please.
 
(Sue puts them on the table on her wheelchair and quickly rolls around to everyone handing out cookies.)
 
Me:  Thanks Sue.  How about for next week you and your families talk about why we have parties.   Some of you will have cousins or siblings who are having graduation parties or birthday parties. Why do we have celebrations?    Tara will you pass out the assignment please.
 
Once again you all did an outstanding job. Thank you. Have a wonderful week.
 
Ring!  Ring!  Ring!
 
Class: Bye Mr. Jim
 
Written May 3, 2017
 

​School Bells – Current Affairs – Grade 8– Week 35
 
Many may argue that it is not the job of the school system to teach values. Some would say that it is the job of the family and church to teach values or morals.   I would argue that it is the job of the school to teach children how to ask the appropriate questions regarding morals and values  and how to go about exploring possible answers. Certainly, it is not the job of the school system to tell children definitive answers although all the staff of the school will, hopefully, model behavior based on a solid respect for all traditions for each other as well as the students.
 
I am eager to hear what these young people think should be the relationship between heart and business.
 
The students have arrived.
 
Me: Good morning class.
 
Class:  Good morning Mr. Jim. Cookies?
 
Me: Yes, I have cookies.  Tom and Ann please pass them out.
 
(As usual they are quickly consumed)
 
Me:  I am eager to have you share the results of your discussions with your family members about the relationship between heart and business. Actually, I had asked you to think about the statement recently made by a very prominent business person in the United States. He said, “In business it is better if you do not have heart.”  First, what do you think the person meant?
 
Susie:  My parents and I think he meant that the purpose of a business is for the owners to take care of themselves.
 
Me:  Say more about that Susie. What do you think that means?
 
Susie:  Well, mom said that if we lived in a remote village we might each make or do something which others in the village needed. Some things might be just for children or women but no matter what everyone would share everything with anyone in the village who needed it.
 
Me:  So your mom is saying that there would not be any need for business companies.  So, what happens if someone in the village heard about medical service at a hospital which could help their sick mother?
 
Tom:  Then they have to have some way of paying so that everyone in the hospital who did not live and work just in a village could also buy food and housing.
 
Me: Very good Tom and Susie. If you were responsible for setting up the hospital what kind of business model would you have?
 
Tom:  What do you mean Mr., Jim?
 
Paul:  Do you mean some hospitals are set up by churches and might not  expect to make a profit and some might be set up to make a profit?
 
Me: Very good Paul.  In the village Susie was describing everyone has a job making or gathering something.    Whatever they make or gather belongs to the entire community.  If that village had a church which decided to have a building,  the members might contribute money to build the church and to maintain it. If they hired a minister all the members would pay the minister a salary or the elders of the community could take turns performing the duties of the minister or priest.  If, however, a person decided to start a church and raised money to build the church building  all the extra money after expense would  go the minister.  The minister might decide to use only a small amount to take care of himself or herself and the church and use the rest to take care of those who need food, clothing or other services.  That church would not be making or expecting to make a profit.
 
Will: Don’t some ministers keep a lot of the money and make a big profit?
 
Me: Good question Will.  There are those who use the legal option for churches to be called non-profits and make a huge profit   -  frequently for one person.
 
Amena:  Is that why in some churches there are lots of gold and other things which cost  lot of money?
 
Me:  In that case the church organization is making a profit but they would say that they are only collecting enough money to create a beautiful place to worship.
 
Amena: My dad says the local Bishop lives better than most people.
 
Me: That may be true Amena but since he does not own anything directly then the church could still technically be a non-profit.
 
If no one directly makes a profit but is paid a huge salary, then the organization could still be a non-profit.
 
There are also not-for-profit business or organizations.  They may be an organization where the organization itself is not worth money but all members share in all the extra money or are paid a huge salary.
 
Paul:  Wasn’t there a local health care organization which was not-for-profit but paid the head and some others a really big salary? 
 
Me:  Yes, the stated goal was not to make a profit but they were bringing in a lot of money, paying huge salaries to some and building lots of new  buildings in different communities.
 
Abdul:  What if the purpose of the company is to make money for all those who own it?
 
Me: Then we have a for-profit company. The primary goal is to make money.  Does anyone remember when a company bought the right to make epi-pens which are used for people who have a severe allergic reaction and decided to charge $600.00 for each pen which only cost a few dollars to make?
 
Ann: We talked about that at home.  That company did not have a heart.  They just wanted to make money even if a lot of people got hurt or died.
 
Me: That  is right Ann   What the person who I was quoting was saying seemed to be saying was that if you care about how the behavior of the company affected other people,  such as the people  who needed epi-pens to stay alive,  then they were  bad business people. To that person, it is the purpose of the company to make money for all those who own the company or have invested in it – the shareholders. 
 
Will:  In a lot of poor neighborhoods where a lot of people might not have cars the groceries stores charge a lot more money because they know people have to shop there.  Isn’t that wrong Mr. Jim?
 
Me:  Well, that is what all of you and other young people are going to have to decide. Soon you will grow up and you will be  working for, owning or in charge of all the businesses.  You will have to decide if the primary purpose is to make money. If it is then some would say that it is important to not have heart. In that case, Will, it would be okay to charge high prices in the grocery store in a poor neighborhood?
 
Amena: That seems wrong Mr. Jim.
 
Me:  You all will have to decide. Some would argue that the business  companies provide jobs so that all the workers can buy what they need. If they do not make a profit, then no one would want to keep that business and then there would be no jobs and everyone would be homeless and go hungry.
 
Susie:  That did not happen in the village Mr. Jim.
 
Me:  No it did not seem to happen in the village.  Since we are running out of time perhaps you could research and discuss the possible reasons for this with your families and we could share what we think next week.
 
You all did a great job.  I love that you are learning to ask some really important questions. I am very impressed.
 
Will and Ann please pass out the remaining cookies.  Susie pass out the assignment please.
 
Ring!  Ring! Ring!
 
Me: Have a good week everyone.
 
Class:  Bye Mr. Jim
 
Written May 3, 2017
 

​Grandma says:  Be a person of your word.
Grandma Fannie was someone whose word you could count on.  If she said she was going to do something she did it.  She might not always tell one what one wanted to hear, but she was honest and realistic.   As I have previously mentioned,  she was generous with her time, food, and other resources.  Yet, if she did not think that she could do something she was not one to say she was going to do it.   Once she did commit one could be sure that she would do all in her power to keep her word.   For example, my memory says that she once said that one of the primary reasons she remarried my grandfather was so that she could take care of him if he got sick. In fact, he got cancer when, as it turned out, she had years to live. She lovingly took care of him until he died.  Although again looking at the photograph of the two of them taken the day they got remarried they appear to, once again, be in love.   There was never any question in my mind that she never stopped loving him, but she certainly did not need him in the same way that he needed her.  
I digress.  The subject is being sure one’s word can be trusted. She was determined that her grandchildren learn this core value.   Although the intention might be honorable, saying that one could or would do something just to avoid risking the disapproval or  disappointment of someone was not acceptable.  Grandma Fannie would have said that if not being able to say yes to some request was enough to end a relationship, then the relationship was not build on solid ground.    
Since Grandma Fannie was a believer in the God of her understanding, keeping one’s word to God was just as important as keep one’s word to “the least of these.”   Whatever one’s understanding of Elohim, prayer was an honest conversation with God.  If one prayed that one would become a better person, Grandma Fannie took this prayer to mean that one was making a commitment to God to be the very best one could be no matter how difficult or uncomfortable the task.  It would not have occurred to me to say to Grandmas Fannie:  “I did not do task X because it was too difficult.”  If it was a tough physical task it was okay to ask for help or to figure out how to do it.   If  it was a tough emotional or spiritual task one was expected to “know” that God would give one the strength to do it. If it seemed as if God was not going to give one the strength, it was because one’s faith and resolve were not clear and was not  to be trusted.  There were no excuses. One had given one’s word even if it  was in the form of a request during prayer.  Grandma Fannie was not one to allow for one to get out of doing something because one had intentionally left a window open to allow for “changing one’s mind.”   If one was thinking that one could put one over on God, one needed to be sure this was not going to happen with Grandma Fannie. She would clearly let one know how disappointed she was that one would even attempt such a ruse.  Unlike today, when we may find ourselves using very colorful language to share our reaction, Grandma Fannie was very adept her communicating her disappointment and expectations without resorting to four letter words.  
 
When talking about the challenges which politicians seem to face in keeping their word she was very clear about the eternal resting places of such rouge individuals, but still avoided the use of crude language which has become the new normal.   She clearly would not approve.
For Grandma Fannie one’s word formed the core of one’s integrity as a person.  If one could not trust one’s word a relationship was not possible.  In order to have a relationship there had to be trust.   Some might have thought that she was overly sensitive to this issue when demanding that her husband repay the nickel he has promised to repay, but there was no distinction between big issues and little issues when it came to keeping one’s word.
In the days of  so-called fake news, saying whatever to get elected or promising the moon just to make a sale, it would seem as if there are so many exceptions to keeping one’s word that this measure of trust has been discarded. Yet, if this be the case, what is left?  If one’s word cannot be trusted in all areas of one’s life there seems to be an increasing distance and, thus, disconnect which has a negative impact on all aspects of the community.  Grandma Fannie would say that the first step in recovery/healing of the individual and the community would be a return to being able to “be person of your word.”      Seems like sage advice to me.
 
Written  May 1, 2017
 

​The truth will set us free
 
I have just finished cleaning the desk off, framed a new pastel painting done by a dear friend (which has been patiently sitting on my desk for some weeks), filed a stack of papers on my desk, made a minor repair to a frame, put away some supplies I had purchased earlier, responded to emails, and dusted some area I had missed yesterday.  The reason why I have done all this is not because I am so compulsive that I do this daily, but because  I could not seem to convince myself to start writing.    Earlier today I had responded to a text from a friend who said he was not writing because he was struggling to find words.  What he meant, of course, was he was waiting for the “right” or “accurate” words to make an appearance.  I wrote back saying that when I feel unable to find the words I want or need to write I start by writing just that.  I may know it would be very beneficial to clarify some thoughts, to discover that my core values are not as clear as I wanted to claim, to find that I have made some decisions not entirely  based on core values, or to find that I am putting off some decision or action because of fear or lack of a guarantee about the results.   Still I avoid writing.
 
It seems for me that while I ‘know” research and preparation is good prior to starting a project be that writing, a repair, or some other task which I feel I cannot do “perfectly” or even decently, there comes a time when action is needed. Waiting for the right time, divine inspiration, the muse, or the robotic assistant of the future is futile.  The time to start step-by-step patiently stumbling my way through this task has arrived.  There is nothing to be gained by waiting.   Thus, when the task is writing, as it was with this friend and as it was with me later, there was nothing to do but admit that there was no point waiting for the right moment. I needed to put pen to paper and start writing  or, in the case of today, put fingers to the keyboard and start typing.
 
Often I do not want to find out the truth of the words which might appear on the paper.  It does seem to me at least that I have always been constitutionally incapable of lying to myself when writing.  Oh, I might be able to write many words without saying anything of any import.   I might even be able to write a 60 page A+ paper on “The Ontological Existence of Being,” but when it comes to what I “need” to find out about myself if I am to take the next step in professional, spiritual or emotional growth, I need to know where “I am.”     Recently I was challenged to write down a plan for the next step in my writing.  Am I going to just keep writing a blog, write a book, get more disciplined by writing a more polished essay once a week instead of a less polished blog once a day, or am I just going to pretend as if I can just keep doing what I am doing.  In other words, am I going to pretend as if I can avoid the existential truth that there is only movement forwards or backwards? There is no standing still.   
 
Obviously, I know and have known that there is no standing still. Yet, I consistently seem to be able convince myself that perhaps today it is possible.  
 
Once I begin writing I “know” that the truth will indeed make an appearance.  Once made, I will  be free to make an honest decision and take responsibility for the same.  
 
Writing for me is the first step of confession.  The second one is listening to what I am saying to the page and the third is frequently sharing it with another human being.  Freedom for me comes only when I am willing to take those first three steps.  Once I have taken them I am free from the tension of attempting to hide from myself, take responsibility for my decisions and plan the next step in whatever area of my life I am addressing.
 
With practice, claiming that freedom might be a less arduous process.  For example, I have been deciding to exercise daily for so long that I no longer need to write about the possibility of avoiding exercise.  I know myself too well to avoid the truth that once I have given myself one excuse to avoid exercise I could articulate a very cogent  and new excuse for at least the next 1000 days or even more.
 
Others might find “the truth” by composing music, painting, sculpting, dancing or some other means.  The fact is we will only know freedom by allowing ourselves to “know” the truth.
 
When I started writing I was not consciously thinking of what John wrote in 32nd verse of the eighth chapter, “Then you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.”    Yet, there it was.  It took all these words to get back to that essential knowledge which I have held in my brain for many years.  All wise  spiritual teachers of whatever tradition have reminded their followers of the same essential fact.  We  all “know” this to be basic and, yet, it made take many words to get this honest with ourselves.
 
Obviously when I communicated with a friend earlier today I needed to be reminded of this essential truth but, at the time, I was deluding myself  that I was reminding him. That always seems to be the case.  
 
Then I shall know the truth and the truth will set me free.
 
Written April 29, 2017
 

​
Sunday musings – April 30, 2017
 
On this last day of April there is much to celebrate and much to grieve.  My friend  Barbara celebrates a birthday this week which is a reminder of the blessing of a wise and unconditionally loving friendship. I am so blessed to have this woman as part of my life. April 28 was the first anniversary of my mother’s death.  She was 96 and had very little quality of life. While sitting with her the last days of her life I was praying that she would let go and be able to finally rest.  The quality of her often difficult life had diminished a lot.
 
Later today, for no other reason than love, friends are bringing me the patio furniture which sat on the porch of Mary who was the mother of Kurt and Dave.  The furniture will remind me of Mary’s love of her sons and the joy she and her wonderful hats brought to the circle of friends and relatives.  Terry will travel from Butler, Pa. to Export, Pa. to Wheeling and back to Butler.  Kurt will travel from Pittsburgh to Export to Wheeling and back to Pittsburgh.  On Sundays, given my background in the Christian tradition, l am often reminded of Grace which is, as we know, love which cannot be earned.  Such is the love with these and some others in my circle of intimate friendships.  I am blessed.
 
Another friend texted me last evening to let me know her niece died when her heart stopped from overdose of alcohol.   The twin sister of this niece died 10 years ago of addiction-related causes.  There has been so much sadness in this family.
 
Another family prays while son is again in hospital for what is undoubtedly alcoholism-related issues.
 
Others in recovery from active addiction post information about the joy and freedom of recovery.  Many do recover and for this fact I am enormously grateful. I am reminded of the work it takes to make such major changes in the behavior and thinking  of one’s life. The courage is impressive and humbling.
 
This week, Aron Bielski spoke at the Ohio County Library and reminded me once again that we are in charge of the kind of day we have; that no one can keep one from loving and taking care of others, from standing up to what is pure and good, from knowing that attitude, and not events, determines what kind of day one has.   I am also reminded of the now deceased Dr. Wayne Dyer and his most well know book Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life.  I had, of course, heard this truth many times prior to reading Dr. Dyer’s book, but it was when reading his book that I clearly HEARD this truth.
 
Many other friends, acquaintances, clients and others have imprinted their love, strength, hope, laughter and courage on my life this week.  There was also a lot of shared sadness, grief, anger and other emotions; shared in a very personal way and via way of the news coverage -  all the ways we hurt each other on our own streets and in places far away.  
 
I am reminded of the wisdom which Etty Hillesum shares in An Interrupted Life the Diaries, 1941-1943 and Letters from Westerbork.  I am thinking of the celebration in the ghetto when Hans received his yellow star.    She writes of the fact that when historians tell the story of the Nazis, words will not be found which adequately describe the cruelty we humans inflict on each other. Yet, she continues, they will also miss, if not careful, that not even the Nazis could stop Etty, Hans and Lisa from celebrating their rich friendship as they savored the coffee they had brewed from beans  bought on the black market (I am paraphrasing from my memory).
 
If I meditate on Grace, the serenity prayer, on embracing humility, and do my best to walk the talk, I, too, will follow in the footsteps of Aron Bielski, Etty Hillesum and many others who claimed the freedom to always have a good day.
 
Thus, you will notice that the week and the month of April brought nothing new, but wonderful, rich opportunities to be present with life as it shows up.
 
Written April 30, 2017