No one path
When a particular spiritual path, a religious path, a recovery path, a medical path or a business path works well for an individual I believe that their success needs to be celebrated. The definition of working well will vary for everyone. Some might define it as being contented, at peace with oneself, ability to put their family as the center of their life, or being able to ensure that a business makes a modest profit. Some might define it as staying out of jail; others as avoiding what some churches term mortal sins; and still others as being to make his or understanding of patriotism as primary.
A problem occurs when one decides what works for them is the only path to success and their definition of success is the only viable one. For example, I work for with a number of individuals who have been kidnapped by addiction which may, in many cases, destroys family, business, finances, health and everything one cares about. Of course, not all addictions are fast acting or destroy all parts of one’s life, but many do. For a number of reasons, I really appreciate the step by step approach of working with a sponsor of the 12-step program created by Dr. Bob and Bill Wilson. I also like the fact that it is a program designed for addicts helping other addicts. There is a strong sense of community and fellowship for many who use and participate in this program. Many of the member also do service work such as visiting inmates in jails and prisons who are struggling with addictions. Additionally, they sponsor social events and conventions.
Yet, as well as this program works for those who continue to “work it” it does not work for everyone. Some choose programs such as smart recovery while others may choose religion or even a more individualized approach. There is no one size fits all for recovering addicts.
Likewise there is no one religion, philosophy, social-political system, intention community which works for everyone.
Even though I have been working for and with individual and families for nearly 50 years I have no idea what systems of beliefs and practices will work for anyone. I do know that his human has to be very intentional abut all aspects of his health care. I can easily get busy with “life” and soon I notice the symptoms of being off balance. I have a good support system with whom I share success and stumbles/struggles. I also read, write daily, attend some 12 step meetings which are open to the public and meditate. I also exercise, eat fairly healthy, see the doctor regularly. I listen to many podcasts as well as Ted Talks. For the most part these practices have become habits and work well for me. Yet, many very emotionally and spiritually healthy people do few of these pieces of health care in such a compulsive manner and seem to do just fine.
It is easy for this human. and I suspect many others, to fall into a pattern of hubris – of arrogance – of thinking that their way is the right way or the only way. It is easy for any of us to think our concept of something larger than oneself is the one true God or higher power. It is easy to think our way of maintaining a budget, making a home, or relaxing is ‘the way’ to do that.
Yesterday I received a note from a friend who said that after cleaning out a lot of the clutter and negative energy from her home she felt better. This resonated with me since the status of my home – cleanliness, clutter, etc. - both reflects my mood and affects my mood. Yet, one of my longtime friends lived in utter chaos in her home and was one of the best parents and partners I knew. Her sense of social justice and appreciation for the arts greatly enriched her life, the life of her students and the life of her family.
All of us would do well to be mindful of the dangers of assuming our thoughts, ways of self-care, and beliefs are the one way. Certainly most of us can agree that active addiction to alcohol, other drugs, power, things, money, food or sex will not lead to inner peace or contentment. Yet, we are not able to say what is the one best way for others to achieve inner peace and contentment. We can only focus on ourselves and what works for us.
Written September 17, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
When a particular spiritual path, a religious path, a recovery path, a medical path or a business path works well for an individual I believe that their success needs to be celebrated. The definition of working well will vary for everyone. Some might define it as being contented, at peace with oneself, ability to put their family as the center of their life, or being able to ensure that a business makes a modest profit. Some might define it as staying out of jail; others as avoiding what some churches term mortal sins; and still others as being to make his or understanding of patriotism as primary.
A problem occurs when one decides what works for them is the only path to success and their definition of success is the only viable one. For example, I work for with a number of individuals who have been kidnapped by addiction which may, in many cases, destroys family, business, finances, health and everything one cares about. Of course, not all addictions are fast acting or destroy all parts of one’s life, but many do. For a number of reasons, I really appreciate the step by step approach of working with a sponsor of the 12-step program created by Dr. Bob and Bill Wilson. I also like the fact that it is a program designed for addicts helping other addicts. There is a strong sense of community and fellowship for many who use and participate in this program. Many of the member also do service work such as visiting inmates in jails and prisons who are struggling with addictions. Additionally, they sponsor social events and conventions.
Yet, as well as this program works for those who continue to “work it” it does not work for everyone. Some choose programs such as smart recovery while others may choose religion or even a more individualized approach. There is no one size fits all for recovering addicts.
Likewise there is no one religion, philosophy, social-political system, intention community which works for everyone.
Even though I have been working for and with individual and families for nearly 50 years I have no idea what systems of beliefs and practices will work for anyone. I do know that his human has to be very intentional abut all aspects of his health care. I can easily get busy with “life” and soon I notice the symptoms of being off balance. I have a good support system with whom I share success and stumbles/struggles. I also read, write daily, attend some 12 step meetings which are open to the public and meditate. I also exercise, eat fairly healthy, see the doctor regularly. I listen to many podcasts as well as Ted Talks. For the most part these practices have become habits and work well for me. Yet, many very emotionally and spiritually healthy people do few of these pieces of health care in such a compulsive manner and seem to do just fine.
It is easy for this human. and I suspect many others, to fall into a pattern of hubris – of arrogance – of thinking that their way is the right way or the only way. It is easy for any of us to think our concept of something larger than oneself is the one true God or higher power. It is easy to think our way of maintaining a budget, making a home, or relaxing is ‘the way’ to do that.
Yesterday I received a note from a friend who said that after cleaning out a lot of the clutter and negative energy from her home she felt better. This resonated with me since the status of my home – cleanliness, clutter, etc. - both reflects my mood and affects my mood. Yet, one of my longtime friends lived in utter chaos in her home and was one of the best parents and partners I knew. Her sense of social justice and appreciation for the arts greatly enriched her life, the life of her students and the life of her family.
All of us would do well to be mindful of the dangers of assuming our thoughts, ways of self-care, and beliefs are the one way. Certainly most of us can agree that active addiction to alcohol, other drugs, power, things, money, food or sex will not lead to inner peace or contentment. Yet, we are not able to say what is the one best way for others to achieve inner peace and contentment. We can only focus on ourselves and what works for us.
Written September 17, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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